African American Weddings
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I'm not signing anything

I talked to my FI this evening and I told him that as long as the clauses of this document don't come from HIS heart and soul then I am not signing anything except for a marriage license.
Enough is enough, I've been very timid and passive with his parents out of respect for them and they continue to disrespect me over and over again. I'm done being the sweet and respectful girl, if they have a problem with me then they will have to deal with it on their own. I'm not taking their crap anymore.
My FI knows how stressed his parents make me. When I know I have to even be near them my body physically freezes up and I get physically sick. I'm done and tired of it.

I have never liked the idea of a prenup and they have made a possibly simple document into a legal battle with me. My FI knows I am willing to fight them with my lawyer. They make it seem like I come from this poor family with nothing...they have no clue what is in my bank account and at the moment it is more than what my FI currently has access to. They think I want to trick him into marrying me and then having kids with him so when the event comes that his parents die and he gets his inheritance that I will just divorce him and take what I can. They watch too much TV. They have this horrible view of American women (especially those of African decent).

I'm done and they will be dealing with a totally different person from now on,
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"Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
Janae & Olivier


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Re: I'm not signing anything

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    edited December 2011
    I am so happy to hear you have decided to stand up to his parents.  I was worried you were going to bow down to their demands.  No one deserves this type of treatment/disrespect and to think you physically get sick and freeze up when you're around them it not good.  "Them nuts" need to know you're a strong minded person and there is no more walking all over you.  I am just curious to know what your FI thought about all this.  Is he willing to tell "them nuts" he is not having a prenup or if so its not going to be drawn up as they so demanded?

    Again as I stated in my previous post below "them nuts" is trying to break and destroy you'll relationship.  However, it's up to you'll to stand up a proclaim you'll love at all cost.  Good Luck!
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    edited December 2011
    Good for you! I'm glad you're standing up to them.
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    edited December 2011
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    cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    So happy to hear this girl, stay strong!  This marriage is about you and FI, so as long as y'all are good then that's what counts. 
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    tyboydtyboyd member
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    edited December 2011
    GOOD FOR YOU! I'm glad this is the decision you made!
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    edited December 2011
    stay strong! so proud that your standing up to them

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    edited December 2011
    RIGHT ON!!!! (fist in the air)...  I'm proud of you for standing up to those people.  :)
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    I married my soulmate on 10-3-10 :)
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    edited December 2011
    Good for you.  Be empowered.
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    edited December 2011

    Thats good you are putting your foot down. His parents are dead wrong!

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    amberlynnedamberlynned member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm very happy to read this! This is definitely step 1 in the right direction!!!

    They may now threaten to remove you FI from their will and sendit all to the cousin now (you two should be prepared for this possibility) but I say GOOD FOR YOU!!!

    Take your life back & your relationship back!
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    M1ssJM1ssJ member
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    edited December 2011

    So proud of you!!!! I've been following your posts and I am glad you're finally standing up to them. Does you FI share your sentiments?

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_im-not-signing-anything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:13704380-1d36-482c-912b-66f19cf2c333Post:447ee538-dbdf-4b25-99ea-4bfed50325c3">Re: I'm not signing anything</a>:
    [QUOTE]So proud of you!!!! I've been following your posts and I am glad you're finally standing up to them. Does you FI share your sentiments?
    Posted by M1ssJ[/QUOTE]

    Thanks ladies!
    He agrees with my decision and we know as soon as they learn of my choice they will not be happy at all...just waiting on the firestorm.
    Photobucket
    "Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
    Janae & Olivier


    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_im-not-signing-anything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:13704380-1d36-482c-912b-66f19cf2c333Post:9bd3edab-fc89-4c5e-b537-68bf5d38115b">Re: I'm not signing anything</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm very happy to read this! This is definitely step 1 in the right direction!!! They may now threaten to remove you FI from their will and sendit all to the cousin now (you two should be prepared for this possibility) but I say GOOD FOR YOU!!! Take your life back & your relationship back!
    Posted by amberlynned[/QUOTE]

    We discussed that possibility today. My FI is fine because apparently in Belgium you can refuse your children theri inheritance, but only half of it. By law when you die if you refuse then your child still gets half. My FI could care less if he gets anything or not.
    Photobucket
    "Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
    Janae & Olivier


    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    I'm glad a read a few posts up...I'm so glad you're not signing it, and I hope that your FI will continue to stand with you, particularly once the parents find out you're not on-board with the prenup.  I wish you guys well.
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