Snarky Brides

It's Butt Confession Thursday!

I don't have any good butt confessions unfortunately. Besides that I've been having some poo issues lately, mostly due to nerves I think.

Re: It's Butt Confession Thursday!

  • What did you need butt surgery for?My friend had a cyst removed from just abve his buttcrack, and we all joke that he was really getting his tail removed.
  • My husband has a scar in his asscrack from a mole he had removed when he was a kid.
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  • Yep.  Basically that was it.  They were Pilonidal Cysts.  Not awesome.
  • Just a word of warning.  In order to spell pilonidal cyst, I had to Google it. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT Google this.
  • VINNY HAD A TAIL. My friend couldn't sit properly for like a week, we tried not to laugh, but we couldn't help it. It was a hard time for all involved.
  • I've never had anal relations. Although I clean it twice daily both sitting and standing, I'm afraid of left over residue.
  • I heard that Vinny had butt implants so she could she could fill out her "Juicy" sweatpants, but sadly, she chose the surgeon who did Tara Reid's boob job, which is why she'll never be a ligerie model, and why she had to go for a second surgery.
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    3 out of 4 dead babies agree! pepsi is better than coke! - EdithBouvierBeale
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    I hate love and marriage. I got married so I could destroy these things from the inside. - NoisyPenguin
    It's a good thing my circle of trust is as giant as my vagina. That only leaves a couple people out. - Cali
  • I have to poo and I'm on hold! 
  • A week?!  Your friend had it easy.  I couldn't sit right for probably a month. There is no dignity in this procedure.  When I had it done the first time (I was probably around 23), I couldn't figure out how to clean and bandage it myself.  I had my mom come over to help me the first time.  As I exposed the "area,"  my mom yelled, "HOLY S*IT!  I had no idea it was so huge!!!" Thanks mom.  Great for the self esteem.  I started crying and made her leave my apartment.
  • This morning, I had the most satisfying poo experience I've had in about a month.  I was in such a good mood after that.People in my office don't know how to flush the toilet.  It's gross, and makes me feel dirty.
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • I don't think they should remove those, I say bring back the tail!
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  • We have had visitors in our office for the last 6 weeks and have had to share our bathroom with them.  They do not treat it with the respect it deserves and I may do a cartwheel tomorrow morning because today is their last day.
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  • November - We actually have signs on the inside of our bathroom stalls at work that say - "Please remember to flush the toilet".  I mean they might as well add, "courtesy flushing encouraged" AND "make sure it disembarked" to it as well.EW, it just grosses me out.  Nastiness.
  • I have enough fiber to make an elephant poop and I still haven't gone for 3 days. When I do, it will be glorious. I'm excited.
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  • Ever since I left my husband, I have been very regular. 
  • That could be a quirky t-shirt.
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  • I love the t-shirt idea. We have a "if it's yellow, let it mellow.   If it's brown, flush it down" rule at the cottage (very small septic) and my sister's kids get  confused.   I've seen too much poop this summer.
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  • Things you don't want to hear after delivering a baby: "can you page Dr. So and So to come in and look at this tear. She may have torn her rectum pushing.
  • Kay's post made my butt flinch. In other news, I think I may need to talk to a doctor about some poo issues but I don't know how to begin that conversation.
    I'm pretty sure it's pronounced your mom's a moron and if you didn't have your name legally changed by the age of 22, so are you. Unless you're from another continent. -Groomz
  • Oh no, Kay! Did you get a vaganus? Ouch. :(
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    The hair grows in thick where the horn used to be.
  • Kay, you've given me yet another fear about childbirth.   Now rectal tear is right up there on my list of worst things ever along with episiotomy.
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • OW Kay! Is your butt okay?
    image Ready to rumble.
  • My husband is way too excited about the possibility of me pooping on the table while delivering baby, simply because he'll be able to tease me about it.  Forever.  He's already created a song to celebrate this highly anticipated occassion.  Hopefully this will guarantee that I don't poop on the table.  I'm thinking fitty's castor oil recommendation may also come in handy.
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  • It turns out it wasn't torn, but the midwife just wanted to be sure. I guess I had quite a tear everywhere else, though.
  • My friend had a cyst removed from just abve his buttcrack, and we all joke that he was really getting his tail removed.Poor A had this done twice in the past 3 years. It took him a month to recovery both times. He has an extended butt crack.
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  • Lindsay -- please videotape him singing his pooping on the table song and post it on YouTube so we can enjoy it.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • I told Fi about how I am affraid to poo in delivery... he thinks I am lying and that doesn't really happen... That's fine by me so long as he stays by my head...
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  • Cali, I'll do my best to at least get some audio.  It's pretty good, he improvises new versions all the time regarding me pooping on the table, the floor, the counter, the mailbox, etc.
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  • Bonus points if he comes up with a choreographed dance routine to accompany it.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • I don't think my butt loooks particularly good in chinos.
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