I'm still confused about tipping!

seblagg

Can any recent OMH's (or people in the know) help?Here's what I haveDJ Jeff Hill - Owns his own business (no tip??)DJ's Assistant (tip??)Photographer Kate McElwee - Owns her own business (no tip??)Photog's Assistant (tip??)DOC - Owns her own business (no tip??)DOC's Assistant (tip??)And if I do tip... how much? I had always hear that if someone owns their own business, you don't have to tip them, and frankly, I'm starting to run low on cash. Thoughts?

seblagg

That's so funny, I didn't even have that person on my list! I guess I should add... sigh... that's good to know though. I'm so petrified of offending someone, but I've also paid a lot of money for all the vendors already and my checking account is hurting with only 6 days to go.

Tygirljojo

**piggybacking to see replies**

cupcakepirate

I'd make sure that some sort of gratuity isn't included in any of your contracts, because if it is, then there is no reason to tip. I agree also with waiting until the wedding is over to tip them based on services provided. I tipped my photog and kind of wished I hadn't because I was totally not pleased with the end product. (But I'm sure with Kate, that wouldn't be an issue...) As far as percentages go, most ppl do 15%, even though it's 'proper' to tip 20%. But if grat/services charges are included they are going to be anywhere from 18 to 22%.

seblagg

I've read through all my contracts and there were no gratuities included except for with my venue. I know that I have to tip my venue coordinator and service staff, and that's already taken care of. We have a bartender who I will tip. The caterer didn't include a tip or "service charge" so I know I need to provide tips to the catering staff, but since it's buffet there will only be two or three of them.It's really the assistants that I'm concerned about. I believe each of my vendors will bring an assistant with them, and I just don't know how much, how to go about it. I'm really stressed about it for some reason. I like the idea of sending something after the wedding, but with assistants, I don't know that I could do that, because right now I don't even know their names.This is the least clear issue with the wedding. Every website I read says something different, grr!!Thanks for you tips (no pun intended) girls!

Tygirljojo

So, wait, now I'm confused because my catering contract has something listed as "Gratuity (service costs)"  does that mean tips are included already?

seblagg

Tygirl, yes, I believe so. A lot of caterers do that. Mine did not.

cupcakepirate

Yep Jolene, Grat/service charge = tip. It's lame. I know. Especially since the servers don't see any of it usually. I've worked with one caterer that just paid servers out of the tip pool, but didn't pay them anything else. So that maybe why they do that.

Jessie's Boy

I'm gonna be completely honest and tell you that we did not tip anyone.  We paid for our wedding ourselves and were really strapped for cash and could barely pay off the contracts let alone anything extra.Do I feel bad? In some cases, yes, especially since we had some pretty amazing vendors but it is what is and we didn't have anything extra to spare.

Tygirljojo

Acutally, yes, that's the part that kind of bugs me.  I waited tables for a few years so I'm about making sure the tip gets to the people who earned it, but I'm also about tipping when it's been EARNED.  What a screwed up industry.

koosh ball

The photographer assistant makes anywhere from 0-200 dollars (usually) to be the assistant the entire day. Please please tip them...

seblagg

Koosh, do you have an idea of how much. I certainly want to try and tip everyone who deserves to be tipped. I'm just clueless at this point.

koosh ball

I would say anywhere from 30-50. I think I did 60 for my wedding but that was just because we didn't have change. The photo assistant usually does editing after the wedding so that is a lot of work for pennies. /off soap box.

KST_

Champagne - I can't believe he had the balls to ask you BEFORE the wedding for their tips?!UGH! FI and I differ on this because he worked as a waiter for 5 years so he always tips (even the time the service was so lousy I felt the urge for the first time to skip out on the bill - 45 minutes and she NEVER checked on us. I needed more water, wanted dessert, coudln't even get our bill. She was NOT busy and I would see her walk out of her way to avoid our table of 2 to get to a table behind us in the section.)In general, my rules are tip AFTER the service so you can see if they even earned it!

sarack

I hate that tip is included in the costs already too for the caterer. Lame!My doc's own the business together, do I tip? Also, I didn't realize that the photog assist didn't get paid that much.. I definately feel like we need to tip them!DJ Jeff Hill has an assistant??

Tygirljojo

KS - I'm surprised your FI tips even with bad service.  I'm picky because I waited tables.  I'm patient when I see they're swamped, but if they did a lazy/lousy job, nope.  Good service, I insist we tip well (~20% + up).  Average is 15-20%.  Crappy service (like we've encountered a couple times) I've tipped $1.00.  Yup.  Just so they know that I was fully aware of the tip amount I left.  I've actually been out with friends before and encountered horrid service and we tipped a penny.  Ha!  Bastard deserved it.  

missmango

haha tygirl... that's so funny. we tipped someone 2 cents before. we were giving her our two cents on a crappy service! we had horrible service while everyone else around us was getting a good one. i understand a bad day, but to single us out was a bad idea.

missmango

oh... and to answer the topic at hand. we didn't really tip anyone. it was my understanding that if a person owned their own business, they didn't need a tip. all the profit goes to them anyway, so why do they need anymore. and besides, we were already low on the cash flow. the only ones we tipped were our church and priest (technically a donation), the servers during our ceremony, and the gratuity/service charge our venue charged for catering.

KST_

Tygirl - THANK YOU! Good to know it's just my FI who's stupid about always tipping, even when service is atrocious and they don't have a legitimate enough excuse (like their section is swamped).

seblagg

Sarack - Re Jeff Hill. I'm still trying to find that out. The contract stated that we should add 2 meals on one for him and one for an assistant, but I'm not sure he will bring an assistant. Ours is a relatively small wedding...