African American Weddings

Can't stand haters!!

Ok this is what happened. I haven't talked to my BFF in about two weeks. She was in a real funky mood (her and her man were having problems). When this happens she just shuts down. We also have been distant because she is a hater and everything about the wedding she would say something negative so I just stopped talking to her about it. We both work at the same part-time job on the weekends. This weekend she was all bubbly and said my FI texted her and asked her was she still alive because we hadn't seen her. My alarms immediatedly went up when she said my FI texted her and he didnt tell me about it. So I bring it up to the FI, "BFF says you texted her to see if she was alive?" He immediately was pissed and said she texted him about a surprise bridal shower (I had no idea) someone else was planning for me and feels she even mentioned the text so I would confront him and ruin the surprise. FI was like well now you know, act surprised. He feels she did this on purpose because she wasn't the one planning it. Im like (ok halos off ladies) that's some real f-ed up ish! If you say my man was texting you, you know damn well I am going to ask him about it and he would tell me the real deal. Damn haters I swear they make me sick. Oh well, at least i'm having a shower yay!! lol
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Re: Can't stand haters!!

  • ARE YOU SURE SHE IS A BFF??? Oh I would have had my halo off too! Good luck with this one Soror....
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:9e7805f5-c853-4e2d-99e3-5ae4a8e76f70">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<font color="#000000">ARE YOU SURE SHE IS A BFF</font>??? Oh I would have had my halo off too! Good luck with this one Soror....
    Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

    I use the term loosely and she is a Soror also!
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  • dANG. She did that on purpose and thats MESSED up! You know misery like company. because she ain't happy she don't want no one else to be. which is extremely SELFISH. What a sh*tty thing to do though, ruining your surprise.
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  • I don't think this is somone you should still be considering your BFF, no matter how loosely it is used. That was really effed  up!! I am with your FI on this one, I think she was being a heifer and did that on purpose. OAN: I know that people have their own lives and such, but I would be put off by the fact that she completely shuts down whenever her and her man are having problems. I mean, what if they have issues on the week or day of the wedding? Is she going to get MIA then too??? IJS.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:e698ab04-5857-472a-b996-02e1c68848c4">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think this is somone you should still be considering your BFF, no matter how loosely it is used. That was really effed  up!! I am with your FI on this one, I think she was being a heifer and did that on purpose. OAN: <strong>I know that people have their own lives and such, but I would be put off by the fact that she completely shuts down whenever her and her man are having problems.</strong> <strong>I mean, what if they have issues on the week or day of the wedding? Is she going to get MIA then too??? IJS.
    </strong>Posted by Dannitra01[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with this. 

    I dont know if there is anything about some1 that does things like that I'd call "bestie" matterial...smh
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  • Just curious but why does she have your FI number in the first place?
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • Like they say....Weddings and funerals either bring out the best or worst in people.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:5955d0fd-3f27-46f0-9263-7a78894a5df2">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just curious but why does she have your FI number in the first place?
    Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

    She had it from years ago when she threw me a birthday party.
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  • clearly she is not your soror just a member of your sorority....

    i say you crack her head to the white meat... oops the southside of chicago just came out lol 

    weddings and funerals seem to bring out the worse in people.... smh 

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  • My mom, also a Soror Fall 74, told me on the day I crossed "Baby every Soror is NOT your Friend and every Friend is NOT your Soror." and Lord it rings true!! That was a sh!tty thing of her to do.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:f5ac1412-f0a1-4b06-bd4e-c5ca99f7216e">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Can't stand haters!! : I use the term loosely and she is a Soror also!
    Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:8fa874a4-caf3-43c8-833e-bdd01decf85c">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]clearly she is not your soror just a member of your sorority.... i<strong> say you crack her head to the white meat... oops the southside of chicago just came out lol</strong>  weddings and funerals seem to bring out the worse in people.... smh 
    Posted by thedivav[/QUOTE]

    LMAO!
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  • Uh she needs to "get her life"! Cause bayyyybayyy! That was not cool. And I agree with diva, bust that head! LOL! You don't be calling my man just on GP! What the BLEEP is wrong with you! Chin check her!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:72c39e0e-54cb-4549-aa67-056827529554">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Like they say....Weddings and funerals either bring out the best or worst in people.
    Posted by shabuka1[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>THIS!!! smh...</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:8fa874a4-caf3-43c8-833e-bdd01decf85c">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]clearly she is not your soror just a member of your sorority.... i say you crack her head to the white meat... oops the southside of chicago just came out lol  weddings and funerals seem to bring out the worse in people.... smh 
    Posted by thedivav[/QUOTE]

    <div>ALL OF THIS DIVA!!!!!!</div>
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  • LOL.. i'm over here crackin up at all these posts!..

    I agree with the sista's though.. that ain't no friend mama!.. I had to let go of someone who I "labeled" a good/close friend.. she was even in my wedding... then I found out that she was texting my FI (now hubby).. and she thought he wasn't gonna tell me nothin!... oh.. and hunni pie was caught (by my family) leaning all up on my man at our bridal shower!... ummm.. needless to say the females on both sides (including my pastor's daughter) was ready to hem her up!

    And on top of that she bowed outta the wedding 3 WEEKS before.. lying about money issues.. when come to find out that heifa booked trips to Jamaica, PR, and Vegas RIGHT after our conversation!... that was the LAST straw.. Oh.. I got rid of her REAL quick!.. she didn't even know what was comin...lol I didn't and still don't need chicks like that in my life!

    Either beat her to "da white meat" or let her be... I vote to get it crackin!...lol

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:72c39e0e-54cb-4549-aa67-056827529554">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Like they say....Weddings and funerals either bring out the best or worst in people.
    Posted by shabuka1[/QUOTE]

    <div>This!</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:0fb3798a-482a-4388-a4a9-42ca075447fe">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mom, also a Soror Fall 74, told me on the day I crossed <strong>"Baby every Soror is NOT your Friend and every Friend is NOT your Soror." </strong>and Lord it rings true!! That was a sh!tty thing of her to do. In Response to Re: Can't stand haters!! :
    Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]

    My pro said this same exact thing to me. It still rings in my head!

    I cant believe that she went there though...yikes!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_cant-stand-haters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:c77771a3-3c96-4907-9c52-0d00f3802bcbPost:0fb3798a-482a-4388-a4a9-42ca075447fe">Re: Can't stand haters!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My mom, also a Soror Fall 74, told me on the day I crossed "Baby <strong>every Soror is NOT your Friend and every Friend is NOT your Soror</strong>." and Lord it rings true!! That was a sh!tty thing of her to do. In Response to Re: Can't stand haters!! :
    Posted by CaseynMike[/QUOTE]


    Now THAT is the truth! 

    It's a shame when you have to avoid conversations about happy life occurrences because some people are bitter.  It became exhausting to me, so rather than trying to remember what was OK to say around who, I just cut off all the haters.  Unfortunately, that means I have very few female friends, but my life is less stressful for sure. 

    I'm sorry you're going through this, Soror!  Look at it this way though.....at least now you see her for what she is and can decide accordingly which "box" to put her in.  And the bright side is that you have a shower to look forward to!  Yayyyy! 
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