Can't choose MOH... HELP!

Linds21

So Im having 5 people on my side of the wedding... My sister and 4 really close girlfriends. My sister is really only in the wedding because shes my sister. I love her but we never got along until just recently (shes into drugs, lost custody if her kids.. basically we dont see eye to eye and fight about it a lot) Anyhow... I was planning on picking her as my MOH so I wouldnt hurt anyones feelings.. but thinking about it, I really dont even trust her to show up.. Her feelings wouldnt be hurt if I didnt choose her as my MOH but I'm having trouble picking out of the other 4 girls in the wedding... Im equally close with each one of them! So my question... would it totally weird if I just didnt choose... They can just all be Brides Maids (or Maid of Honor)... and they can each have little jobs to help out just like a MOH would (with planning) They all really wanna help anyway so I figure this could get them all involved.. Suggestions?!?!?!? Thanks!!

mbcdefg

Yes, it's fine not to have a Maid of Honor. Call the all Bridesmaids and be done with it. That will probably be easiest and plenty of brides do it. You're not alone. But you're incorrect that the MOH has jobs and must help with planning. The MOH and bridesmaids will help with planning IF THEY WANT TO. Not because they HAVE to. If they volunteer to help out, it's fine to say, "I could use some help stuffing invitations" or "Maybe you could come shoe shopping with me." If they do not volunteer, then don't assign tasks. The MOH's "duties" are to stand next to you at the ceremony, hold the ring, hold your bouquet, fluff out your train during the ceremony, sign the license and maybe give a toast. So if you want to split up those things between them, that's absolutely fine. But don't start assigning them planning tasks, because that's not the MOH's job.

Linds21

Thank you! And yea, that's what I meant by they all want to help. I have NO idea what Im doing.. honestly I wish I had a ton of money and could pay someone to do it for me! Im not good with any of this, but they are all coming together and helping me big time! But thanks again for your response! It was really helpful

banana468

Honestly, I think it's fine to pick someone other than the sister as MOH if you want.However if you want all BMs that's fine too.

ffmaid

Sounds liek you have 5 Bm and no MOH

pinkstripe

I am not planning on having a MOH. I don't have any sisters, and love all my friends and couldn't imagine having to choose between them.

CTGirl30

I have 4 BMs - no MOH designation for anyone. It's perfectly fine to do that.

megk8oz

A friend of ours got married last summer, FI was in the wedding. The groom had 4 GMs, and in his opinion all of his GMs were his "Best Man". So he instead of choosing one to give the title to, he explained how he felt to everybody, and then gave each one of them something special to do that day: the one did a reading during the ceremony, another held the rings, FI was asked to give a toast, and the last one escorted the MOH down the aisle and into the reception. You don't necessarily have to go so far as to find something special for everybody to do, but there really is nothing wrong with not having an MOH and just explaining that you love everybody equally, and couldn't possibly choose one over another.

megk8oz

Retread, I didn't mean that she HAD to do it the way of giving each one something to do, I was just saying that was how FI's friend, personally, chose to handle his "Best Man" situation. And the Best Man does normally give a toast, at least in the area I'm from, so its not like asking FI (As a member of their WP) to do so was incredibly unheard of to us.I was really just trying to make the point that OP isn't required to pick a MOH.