Moms and Maids

2 'Mothers of The Groom'..Who should he dance with?!?

My husband-to-be has two very loving, but divorced parents. His father remarried when he was 4 and his stepmother is like a 2nd mother to him, equally as important as his biological mom. We'd like to include both in the ceremony, but I'm in a dilemma as to how to make both women feel honored, and neither left out...especially during the 'Mother of the Groom" dance. I feel like 2 dances with two moms is overkill...Any thoughts?

Re: 2 'Mothers of The Groom'..Who should he dance with?!?

  • filawfilaw member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    You don't have to do a Mother of the Groom dance.  In this situation, I probably wouldn't.  

    They can both walk down the aisle during the ceremony.  I think that's typically how mother's tend to be involved.
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    How does his mom feel about the step-mom?  If she is comfortable with her, then you could possibly split the dance with them, and have one cut in.  But most parents aren't comfortable giving up that tradition for a step-mother.  You may want to just leave that dance out completely. 
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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    My FI also has 2 MOG's and for this exact reason we have cut out the dances all together.

  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_2-mother-of-groomswho-should-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e039297f-dbba-4698-90a8-4cf9dbb99a7bPost:9a57ef68-d874-4988-a09d-4f4773f19f70">Re: 2 'Mother of The Grooms'..Who should he dance with?!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FI also has 2 MOG's and for this exact reason we have cut out the dances all together.
    Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

    Yup... us too.
  • edited December 2011
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  • AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you want to include both of them, then get them both a corsage.  Have them escorted into the ceremony at the same time, either by one usher or one each.  If they get along OK, I see no reason not to sit them near each other. 

    Has his mother remarried?  If so, then I would suggest the MOG is escorted in by her husband, then the father and stepmother before the BP starts walking down the aisle.

    That should be enough honoring.  Skip the dances except for your first as husband and wife. 

    If you want to have a "parent/child" dance, do so, and have you and DH lead off, but invite all guests to the dance floor to partake, and have DH dance with both moms as he chooses.

    Sorry, throwing all possibilites out there for you.

    HTH
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    We are in the same situation and we are just going to do two seperate dances. He is going to pick a special song for each of them, because he is really close with both of them.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    First of all, it's Mothers of the Groom, unless you're marrying two men.  =)

    I think that it's a question of how your FI feels, how his mom feels, and how his stepmom feels.  For me, dancing with my son at his wedding was a VERY big deal, and very important to both of us.

    Will his mom be insulted if he dances with his stepmom also?  Does a dance with his stepmom have to be a spotlight dance?  Can he have the solo dance with his mom, and then open the dance floor to guests, and have his first dance be with his stepmom?

    I think this is best left to your FI, his mom and his stepmom.  I think you should step back and make the decision entirely theirs.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • ecorr86ecorr86 member
    Sixth Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You could split the song between the two mothers and have one mother cut in at the halfway point.

    Or another fun option I have seen done is to have the first dance include all family members (MOB, FOB, MOG x2 (and their spouses), FOG) and have the DJ yell out "switch" at every minute. You as the bride and your FI will both get to have a "first dance" with all your family members.

    Elizabeth
    New and Blue

  • edited December 2011
    I think your FI should have the conversation with the moms.  Separately, starting with the biological mom.  It's complicated, but I think it all boils down to how the two ladies get along with each other.  Your FI just needs to honest about what he's thinking with both women.
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