This week's co-worker gems

VarunaTT

So, either office manager never spoke to her or she's as stupid as I think she is.  I'm going with both.  I just print off the messages and also send them to my personal e-mail.  I don't know why, I just feel like I need to keep a record.

Monday's e-mail was a "joke" I refuse to even post.  The punchline was basically that it was unknown if a gay person was murdered or committed suicide.  I had to go to the bathroom for this one, it really upset me in all honesty and I vacillated between crying and wanting to punch her face.

Today's gem is a picture of a woman and female child in full black burqa with full black trashbags on either side of them.  The caption is, "My mistake.  I told her she had 3 beautiful children.  She didn't have to threaten me with a bomb, it was an honest mistake".

I don't even know where in the hell people get shi!t like this.

tawillers

At this point, I'd go directly to her desk and tell her to stop sending them to you.  Management isn't going to do anything and sending an email to her isn't going to work. 

**O-Face**

WTF is the only response that seems worthy of typing.

mrsconn23

This is so beyond inappropriate for a work enviornment.  If you're going to the bathroom to collect yourself after an email from her, it's creating a hostile work environment.  WTF?

zsazsa-stl

This goes WAY beyond you just being fussy about e-mail.  This woman is passing along very hateful material.  She needs to be confronted.  It's your job as a human being.

hmonkey

considering where you work, this has the potential to be very embarrassing should this become public.  hammer down protocol, yo.

VarunaTT

It's not that i disagree with any of you at all.

After having been fired, laid off and now the only one with a job, I simply can't risk retaliation of any sort.  She's been here 34 years.  I've been here 4 months.  The office manager is someone that I think is probably a sexist and I can see the "get rid of the troublemaker" mentality all over this place.  Getting fired/asked to leave from a 3rd job will ruin any chance of re-establishing my career in this small city.  I can't afford it in multiple ways.  That bothers me morally a lot (and the gay joke just hit way too close to home which is why I went to the restroom), but in this instance I have to be smarter and just deal.  Obviously no one else is complaining.

So, I'll print off my stuff, document and use it at a later time when it's appropriate.  I just needed to vent to people that I know find it as disgusting as I do.

mrsconn23

That sucks V.  Like really a lot, but I can understand what you're saying.   Suckage.

hmonkey

i'm sorry, yo.  this really sucks.

zsazsa-stl

Can you see her distribution list?  Is she sending this stuff to senior people?

6fsn

That is absolutely terrible.  I don't understand how people come up with this crap and then someone else think it's funny enough to pass along.  People suck.

I wondered if there were other people on the distribution list too.  Does OM know what these emails contain?  You'd think even if they didn't see the issue personally they would see the can of worms it opens.

People suck.

VarunaTT

Zsa, it's always blank.  I've found ways to casually ask people if they've received forwards from her (she also likes to foward puppy pictures and godly sayings) and they have, so I can only assume everything is going out to everyone (ETA: everyone being support staff.  I hope she's not sending it to the attorneys and they're going along with it).

I know she doesn't even know how hateful this stuff is.  To her, it really is funny and a joke and she's not racist or religiously intolerant.  Nooooo, this is just funny, how could it personally offend anyone.

I managed to find a way to slip into casual conversation about gay BFF, so I'm hoping passive agressively the gay jokes will stop.

I do have somewhat of a gameplan, but it's contingent on getting a good yearly review.  And I won't be taking it to office manager again, it'll go to managing partner at that point.  That is the correct procedure if I don't feel office manager is responding to my needs.  But if I get a good yearly review, I"m doing major casework for 3 partners, so I feel like my back will be protected at that point.  ETA: that isn't coming out right about being a secretary, but basically in hierachy of jobs, she's below me, even with her seniority.

6fsn

I wonder if that attorney knows what she's sending out.  I can't imagine they would find it appropriate.  Still sucks you need a game plan, but it sounds like you have a good one.

hmonkey

game plan sounds solid.  godspeed, little doodle.

L_Woods

Retaliation is just as illegal as what she's doing (well, illegal may not be the right word but discriminatory sure is). Document everything. Tell HR when you feel comfortable, but honestly documenting/keeping a record and then keeping a record of everything that happens after if there is some sort of retaliation is the best thing you can do. Hell, I'll get my bar card in whatever state you're in just to represent you if that was ever necessary.

VarunaTT

Ah, L, you're sweet.  Thank you.  I will take everyone's advice too.