How much to give at a Jack & Jill Shower

aquarian86

I should first probably introduce the bride is Canadian and groom is American. She'll be relocating when the papers go through and they are getting married in the USA.  Her family is throwing her a Jack and Jill shower soon (she won't be married until next Spring) and I'm guessing it'll be big as some people may not be able to go down South for the wedding.

The shower will have a buffet dinner and open bar

What would an appropriate cash gift be for this type of event? These are friends of ours and I want me to make sure we aren't incorrect with what we give as a cash gift especially with the being a dinner and bar.

Thanks!

HobokensFury

Cash gifts are not traditionally given at showers. Buy a physical gift from the couples' registry.

HobokensFury

Now that I reread this they are not in fact having a bridal shower. They are having a stag and doe which is wedding fundraiser. It's really rude and tacky. Don't go- let them pay for their own wedding.

aquarian86

Well I think it's so a lot of her friends up here can still be included in the wedding festivities as not all of us (who'll be invited) will actually be able to travel and go.
I want to go..they aren't registering anywhere because she will obviously have to move across the border and won't want to bring a lot of stuff over..

my question is really just what's an appropriate amount to give seeing as it's a dinenr and open bar type of event!?

aquarian86

Maybe  I'm not being clear.. I'm not saying that people invited to the shower ARE NOT invited to the wedding, what I am saying is given that the wedding is elsewhere a lot of us May have to decline the wedding invite if we can't afford to TRAVEL there for the wedding..

The real point of this post  is what is an appropriate gift amouont for this kind of event? As I said it's an open bar and a buffet dinner.

I'm not looking to judge the coupe or anything I just need advice on what a decent/ expected amount of money is to give to them?

gurrlballa10

While I don't agree with the whole Stag & Doe/Jack & Jill, I understand that is what happens in your circle.  I do get what your saying as far as these people will be invited, but may not make it to the wedding, because it will be in the US.

My advice would honestly be though to give whatever you feel comfortable and afford.  Whether it will be $5 or $500 only you know your budget.  With a buffet dinner and an open bar (if I thought these things were appropriate...which I don't) I'd probably go in the range of $100-$200

SB1512

Just and FYI not all showers with the jack and jill label serve as fundraisers (but yes the majority do serve that purpose, I won't disagree with that)........FI and I went to one two weeks ago.  It was basically just a co-ed shower but the hosts wanted to write something other than coed shower on the invites so they used the jack and jill term.  Food and drinks were supplied by the hosts, the guests did not have to pay for anything, and there were no raffles.  They couple had a registry so gifts were given and the couple opened them together.