C+P: Who's my daddy?

mrsconn23

I think who her kids call daddy is the least of her issues. Touchy naming issue --> I have three children from my first marriage. I also have two children from my second marriage. My second husband always went by James with the older kids, not dad or daddy, although the older kids would refer to him as their dad. We thought it was important to let them choose the way that they referred to him and it was never a big deal. We were together for 8 years, and the older kids were quite young back then, but somehow they just never called him dad directly. I am engaged now to a really amazing man. My older kids have started calling him dad periodically, but more like they are testing the waters. They also refer to him as Robert. When referring to him to the babies, who are nearing 2, we exclusively call him Robert. The only person that we call daddy around them is James, who is very active in their lives. Alice, one of my babies, has started calling Robert Daddy. A lot. In fact, the only way that she refers to him or talks to him is using Daddy. She has never called him Robert. Charlotte doesn't talk much yet so she hasn't called him anything. We are not sure what to do at this point. We feel like it is very important to respect the relationship that James has with his daughters. However, it's also just a fact of life that by living with us, and taking care of the girls day in and day out, Robert is also assuming a dad role and will presumably be very close to them, particularly since they are so young now. In fact, he is the ONLY adult other than James and I (and their nanny) who they will even go near due to stranger danger. They have pretty much loved him since they laid eyes on him. So, the question is... what do we do? Let Alice call Robert Daddy but refer to him as Robert? Correct her and refer to him as Robert? Start referring to him as Daddy to them? What have others done?  Mom to Jared (11), Camden & Emilia (twins - 9), Alice & Charlotte (twins - turning 2 on 12/29/09!), gearing up for IVF #3 in April/May, and getting remarried on July 17, 2010!

~~Busy.~~

I need a chart to follow this.

fishgirl77

I'll second the chart and add that I need a timeline.

mrsconn23

Her oldest is 11, so all of this husband switcheroo-ing has gone on in less than a decade. 

jepm1129

Hmm...I'm sensing a pattern:  get married, have kids, get divorced, start over.  Robert needs to run while he still can because it sounds like he'll be out on the street once she has his  kid(s) anyway.   

fishgirl77

It's actually the last bit that raised my eyebrow.  In two years she did the following: had her second set of twins, presumably divorced, met future husband #3, got engaged, decided for IVF.  Not necessarily in that order.She's been...busy.

awesome-sauce

Mom to Jared (11), Camden & Emilia (twins - 9), Alice & Charlotte (twins - turning 2 on 12/29/09!), gearing up for IVF #3 in April/May, and getting remarried on July 17, 2010!So much WTF. She should add aspiration: next Octomom

**O-Face**

Mary goes ROUND.

LnR70707

methinks someone is using alimony to pay for IVF.

baconsmom

Please tell me we can convince her to call Dr. Laura with this nonsense. That would be the call of the century right there. Those poor children.