Biggest wedding pet peeve?

BrittneyRN

I lurk on a ton of boards on the knot and there are 4 things that brides do that bug the heck out of me -inviting more people than the venue can hold/you can pay for and counting on people declining. I don't get this...you NEVER know who may surprise you -Brides who are so concerned about bridal parties being even that they ask people they aren't close to or make their FI ask people just to even them up. -Brides who think their BMs/MOH have duties and then kick them out and replace them. I have 2 potential drop outs for my wedding...one because of school and one because of a pregnancy...I would never think if replacing them. -and my biggest- people who send out invitations 3+ months in advance. I don't even get my schedule sometimes until a month before. I think this is just asking for screwed up RSVP numbers. Anyway, what are your biggest pet peeves! Or am I the only nit picker around here?

staycb01

I agree with a few of your petpeeves! The invites arent supposed to be sent out till 6-8 weeks before the wedding.....  you wont want more people to show up at your recpetion than the place holds. Makes it way too crowded for guests.

My only petpeeve is bridezillas! It sure makes women ugly!

achiduck

Brides who think they're entitled to engagement parties, multiple showers, etc, etc. We didn't have an engagement party because no one offered to throw us one - it doesn't make our engagement and wedding any less special.

Also vow renewals that turn into PPDs. Those REALLY annoy the crap out of me.

trawas01

Honestly, my biggest pet peeve is people who get entirely too crazy about etiquette.

Are there suggested ways to do things? sure.
Are they the right way for everyone? no.
Are you better because Miss Manners backs you up? no.

I hate seeing girls getting bashed for choosing to do something their own way.

BrittneyRN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:ff3892c5-64a4-4613-bef7-23e3488d112f">Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE] Also vow renewals that turn into PPDs. Those REALLY annoy the crap out of me.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]



I honestly get a little sad when girls say their courthouse wedding wasn't a real wedding so they need a redo. Ive seen tons of women on here who have had a courthouse wedding and loved it. I think it's offensive to them.

BrittneyRN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:b5bfbd53-5865-4000-b725-c3a51fee8a60">Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, my biggest pet peeve is people who get entirely too crazy about etiquette. Are there suggested ways to do things? sure. Are they the right way for everyone? no. Are you better because Miss Manners backs you up? no. I hate seeing girls getting bashed for choosing to do something their own way.
Posted by trawas01[/QUOTE]




I do agree the bashing does get out if hand, BUT I also think that if someone asks a question about their wedding on the etiquette board, they are going to get an answer about what etiquette says.

SteveAndSara2005

I completely agree with the first thing you said, I will never understand why brides invite more than the venue will hold. It makes no sense. ..  My mother keeps telling me "not everyone will come!"   But you have to go with the number of people invited not how many may not show up. That's just crazy!

aimee58

Totally agree with you ladies!

My biggest pet peeve is when brides get snippy about their BMs. Your WP is not your army of slaves. They are your friends who you want to spend the day with you. Some women just get so "disappointed" when their WP can't be at a WR event or don't do what they want them to do.

snuff9861

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:f2fec29f-5cce-40ce-8668-ee6fb266bba1">Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE]I lurk on a ton of boards on the knot and there are 4 things that brides do that bug the heck out of me -inviting more people than the venue can hold/you can pay for and counting on people declining. I don't get this...you NEVER know who may surprise you -Brides who are so concerned about bridal parties being even that they ask people they aren't close to or make their FI ask people just to even them up. -Brides who think their BMs/MOH have duties and then kick them out and replace them. I have 2 potential drop outs for my wedding...one because of school and one because of a pregnancy...I would never think if replacing them. -and my biggest- <strong>people who send out invitations 3+ months in advance.</strong> I don't even get my schedule sometimes until a month before. I think this is just asking for screwed up RSVP numbers. Anyway, what are your biggest pet peeves! Or am I the only nit picker around here?
Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I'm planning on sending my invitations out towards the end June/Early July for my Oct 6th wedding ONLY because in Canada it's Thanksgiving weekend and 90% of my guests are OOT. Just to ensure people can get flights and hotels booked ahead of time and no is left scrambling.

</div>

Poppy101212

Totally related but more IRL.

I work in a bridal salon and I HATE how  many brides seem to think that they are better and more soecial than every other person in the building.... ummm no..... most people are in the EXACT same boat as you.

Also cannot stand when people who engaged think that thay are SOOO much better, and have more validation to their relationship than those who are not.

You're not that special get over it.

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:6223653e-abc8-4a2c-9829-e9866b1092af">Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve? : I honestly get a little sad when girls say their courthouse wedding wasn't a real wedding so they need a redo. Ive seen tons of women on here who have had a courthouse wedding and loved it. I think it's offensive to them.
Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]
I know -it's super offensive and drives me crazy. Just because they didn't have a huge ball gown and 6 tier cake doesn't make your marriage less valid. Get over yourself. 

BrittneyRN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:79e72d3c-469c-4169-9f06-5b712f47ff14">Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Biggest wedding pet peeve? : I'm planning on sending my invitations out towards the end June/Early July for my Oct 6th wedding ONLY because in Canada it's Thanksgiving weekend and 90% of my guests are OOT. Just to ensure people can get flights and hotels booked ahead of time and no is left scrambling.
Posted by snuff9861[/QUOTE]

I definitely understand this. Though, I've seen people send invites out 5-6 months in advance and expect the RSVP back 2 months before the wedding. I just know that I, myself, could not RSVP 2 months before a wedding because my schedule doesn't even come out that early.

ETA: It's really more of a pet peeve of mine when people send them out so esrly so they can invite B list or C list guests.

CFM102012

For some friends that got married this past October, I dont' remember when we actually got the invititation but it was due back in either June or July.  I RSVP'd yes for FI and I but he ended up not being able to go due to work.  Had they been sent and due back closer to the actual date they would probably have had a more accurate count.  It was a very DIY and budget wedding with Fazoli's catering so I wasn't worried about them taking a huge hit on the cost of his dinner.

violakat03

Assuming everyone has the same budget as they do. I've noticed this happens a lot on my local board. Just because you can spend $8k on catering or $4k on a photographer doesn't mean everyone can! I see brides ask for low-cost suggestions on things like venues, caterers, photographers, etc and people suggest options that are more than my entire budget!! Someone suggested a caterer to a budget bride that was literally double my entire budget. Needless to say, I don't ask for suggestions from my local board much!

CFM102012

Viola, are you in Columbus or is that just the closest TK city.  I live in C-bus but my wedding is in my hometown though Columbus is still the closest TK city.  Depending on where you are I may have suggestions.

I just realized a pet peeve last night while reading posts over on Traditions.  It's more of a general peeve but it pops up a lot here on TK.  Using the wrong homophone.  Its especially prevalent when people talk about their "walking down the isle (sic) song", when they mean aisle. I keep wanting to ask if they're getting married on a small island and are walking the legnth of it.

violakat03

I live in Columbus but our wedding is in Indiana (his hometown). I see a lot of Columbus knotties recommending Wendy's Bridal to budget brides - I went in there with my mom and about keeled over from sticker shock! The Columbus board also seems to be VERY anti-David's, which bugs the heck out of me considering how budget-friendly they are. It's where I got my dress from and I'm not ruling out BM dresses from there.

So far the only suggestion I've asked for, and subsequently been annoyed by the overpriced responses was when I asked for a place to get a tiara for cheap, with a specified price range. Two people replied with Etsy. Uh ... handmade is not cheap. Though to be fair, one person gave me a great suggestion and that suggested vendor was where I purchased mine from.


I'm stealing your idea, btw. "Ohhh, you're walking the whole length of the island? That must be tiring!"

CFM102012

Since you're getting married in Indiana you might check out the Indianapolis board.  They're suggestions might apply more. 

 I also got my dress from Davids and I love it.  Though I went to the Davids near the Dayton Mall since its closest to my parents' house.  The one thing about Davids is that each consultant has several other brides she's helping at the same time she's helping you, so you don't quite get the one on one like you see in SYTTD.  I was okay with that. She was there when I needed her and made suggestions.  

violakat03

I've been on the Indiana board and it's pretty much all Indy, which is just far enough from our site to be too far. There's been several local wedding shows that have helped us with vendors though.

I also got my dress from the David's by the Dayton Mall! Something I learned quickly is DON'T go on a Saturday if you want individual assistance. If you go through the week though, you'll certainly end up with a consultant all to yourself - sometimes even two if they're bored.

Ali092011

My wedding pet peeve is brides who are overly concerned with registries and what gifts they will be receiving. Weddings aren't about gifts. Most people should register, because most guests do want to buy a gift, but I hate when people make it their main focus.

I especially hate when brides think the gifts they receive should be equal or greater in value to the price they paid for their guests. One of my friends actually complained that her cousin only gave her $40 when they paid $100 per person. Um, I'm sorry, but last I checked, YOU CHOSE to spend that much money. If you didn't want to, why didn't you have a smaller wedding at a cheaper venue? Guests aren't worried about reimbursing you because you decided to go with the dessert bar.

Anyone who looks at their wedding as an opportunity to "make back" the money they spent on their PPD or as money-making endeavors in general just irks the hell out of me.

scarlettc27

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:0466892b-7eed-415c-8b6a-91945b677780">Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE]Since you're getting married in Indiana you might check out the Indianapolis board.  <font color="#000000"><strong>They're </strong></font>suggestions might apply more.  ... Posted by CFM102012[/QUOTE]

Hahaha, did you do that intentionally??   :)

The homophone thing is kind of annoying, but we all do it accidentally on casual forums.  It really bothers me when people don't use punctuation AND habitually misspell/confuse homophones - I have a hard time understanding what they are talking about!

Wedding planning annoyances:

1. Wedding blogs that use the words "whimsical" and "swoon" all the time.  Blech.

2. Feeling pressure to produce an event that perfectly reflects the couple's individual and pleasantly-quirky personalities, while not offending anyone's sensibilites.  Can't we just have a really happy, fun party?

**And just to add something to the ettiquette debate - I'm a serious believer in ettiquette.  Ettiquette is a tool designed to help prevent embarrassment, discomfort, and hurt feelings. 

It should not be used as a tool to humiliate, judge, or bully those who willfully or accidentally ignore it.  People that say things like, "If I got invited to a wedding that did -<em>some incorrect thing that is a breach in ettiquette and might be seen as rude</em>- I would take my present and leave," are not doing it right.  It's just as bad, ettiquette-wise, to respond in such a way to a breach of ettiquette. 

But if you ask someone (or TK Ettiquette Board) what the correct ettiquette is in a given situation, be prepared for an answer you may not like.  (Though it shouldn't be delivered rudely or 17 times by different people.)

ninaelizabeth3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:b5bfbd53-5865-4000-b725-c3a51fee8a60">Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, my biggest pet peeve is people who get entirely too crazy about etiquette. Are there suggested ways to do things? sure. Are they the right way for everyone? no. Are you better because Miss Manners backs you up? no. I hate seeing girls getting bashed for choosing to do something their own way.
Posted by trawas01[/QUOTE]

This is one of mine too! 

I also recently posted my invitations on, I believe, the DIY board for some feedback and I feel like I was blasted to pieces because we added a line of wording that FI and I both wanted.  I love some of the feedback people give, but when you're asked to help check spelling and what not, just do that, keep your personal opinions to yourself.  I feel like if you don't like someone's wording, for instance, than fine, but that's not what they asked for help with, and they love it, so keep it to yourself.  But maybe that's just me. 

Ali092011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_biggest-wedding-pet-peeve?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:1dc1cc28-5e29-49fd-87a2-3f0e9ab5048aPost:0c1aab50-faae-4c2e-8f69-770e642d7225">Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Biggest wedding pet peeve? : Hahaha, did you do that intentionally??   :) The homophone thing is kind of annoying, but we all do it accidentally on casual forums.  <strong>It really bothers me when people don't use punctuation AND habitually misspell/confuse homophones</strong> - I have a hard time understanding what they are talking about! Wedding planning annoyances: 1. Wedding blogs that use the words "whimsical" and "swoon" all the time.  Blech. 2. Feeling pressure to produce an event that perfectly reflects the couple's individual and pleasantly-quirky personalities, while not offending anyone's sensibilites.  Can't we just have a really happy, fun party? **And just to add something to the ettiquette debate - I'm a serious believer in ettiquette.  Ettiquette is a tool designed to help prevent embarrassment, discomfort, and hurt feelings.  It should not be used as a tool to humiliate, judge, or bully those who willfully or accidentally ignore it.  People that say things like, "If I got invited to a wedding that did - some incorrect thing that is a breach in ettiquette and might be seen as rude - I would take my present and leave," are not doing it right.  It's just as bad, ettiquette-wise, to respond in such a way to a breach of ettiquette.  But if you ask someone (or TK Ettiquette Board) what the correct ettiquette is in a given situation, be prepared for an answer you may not like.  (Though it shouldn't be delivered rudely or 17 times by different people.)
Posted by cmhurst[/QUOTE]
 Do you mind misspelled words in general? Because "ettiquette" is not correct. It's "etiquette." :)

I hate the word "whimsical" too.