A dog update and proof that I'm horrible

PMeg819

DH took Dog to oncologist yesterday (GBCK- no word on quality of waiting room). She's having surgery today where they will remove the mass and about 5 cm of her jaw. That was really her only option, otherwise the mass would have continued to grow deforming her jaw and preventing her from eating which would starve her to death. The vet estimated that if we did nothing, we had about 6 months left. They said that if they get everything removed, then we are done with treatment and she will live a normal life. If they don't get everything- then it's daily chemotherapy and the place they do chemo at is about a hour and a half from us. DH and I were like, not an option- we just can't do that and we know how sick she'd be from it. So we are really really hoping they get everything during surgery today.

Here's where I'm horrible. Because she's having surgery, DH may have to stay home during vacation. I'm not mad at the dog, I'm not mad at DH. I will partially blame hormones on this. But I'm upset regardless. It's part money- we'll be out the $400 for his seat (although today's surgery is about 10x that). It's part sad he'll miss out on our fun. I'm dreading traveling alone with DS since he can be a handful. We're doing a bif family photoshot wiht my mom's family- all 30+ of us which we haven't done in like 15 years. I want DH there for that. Again- totally selfish and it makes me more upset to think that I'm being an ahole. I mean, what the hell else would we do?

mrsconn23

*vibes* that they get it all.

You don't have anyone that can dog-sit for you while you're gone? 

  Talk about a rock and a hard place.

Wzz

i don't think this is aholish. if you think about it, you have to be angry because of what is going on with the dog, so maybe it's a little misplaced anger you have that your dog is having this surgery.

GBCK

I hope they get it all--because, yeah, I'd be w/ you on this.

I'd be upset too.  You're resigned but upset, seems reasonable and non assy to me.

Heffalump

Don't we always tell people that you feel how you feel?  I mean, you're not throwing a tantrum, you're just disappointed, which is normal.  I'd be disappointed, too, so let's hope he doesn't end up having to miss the trip.

Also, I did not know this until recently, but apparently a lot of dogs tolerate chemo really well--better than people.  But the three hour daily round trip would be a dealbreaker for us, regardless.

I'm really sorry about your dog.

MinM

Some times we are placed in no win situations, which is what this sounds like. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings. All of them.

PMeg819

They did say in a week she's probably going to be back to normal- in fact that if her pain is well controlled she'll be at 75% in about 2 days. So we may be able to have a house sitter come. But we'll see.

ReturnOfKuus

Not a bit of this is unreasonable.

VarunaTT

I don't think you're horrible.  It is what it is, y'know?  I'd think you were horrible if you let the mass grow and went on vacation to take care of it when y'all got back.

Re: the chemo.  Libby was never sick from it except for the very first shot which was some super duper special kick-cancer-in-the-pants type thing.  That one was rough.  However, all the others were NBD for her and she always came out bright eyed and bushy-tailed from having fun at the vets (they spoiled the heck out of her there).

Libby had daily chemo, but it was in a tablet form.  We had to wear gloves to give it to her, but it wasn't a daily shot.  The trip to the vets was once per week for the big shot.  It already sounds like your pooch has a different cancer, but it might be worth clarifying if the daily chemo is actually a shot or can be delivered at home.

PMeg819

V- it's definitely daily, injectable chemo. They would also possibly be giving radiation therapy concurrently too, hence the drive.

6again

I hope the doggy does well.  I don't think your being an asshole about the trip either.

tawillers

I hope she does well in surgery and something will work out with the trip.

AuntFlo

I don't think you're horrible - but here's my black hearted thought of the day.  "Reason number 8,521,001 to not have a pet."

VarunaTT

Pmeg, that sucks.

I'll keep you guys in my thoughts that surgery is the awesome.  Really, they wouldn't have presented it as an option if they didn't hope it would work, so there's that.  all of the vet oncologists were horrifyingly (appreciated later, but not right then) honest with us, even when I literally burst into Bugsy Bunny tears on one of them.