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Maybe I'm confused

I know a lot of people on here keep saying the reception is about the guests and is to thank the guests for coming but...... I'm having a reception to thank the guests for coming to the reception I am thanking them for coming to? I don't know, in my family/circle of friends we always viewed the reception as the time to celebrate the newly wed couple and wish them luck in their marriage. Now I am not saying that I am not going to be thankful for those who come to our reception because I most definitely will be, and I will most definitely thank those who come, I just don't agree that the reception is about the guests.
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Re: Maybe I'm confused

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    You're thanking them for coming to your wedding and witnessing it. Yes, the reception is about the guests because it's your gift to them.
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    I think its a little bit of both. The reception is to celebrate and have fun with the newlyweds, family and friends. However, a lot of people also view the reception as a time to thank the guest for traveling to the ceremony. For us, 95% of our guest list is from OOT so we really view the reception as a time to say thank you for coming to celebrate for us.
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    enbraunenbraun member
    First Comment
    I disagree,,, I think the reception is about celebrating the marriage!  The crappy $1 favors are about thanking the guests for coming :P
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:1a3432f5-06e5-4440-8d33-37dfec3effc7">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think its a little bit of both. The reception is to celebrate and have fun with the newlyweds, family and friends. However, a lot of people also view the reception as a time to thank the guest for traveling to the ceremony. For us, 95% of our guest list is from OOT so we really view the reception as a time to say thank you for coming to celebrate for us.
    Posted by brianabrad[/QUOTE]

    Yes I agree with this. Neither my fiance and I are originally from where we currently live so most of our guests will also be coming from out of town. I guess I kind of view the meal/drinks as a thank you for coming to celebrate our wedding with us while the reception is a celebration. Does this make sense? I am in no way trying to sound selfabsorbed because honestly, I am not looking forward to being the center of attention, I'm a generally shy person and when I am in the spotlight I clam up!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:fc1b5c43-7a0c-4a4d-9d34-2c92675696c7">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree,,, I think the reception is about celebrating the marriage!  The crappy $1 favors are about thanking the guests for coming :P
    Posted by enbraun[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry I'm not sure if you mean this seriously or sarcastically...... But we do plan on sending thank yous to everybody who signs our guest book whether they gave a gift or not, because we view them showing up as our gift.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:1ebfee61-8181-4bb7-95d4-0177a09ade78">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maybe I'm confused : Yes I agree with this. Neither my fiance and I are originally from where we currently live so most of our guests will also be coming from out of town. I guess I kind of view the meal/drinks as a thank you for coming to celebrate our wedding with us while the reception is a celebration. Does this make sense? I am in no way trying to sound selfabsorbed because honestly, I am not looking forward to being the center of attention, I'm a generally shy person and when I am in the spotlight I clam up!
    Posted by cbratthauer[/QUOTE]

    I think you might be stuck on terminology a little bit if that makes sense. Or maybe I'm confused but I typcailly view the "reception" as the meal and drinks. Not as seperate things.

    I would suggest you try and enjoy the day. No one will force you to be the center of attention anymore than you want to be. If you don't feel comfortable being in front of people maybe do some things to make sure that you aren't like a wedding party table mixed in with the others instead of a normal headtable at the front of the room. Just enjoy your day and ham it up the most you can!
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    I think the reception is generally a thank you for coming to the ceremony as well as a time where we'll celebrate with our families and friends.  The reason the concept of "reception as the thank you" gets tossed around a lot is because the reception really should be planned with the guests' comforts in mind (which  is really the case for any hosted event IMO).  That means the reception shouldn't be a string of things that you're doing just because you like them without regard for how it will go over with your guests. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:b0b4ae77-92ba-45c9-8814-e254284a5abb">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the reception is generally a thank you for coming to the ceremony as well as a time where we'll celebrate with our families and friends.  The reason the concept of "reception as the thank you" gets tossed around a lot is because the reception really should be planned with the guests' comforts in mind (which  is really the case for any hosted event IMO).  That means the reception shouldn't be a string of things that you're doing just because you like them without regard for how it will go over with your guests. 
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

    ding ding ding.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:b0b4ae77-92ba-45c9-8814-e254284a5abb">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think the reception is generally a thank you for coming to the ceremony as well as a time where we'll celebrate with our families and friends.  The reason the concept of "reception as the thank you" gets tossed around a lot is because the reception really should be planned with the guests' comforts in mind (which  is really the case for any hosted event IMO).  That means the reception shouldn't be a string of things that you're doing just because you like them without regard for how it will go over with your guests. 
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

    I tried explaining this to DF when we were picking the food selections for our cocktail hour and reception. lol!  He only wanted things that he liked (which is a problem because he doesn't eat seafood).  I told him he had to consider our guests. lol.

    I think it's meant to be for both reasons, to celebrate with you and also to thank them for sharing this special day with you.
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    I've never thought as a reception as a thank you to the guests -- to me, it's a party to celebrate the marriage. Of course you need to be a good host and conscious of your guests, but that's true any time you throw a party.
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    A reception, by definition, is a time to receive your guests.  This means thanking them for witnessing and celebrating your marriage (generally by providing food and entertainment and also taking time to personally say "thank you" to everyone, whether it be by receiving line or table visits). 

    The point of saying that the reception is a 'thank you' is to remind people that you need to be courteous to your guests and make sure they are properly hosted and have a good time celebrating with you.  Regardless of how you look at it, you are hosting a party, and being a good host means making sure your guests have a good time.

    The biggest issue where we remind people that the reception is a 'thank you' is when people want to have a ceremony for 300 people and then not have a reception at all.  That's extremely rude because you need to at the very least....you got it!  RECIVE YOUR GUESTS and THANK THEM for coming.  Whether that be with a 4 course dinner, open bar and dancing, or simply cake and punch...you need to take time to personally thank everyone for witnessing your wedding.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:114cf203-639d-46e4-8d02-0213dfc10eb5">Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know a lot of people on here keep saying the reception is about the guests and is to thank the guests for coming but...... I'm having a reception to thank the guests for coming to the reception I am thanking them for coming to? I don't know, in my family/circle of friends we always viewed the reception as the time to celebrate the newly wed couple and wish them luck in their marriage. Now I am not saying that I am not going to be thankful for those who come to our reception because I most definitely will be, and I will most definitely thank those who come, I just don't agree that the reception is about the guests.
    Posted by cbratthauer[/QUOTE]
    What was your point in posting this, other than to stir up "trouble?"<div>
    </div><div>And<font class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"> <span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:transparent;border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;" class="Apple-style-span">enbraun, why would you give a crappy favour? </span></span></font></div>


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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:e38e0911-41e6-47da-9d7b-d9d1770eb7fb">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Maybe I'm confused : What was your point in posting this, other than to stir up "trouble?" And   enbraun, why would you give a crappy favour? 
    Posted by jena.n.ross[/QUOTE]

    I wasn't trying to stir up trouble. I was looking for feedback on opinions on why people see the reception this way. My post was not rude or demeaning, I was just curious. Why would you post this when nobody seemed offended by my post, everybody was giving their honest opinions.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:1592ef66-f51e-430e-a909-5662d03f7b48">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maybe I'm confused : I wasn't trying to stir up trouble. I was looking for feedback on opinions on why people see the reception this way. My post was not rude or demeaning, I was just curious. Why would you post this when nobody seemed offended by my post,<strong> everybody was giving their honest opinions</strong>.
    Posted by cbratthauer[/QUOTE]

    Except for enbraun, I hope.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:faaf3d4f-1f85-4307-a4fd-a576146dcfa9">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't at all think it is a thank you to your guests....that is what Thank you cards are for later. When I planned my reception I didn't think oh what would my guests like to eat. I thought about what DH and I love. It is a celebration of the start of your marriage.
    Posted by LindsaymR[/QUOTE]

    The point of a reception is to receive your guests...so why the heck would you not care about what they'll like? That just makes you a terrible host.
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:faaf3d4f-1f85-4307-a4fd-a576146dcfa9">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't at all think it is a thank you to your guests....that is what Thank you cards are for later. When I planned my reception I didn't think oh what would my guests like to eat. I thought about what DH and I love. It is a celebration of the start of your marriage.
    Posted by LindsaymR[/QUOTE]

    <div>Is this always how you feel when you host guests?</div><div>
    </div><div>I mean, sure we celebrated our marriage, but because we were hosting our guests we absolutely took their needs/likes into account.    Wedding or not,  being a good host was our main goal.</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:90d03a4a-44c5-4cb4-8582-09012af01795">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maybe I'm confused : Is this always how you feel when you host guests?
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    <div>I want the answer to this as well. I mean, when I invite people over for a dinner party, I make sure to prepare food they'll enjoy eating (which can be difficult when one of our friends is very picky).</div>
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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited May 2011
    I think wedding couples lose sight that just because a reception might be the most important, biggest and most expensive party you will throw does not mean you can you stop being a good host.   I do not care if it's a birthday, dinner party or a wedding, once you invite people to an event you need to host them properly.  

    Some couples think because they are getting married everything is about them.  Boards like this remind couples that once you start inviting people you become a host and need to act accordingly.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:56e27f61-06cd-48be-940a-fb2d858ab33f">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Maybe I'm confused : I want the answer to this as well. I mean, when I invite people over for a dinner party, I make sure to prepare food they'll enjoy eating (which can be difficult when one of our friends is very picky).
    Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

    Seriously. If you don't care about your guests, there is an easy solution...don't invite them.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_maybe-im-confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d27aeb1-f568-4b56-87b4-71afbda1ab62Post:a4c7da8c-8d82-478a-8631-f8607ee35bb4">Re: Maybe I'm confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've never thought as a reception as a thank you to the guests -- to me, it's a party to celebrate the marriage. Of course you need to be a good host and conscious of your guests, but that's true any time you throw a party.
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly how I feel.  I wouldn't do anything that would offend my guests and I'm trying to take peoples' preferences into consideration, but I do feel like the reception is a celebration of the wedding.  I wouldn't spend thousands of dollars to thank people for attending the wedding, we're spending it to celebrate the start of our life together.  If no one celebrated weddings and all we needed to do was thank guests for attending, I would send thank you cards. 
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