I have a step-mother/mother issue.
I want both my Step Mom of 15 years and my Mother of 29 years to sit in the front "parents'" row at my wedding.
My mom is fine sharing the spotlight... my stepmom ... not so much.
She now has my dad threatening to not even come to my wedding if I put my mom in the front row. She has been my NC Mom for the past 14 years, while my mom remained in Florida. My Step mom and dad have been able to help me out more financially than my mother, and believe that that leaves my mom "not entiteled to sit in the front row"
I have tried to appeal to them on many levels... but they are demanding that I'm disrespectul, inconsiderate, and mean and hurtful.
I just want all of my parents to be in a position of pride and honor on my wedding day. I've tried to appeal to them that it is only 40 minutes of their life...
They are insisting they will not show up if I don't change my seating plans...
How can I get this to go away! Or can I??
Re: step monster vs mother
I'm not sure if you mean that your dad and his wife have helped you out financially, in general, or if they are helping with the wedding. But either way, their contribution does not give them the right to exclude your mom.
You should tell your dad that your mom will be seated in the front row. If he threatens not to attend the wedding, tell him you will miss them.
Good luck.
I've explained that I will seperate the pairs of chairs so as to put some distance between them.
I have discussed having a FULL row of family in the front...
I have tried to offer any compromise that didn't include not including my mom...
It all falls on deaf ears
I guess the only thing for me left to do is to invite them and let the chips fall where they may.
Thanks...
Alli
My grandparents played a similar bluff - my aunt isn't invited for numerous important reasons, and they told me that they could not in good conscience attend an event where their daughter is not welcome. I told them that it was their choice to attend or not, but it was my choice whether or not to invite her and I wouldn't be bullied into changing my mind. And if this was the hill they wanted to die on, that was their choice as well, but they had to know that it would have long term ramifications for our relationship. Ultimately, I don't think it's totally resolved, but I know that I'm making a decision I can live with, and it's up to them now. Honestly, I don't know that I'll be able to forgive them if they don't come, but my conscience is clear.
Good luck! There's no easy fix, but it's all about making your decisions and sticking to your guns. You can't control anyone else.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
But the bottom line is that you can call their bluff and say, "I'd hate for you to miss the wedding because you didn't like the seating arrangement. You'd be missing a great time."
May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations
[QUOTE]This is childish. This isn't good advice, but I would probably say something along the lines of <strong>"It makes me sad that your hate of my mother is greater than your love of me and desire for me to have a happy day and that you'd rather not come than be mature for 20 minutes."</strong> I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I have divorced and remarried parents, and they have always put my happiness before their issues with each other. I can imagine how horribly it would hurt me if they did something like this to me.
Posted by lindseyann410[/QUOTE]
<div>This. I just had to deal with a similar scenario at my graduation, and it was a horrific month-long nightmare. I ended up telling my parents (well, mostly my dad) that they needed to act like adults for a ten minute ceremony or don't both showing up. Nicely, of course. </div>
Nov '12 September Siggy - Bridesmaids!
My husband's parents are divorced and his step mother and mother never met until the rehearsal, and they ended up sitting right next to each other during the ceremony. They even gave his mom a ride TO the rehearsal dinner.
Tell them to suck it up and get over it, they are acting like children. This is the day that your mother gives away her daughter. Why your step mom would think she is more entitled to even BE THERE than your mother is idiotic. OMG what a$$holes.
I'm sorry dude, good luck!
In the end everyone came around and as of now, everything seems to be ok.
68 Days to go, so I'm knocking on wood!!