BMs just don't get it!!

melishka716

So, I have this friend who I asked to be a BM. Over the last few months, she became a different person. So, I talked and hung out with her, W/O wedding stuff. Well, I still don't know why she's different.So, let's fast forward... My MOH decided to plan and host my shower. I knew that this other BM; we'll call her Sara, had shown interest in throwing me a shower, because she was asking me what theme I would like and where I want it. So I told my MOH and she talked to Sara. Bottom line, they decided to Co-host.Now, I have another BM; we'll call her Amanda, who I asked at the last minute to be a BM. Well, she wanted to host as well, and spoke with my MOH.OK, do I still got you?So, I guess my BMs, including MOH, went shopping the night before, for my shower, which was on Saturday. Since then, I have only heard complaining from my MOH and Amanda about how Sara didn't help much and how she didn't pay for decorations. Uh... Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that, but she doesn't have to.So, now I feel like I'm playing mediator. It sucks. I totally understand where they're coming from, but seriously, I thought they were adults, not children. And I, in all honesty, know somethings up with "Sara," but I just don't know how to keep the peace between them all! It's probably not even Sara's fault!!

bablingbrooke

Ignore.  Not your problem to mediate this squabble.  BMs never should have gotten you involved.  All they need to do is show up for the wedding--they don't have to be friends with each other.

mbcdefg

I agree with you, you shouldn't need to be the mediator. They're adults and they need to work this out themselves. Do they socialize outside of your wedding? If not, does it really matter if they dislike each other? All you have to do in that case is say, "Please don't get me involved. I know you're frustrated but you don't have to deal with [name] anymore after the wedding. I'd really appreciate it if you could just do ME this favor by letting it go. She'll be out of your hair soon enough."If they ARE friends outside of your wedding, then they still need to work it out themselves. "You're all my friends. I can't choose sides here and I really don't want to get involved. Please don't tell me about these arguments. I have a lot on my plate right now and I can't babysit all of you." Then change the subject, and/or walk away in either instance. Don't allow them to put you in this situation.If you think something's up with Sara, invite her out for some coffee and ask her if something is bothering her.

Ready4theParty

They are probably just as stressed as you.  Let it go, take deep breaths.  If they keep complaining tell them they need to work this out between them.

amberlynn2286

so each individual person wanted to host individually meaning each would pay for decorations individually but now are complaining that the other isnt paying up? hmmm ya not worth the time!