Forewarning: emotions are really high right now. I'm probably going to be overdramatic. Also there are many good qualities about my fiance and he is a wonderful amazing person that I love lots outside of all of this lol
My fiance is the cheapest person I've ever met in my life. He also can be very serious and doesn't know how to lighten up. It's been fine until we got engaged. He proposed in September and I've been planning for an October '11 wedding. The entire time he fights with me about everything "you have to pay for the church???? Why???" "Flowers are HOW MUCH why can't YOU just do them the day of?" "I can't believe a photographer charges that, what the hell is he doing besides taking pictures" etc etc etc. This of course happens when I get really excited about meeting with said vendor and he cuts me down. It never fails. And then he asks why I'm not excited about planing the wedding.
I've been looking forward to my wedding my entire life and the whole thing has been nothing but an f-ing nightmare. There have been few times where he's actually been excited about it or has not gotten on my case about it. I'm not complaining that he doesn't want to be involved (the less he's involved the better IMO), I'm complaining that he is making this the most miserable wedding planning experience I could ever have. I have been working my ass off trying to find the cheapest but still tasteful options and have been pretty damn successful if I must say so myself and he acts like I'm not doing anything at all. He sure has lots of opinions but never comes through when he says he'll call people or go visit places.
Here's what's causing all of this stress::
- his family is huge and we are planning on inviting ~150 people, he has over 40 cousins for example and they're close so it's really hard to cut them out. Most of the invited people are HIS FAMILY!
- We live in the Chicago area (IE everything is $$$$)
- I've found awesome options (under $2000 for a florist for exactly what I want? In Chicago? For 15 tables? Um...yes that's pretty amazing!l)
- We are paying for the majority of the wedding, my parents have been hit hard by the economy and have a kid in college, and his parents are paying the same amount but also are paying for the honeymoon
- With the way things are going we're going to be paying at least $10,000. I personally am not worried about it at all but he keeps overexaggerating and saying we're going to be paying $20,000 out of pocket, which is absurd and is not the case. But he has that number stuck in his head for whatever reason and will not listen to reason, and seems to forget the fact that we will be getting back some of it too.
I don't know what to do. I'm sick of the fights. This stress has been affecting my health. I'm constantly breaking out. All of my muscles are stiff. Then I have my mom harping on me about him and how he's acting and it's the biggest nightmare. I'm not asking for anything extraordinary, I'm not getting upset because I can't have a bazillion orchids with flashy lights everywhere and caviar on every plate. I want a traditional wedding with our friends and family and for some reason he will not stop flipping out about the cost of everything. It's like he went into this thinking that it would be $100.
He wants to get married on a beach now. The problem with that is that we're catholic so the church won't recognize the marriage. Plus, I have been planning for an October wedding am I just supposed to stop what I'm doing, cancel everything and start over? Not be able to see and celebrate with all of our family and friends?
Then, he'll switch and when I suggested 3 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen he said "3? I don't want some chintzy wedding" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Make up your mind! He is quick to give his opinion on anything and everything but doesn't help with anything at all whatsoever.
I seriously cannot handle this wedding planning anymore. This is beyond the kind of stress I was expecting I can't believe what a nightmare this is. I lose sleep over this stress, I've cried too many times, I'm almost at the point where I pull a runaway bride and run off and leave this stupid wedding behind me.
I really needed to vent. I don't even know if I have any questions. I don't even know what to expect in terms of responses. I know I made him sound like a big jerk and right now I really don't care but he really isn't he's just a wedding planning nightmare. I just needed to vent really bad. I don't even really feel better.
