What do you guys think of Stag & Does?

JoelandLeann

 I have never really understood Stag & Does. I know it is an opportunity for the bride and groom to "fundraise" for their wedding, but that seems so strange to me. Did you have one/ are you having one? 

vsgal

Just say no to the awful stag and doe!

Simply Fated

The fundraising kind of stag and doe is just awful. I can't imagine how it became a tradition in any area. They don't even make logical sense to me.

freebread03

I would be so embarrassed to have one of these, and I am always surprised to read on here that people actually do this!  I'd love love love to have more money for my next party or big trip but that doesn't mean I have a fundraiser. Fundraisers should be reserved for little league, girl scouts, and lethal diseases.

blue1981

I have never heard of this before what exactly is it?

vsgal

Blue, it is a party that the couple invites people to with the intention of raising money to pay for the wedding. They do raffles, games, auctions, whatever they can to get money. So in essence, they are having a party they can't afford and asking their guests to pay for it.  It is a really bad idea.

blush64

It really depends on how they are thrown and how people are invited.

If they are done as fundraising I don't agree with them. It didn't used to bug me when people had these, I rarely went. I know of one person who made a huge deal out of it and if you didn't go or buy tickets you weren't really her friend. (or relative) and That if you really wanted to show support you'd get out your wallet. After that, I just don't like them.

I would not allow anyone to throw one for me. I would not have shown up. A party is great, but no charge. (and no money-making)

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_guys-think-of-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:d6f1db1f-3086-4e76-b0d2-79766d701ec2Post:316d5d6a-c45b-45ec-a25a-e6010f839035">Re: What do you guys think of Stag & Does?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never heard of this before what exactly is it?
Posted by blue1981[/QUOTE]

It's even worse than what vsgal has said.

Seed money is raised by SELLING tickets to the event - a sort of cover charge. The money is used to buy food and a keg for the party, maybe a DJ. Sometimes the food is included in the cover charge, sometimes there is a charge for drinks and food. The wedding party is expected to sell tickets to their friends and coworkers, not necessarily people who know the couple. The wedding party is also expected to donate prizes for raffles. Sometimes the prizes are from the couples registry, a strong hint that the prize should be given to the couple as a bonus gift, by whoever wins it. More than likely, close family members will put the bride or groom's name on their tickets, in an obvious enough way that others might follow suit. There may also be 50/50 raffles, roulette wheels, or card games. All the proceeds go to the b & g to raise money to pay for their wedding.

I think this idea may have come from carnival type fundraisers held by churches, firemen and various civic organizations for CHARITIES. It is a crude, vile way to get friends, families and strangers to pay for your wedding, which is not a charity.

SayMH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_guys-think-of-stag?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:d6f1db1f-3086-4e76-b0d2-79766d701ec2Post:5efb10ea-6b54-4051-bf64-9939228dfbaa">Re: What do you guys think of Stag & Does?</a>:
[QUOTE]A couple on Etiquette Hell, who were in the wedding party, were badgered until they finally agreed to attend the Stag & Doe, too. Remember that they were already out for a bridesmaid's dress, shoes, makeup and jewelry, a tux and shoe rental, travel expenses, hosting the shower and bachelor party, and shower and wedding gifts. Twenty bucks at the door for tickets.  They had intended just to make an appearance and leave, but were strong-armed by an uncle of the bride into buying raffle tickets and drinks. They won a "prize", but then were quietly advised by the mother of the bride that it was customary to "donate" the "prize" back to the wedding couple. They ended getting hosed for $85.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Wow--so parents and uncle were involved in this wedding fundraiser?! That's particularly appalling!

hlmauney

So passing around the collection plate and having bouncers at the wedding for those don't "donate" is a bad idea? KIDDING!  Seriously, though, if you can't afford the wedding you want, either wait until you can or change what you want to what you can afford. Fundraisers are for charities, not weddings.