Hors d' oeuvres reception?

jvandamme

Me and my fiance are planning to serve hors d' oeuvres and desserts at our evening (after dinner time) wedding next July. Being that people won't be spending an hour at their tables to eat a sit down dinner, do we need to be sure that there is significant entertainment all night or do you think that people will naturally mingle? What are your thoughts on not serving a full meal?? Thanks!

futuremrsdawes

It really depends on what time your ceremony/reception is.  I think most people will expect a meal after 4pm. If you opt to not do a full meal I would somehow note that on the reception card or invitation.  As far as entertainment goes adults are pretty capable of mingling on their own.  If you opt for a DJ that will probably keep people entertained, and depending on the crowd dancing. Also, will you be serving alcohol?  If so, I would recommend you also serve dinner or at least some REALLY hearty hors d' oeuvres to soak up the booze. Good Luck!

mbcdefg

I would have, at the very least, some background music. Whether that's from a DJ, a small music ensemble or an iPod is up to you. I would think about your crowd. Like PP said, in my area people usually expect a meal at a wedding no matter what time it is, so definitely note on the invitations that there will be a "Cocktail reception to follow." I also wouldn't automatically figure that people won't want to dance. Make sure to have seats for everyone.

lyndausvi

People will naturally mingle, I would not worry about that. What are your thoughts on not serving a full meal??I'm fine without a  sit down meal, but I'm one that thinks you should have enough hors d'oeuvres for a meal.  My crowd excepts a meal.  They also eat late, so 8pm would still be meal time to them. Even if it said  'hors d'oeuvres reception' they would still assume the food would be a more substantial (not just a veggie and cheese tray').But only you know your crowd.

cwilliams01sc

I'm from Charleston, SC and around here, serving heavy hors d'oeuvres at all times is the norm, but I know that's not the same for everywhere. I had never ever been to a sit-down dinner for a wedding until I went to my cousin's wedding in NY. Personally, I don't think that needs to be noted on the invitation anywhere. That's not really something you should do in terms of proper ettiquette. If you're really worried that people will expect a sit-down dinner, just spread it via word of mouth. You'll definitely need to provide some type of entertainment for the night, though. Trust me, having gone to at least 15 weddings with heavy hors d' oeuvres, people won't mingle like you'd expect them to if there's really nothing to do except eat. Have fun with it -- get a band, have some tall cocktail table set out for people to mingle, and make sure there's a good area for people to dance. Personally, I love having a wedding with no sit-down dinner. It breaks all of the awkward tension and people can come and go as they please. You also won't have to worry about sitting crazy Aunt Sophie next to drunken Uncle Bob. One less headache if you ask me!

ks3pink

I totally agree with PP.  I have only been to one sit down reception in my life and if you ask me that's just expecting too much!  Guests should realize that weddings are expensive so finger foods as we call them around here should be just fine no matter the time! 10/10/10 Bride!!  

laurening

What are your thoughts on not serving a full meal?? Where I'm from, people assume dinner with a wedding reception so unless that's not typical in your area and ALL your guests are local and don't expect a full meal, I would definitely note that it's a cocktail reception on the invitation else you risk some hungry and cranky guests.For me personally, not serving a full meal is not an option. It's the way my family works - if you're hosting an event, and expecting people to take time to come, you have to feed them. Doesn't have to be fancy, but it has to be a meal. do we need to be sure that there is significant entertainment all night or do you think that people will naturally mingle?People don't need to be "entertained" but there should be some sort of background music. Silence doesn't promote a festive atmosphere. Typically, dancing is the entertainment so if you're not planning on a dance floor, the reception will be shorter. Think 2-2.5 hours as opposed to 5 hours when there is dinner and dancing. 

swans alive

What time is your wedding? Depending on your crowd, dinnertime can be as early as 5 or as late as 8. Also, hors d'oeuvres receptions are not necessarily much cheaper than a dinner, keep that in mind. What are you planning on serving? What alcohol are you having? If you are serving alcohol, please make sure that some of these appetizers are fairly hearty (i.e., not just a fruit or veggie tray) to help counteract the alcohol. I think people will naturally mingle, don't worry about that. Please make sure you have a chair for every butt, though.

mbcdefg

I don't go to a wedding "expecting" a full meal because I think I deserve it. I go to a wedding expecting a full meal because that's the norm in my area. I would never, ever hold it against the couple if they chose not to serve a full meal at their reception. Not in principle, anyway. I WOULD be a bit annoyed if I didn't know in advance that there wouldn't be enough food ... because, again, since it's the norm to get a meal I probably wouldn't have eaten anything beforehand. I've gone to several parties and social gatherings where the time and setting of the party would suggest a meal, and yet there was only a few small trays of food. I'd sit there the whole time thinking to myself, "Geez, I wish I'd known it'd only be light appetizers so I could've eaten a sandwich beforehand," and there have been several times where FI and I have searched for a place to eat after we left the party before we were starving. So for the people who say that your guests don't need notice that there won't be a full meal, I would really reconsider. You're not a poor hostess to not serve a full meal, but at least give your guests the courtesy of a heads-up. And don't forget that some people are diabetic or prone to fainting on an empty stomach, so if that's the case then they should know to eat beforehand so they're not famished.

lyndausvi

I do not expect a full meal because I think I deserve it either.  My expectation comes from going to an average of one wedding a year for 35 years.  All but one wedding had a full meal regardless of time of day.  The only one that did not was a co-worker and they were outside my normal circle.That is also why I said it depends on your circle.   

duckie1905

What are your thoughts on not serving a full meal?? I don't expect a full meal necessarily but in my group of friends and my family it would be almost unheard of to only serve apps and not a sit down meal.  I've been to a few app only weddings and honestly, they never have enough food for everyone to make up for a meal.  I wouldn't mind so much if it was an off mealtime but if your reception starts between 4-8 I'm hoping you were kind enough to realize this is when most people would be eating dinner so your food must make up for that.  Especially if you are having an open bar, then, enough food becomes even more important.As for entertainment, background music is all that is really required.

jvandamme

Thanks ladies. Our ceremony will likely be at 7pm with reception around 8pm. I definitely do plan to make it known on the invitations, for sure. I will be having a dj at the event, so I think I'm pretty well taken care of. I guess it'll probably just be a shorter reception since there isn't that extra "eat a plated meal" time, but I'm ok with that. More time to dance and karaoke!Thanks for your advice! :-)