My fiance and I got engaged back in September. Just a few weeks after we were engaged, we arranged for his parents to come into town for the weekend and have a our parents meet for the first time. The meeting did not go as well as I had hoped.
My fiance's parents were completely absorbed in him. How has he been? What does he have planned for these week? Could he follow them home at the end of the weekend and stay? They sat at the opposite end of the table away from my parents, and hardly conversed with us them at all. We (my parents and I) tried to engage in topics on the recent move of my future sister-in-law's family, who has moved to the east coast (we live in TX), and much they must miss their grandbaby. We got a quick response, and then it went right back to focus on my fiance.
I have tried to include my future mother in law in dress shopping and other activities, especially since she did not get to experience this with her only daughter, she had agreed, but then at the last minute she will decline.
Just recently, my mother and friends schemed to have a surprise engagement party in our honor. She was included in every aspect of planning, she was even part of the surprise. She sat across from my family, but next to my fiance. Again, she did not socialize. Guests later asked if there was an issue between my mother in law and I since she did not socialize or make a speech with well wedding wishes.
My mother, having the "hostess with the mostest" attitude, was offended by the lack of socializing and participation for our benefit. She even asked me later that night, after the party was over, where I was sitting, which was right next to her son.
I am concerned that this is going to continue to be something that will always plauge our marriage. I feel like there is some sort of power struggle between my self and her over her son. My fiance and I have had several chats about this, he has no idea what to do or to say. When confronted the last time, and asked she was upset with someone, she simply denied anything was wrong, but was distant for several months.
Could anyone offer any advice to us on this?