Hor'Deuovers Reception VS Meal Dilema

oceansrosey

I'm having my wedding on NYE next year and for the reception instead of having a formal sit down meal, my fiance and I want to have an abundance of Hor'Deuovers family style and an Italian Soda bar instead of the usual liquor since we arn't drinkers. Does that make our wedding sound weird? Just very self concious about making that decision?

MyNameIsNot

Are your guests drinkers?  On NYE you are going to get a lot of backlash for not offering alcohol.

mbcdefg

That sounds fine.

But it also depends on what time your reception will be ... I'm guessing that you want it to go to at least midnight, right? If you're starting late, like 9 or 10 p.m., then you don't need a TON of hors d'oeuvres. Just enough for people to snack on.

But if you're starting around maybe 7 or so, and plan to go until at least midnight, you're going to need enough hors d'oeuvres to constitute a meal. Anything more than about 3 hours and people need more substantial food than just snacks. You can certainly still do hors d'oeuvres, you just need more of them (like, maybe 12-15 pieces per person). You can also flesh out the menu with stations (meat carving station, pasta station, wok station, mashed potato bar, etc.) and stationary platters (fruit, vegetables, dips, cheese, bread and crackers, etc.) and then you won't need a ton of passed hors d'oeuvres.

The soda bar is fine. Alcohol isn't required for a wedding. Just remember that some crowds "expect" it, so if your crowd likes to drink (even if you and FI do not) then they might be bummed with not having a bar, or at least beer and wine. Especially on New Year's Eve. But even so, you're still not "required" to serve it. Just think about your crowd and go from there.

pandasquishy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_hordeuovers-reception-vs-meal-dilema?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:df466cb4-e75e-49ac-b495-b7acba79f972Post:6824f216-c480-4a79-b172-6e3c4aaeb214">Re: Hor'Deuovers Reception VS Meal Dilema</a>:
[QUOTE]Are your guests drinkers?  On NYE you are going to get a lot of backlash for not offering alcohol.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

<div>This, exactly.  Unless you're wedding is a lunchtime wedding and everyone goes home and does their own thing for NYE.</div>

MyNameIsNot

But to answer your question, either a full meal or heavy apps is fine.  For an evening wedding, if you do hors d'hoeurves, you should have enough to make a meal.  You can normally get around this by starting really late (ceremony at 9), but on NYE, people are going to have an even harder time getting dinner before the wedding b/c restaurants are all insane.  If you don't serve enough food, people will leave early.

As far as which one to do, either is fine.  If you''ve already booked a caterer, talk to them about the options and your budget and figure out what works best for you.

aerinpegadrak

Do your guests drink?  Personally, I wouldn't attend a dry wedding on NYE unless I were in it.  Any other night I would be okay with a dry wedding, but not NYE.

As far as the hors d'oeuvres, as long as you have plenty, you should be fine.  MyNameIsNot makes an excellent point about getting dinner beforehand being very difficult (NYE is one of several nights I refuse to set foot in a restaurant), so you should try to make sure that your guests aren't going to be leaving hungry.  We're doing our food cocktail style, but it's heavy food (crab stuffed mushrooms, mini sliders, terayaki chicken kabobs) and we're going ot have a ton of it.

oceansrosey

The wedding is taking place at 11:00 am and by the time we finish with photos we figured my new husband and I would be at the reception by 1230 at the latest since the restuarant is a block away from the church. We didn't want to hold the reception till midnight due to the crowd mostly being family with small children.

MyNameIsNot

In that case, you don't need alcohol.  Typically, NYE weddings are in the evening, so I think we made some assumptions.

Either option for food would work well during the day.  Talk to your caterer and see what kind of options they offer in your budget. 

aerinpegadrak

Ah, okay.  Yeah, morning/afternoon weddings are totally fine with no alcohol, and the soda bar would be pretty cool. 

I think that doing it cocktail style would be fine, as long as you have plenty of food.  I would specify on your invitations that it's a cocktail reception.  I know if I were going to a lunchtime cocktail reception, I'd eat a heavier breakfast than normal so I wouldn't be as hungry.

gottahavashorti

That sounds fine since you're not going until midnight.  Could you do a cocktail hour with some of the lighter hors d'oeuvres to tide people over before you and your FI arrive at the reception? 

Lasairiona

If your guests don't drink, it's perfectly acceptable to skip the alcohol, even at night. If someone has a problem with it, they can stay home. Serving alcohol or not serving it does not determine whether you are a good or bad hostess, contrary to popular belief.

As for the menu itself, most people don't eat a full meal on NYE so heavy appetizers are fine. That is what people usually eat at NYE anyway. The fact that a wedding is taking place is irrelevant. A wedding does not require certain elements, despite what others may tell you. The only requirements are that you serve the basic refreshments that are appropriate for the timeframe and that you don't inconvenience your guests (lack of seating or making them pay for anything, etc).

 That said, what you have planned is perfectly acceptable. The folks here are not attending your wedding so their opinions only apply to their guests. Your family and friends will be attending your wedding so what works for you and your guests is what you need to do. If that means not serving alcohol, then so be it.

lyndausvi

Your menu is fine. No alcohol is fine (although would never happen at my wedding).

I do find your timing a little inconvenient.  I know a lot of people (myself included) who do not have off on  NYE day.  So some people will have to take off of work.  That kind of sucks.

A lot of people also enjoy NYE night.  I would be kind of annoyed  going to a wedding earlier in the day and then celebrating NYE that night.  That is a lot of partying for one day.

chrob

I think that sounds great, and if it's lunchtime you can really fun stations like soup and sandwich, salad martini bar, etc.

With regards to the timing- isn't New Years Day a public holiday in the US? I'm not totally sure because I live overseas, but assuming it is, it falls on a Saturday that year, so doesn't that mean the public holiday gets pushed to Friday anyway?

Even if that isn't the case, I don't see a problem with Friday daytime weddings, I know a lot of people who do that, I have never heard anyone complain, and you are giving people plenty of notice. Saturday weddings totally inconvenience people who work in retail and catering but no one considers that rude.

flutgrl1

um usually I love app only weddings. But a booze free NYE is something I would never attend.

gottahavashorti

Many places are closed or have modified schedules on New Years' Day, but not New Years Eve unless they are normally open until midnight and don't have a liquor license.  I doubt that the public holiday would be shifted except for government employees.

I just checked and NYE is a Friday that year.  A lot of people work during the day on NYE.  Could you shift it to Jan 2, after people have recouped from NYE so that it would fall on the weekend?

mandarose83

That time of day, I think either way will do nicely.  If I am understanding this correctly you are doing it early enough that your guests could go home and rest before going out that evening if needed.  It may be because I'm not a big partier that this wouldn't be a big deal to me.  None of the five weddings I have attended in the past two years have served adult drinks.  Including the two evening weddings.  I won't at my wedding because I know a couple of my guests don't know when to say when.  The last thing I want on that day is someone making a fool of themselves because they are three sheets to the wind.  Our budget also played into that choice.  We were able to do a couple other things that we both wanted to do instead of paying for drinks.  Also, as far as asking people to take off, I don't see where thats an issue either, most of us especially with lots of notice don't mind a reason for taking a day off.  Our wedding is going to be on a Thursday at seven pm.  That is what made our budget work, and its making life easier on our out of state and out of country guests. I am telling my friends here locally that its an excuse to take the following Friday off and make it a three day weekend.  This also means that most of my bridal party is having to take off two days or at least 1 1/2.  Now, my girls have complained about the shoes, and such, but no one has made a comment about missing work.  I know I rambled a bit, but I hope it helps.  In short, most people won't care about taking NYE off, and its ok not to serve drinks especially considering the time of day of your reception.