Should we? or Shouldn't we?

crb3754

I want to have a full mass wedding but I don't think I should. I am having around 200 people at my wedding. Of these 200 people only about 30 of them are Catholic. I just don't want it to be awkward when more then half the people don't even know what's going on. What do you all think?

catarntina

I think if you and FI are both practicing Catholics, and if you and FI want to have a full mass, then yes you should.  If your relatives don't want to sit through a full mass... well... it's not *their* wedding, it's not *their* sacrament.

If the only reason why you don't want a full mass is because other people don't know what's going on, maybe you could make a program so they can feel more included?

A full mass is really not *that* much different than a ceremony outside of mass.  The non Catholics just won't get to partake in communion.

[Deleted User]

Ditto pp. For my husband and I, we are practicing Catholics and the marriage is one of the sacraments. It was about our special moment with God in the prescence of the Holy Spirit that was truly amazing. We both wanted full mass, there was not getting around it.

I would say we had about half and half, but even the non Catholics said it was a beautiful ceremony. And keep in mind, just bc you have invited 200, doesn't mean all 200 are going to rsvp yes and furthermore, come to the ceremony and/or reception. They may just come to the reception.

Theresa626

This is your wedding and no one else's.  While you might compromise on types of food or music at the reception to please your guests, the one thing you should never ever compromise on is the actual wedding ceremony and vows.  Your ceremony is about you two and God only.  It is not about anyone else.  They are privileged to watch it but you are not putting on entertainment for them and other than providing seating, programs and air conditioning, you should not be expected to accomodate them.  If you think for even one second you will look back on your wedding and regret not having the eucharist then you should have a full mass.   

Calypso1977

if you and your FI want a Mass you shoudl have it.  you guests can either be adults and be respectful of your beliefs, religion and ceremony, or they can skip it.  it seems taht only Catholics are worried about "offending" their wedding guests with a Mass.  you never hear jewish people or muslims or other christian faiths worry about offending people with their ceremony.

the Nuptial Mass is said in your honor and provides additional blessings for the bride and groom as they enter marriage.  if you both want ti, you shouldnt deny yourselves.

agapecarrie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_should-shouldnt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:2163c33e-911d-4325-bb58-8551483c38fdPost:87ebbbf7-1f5b-45f8-b4bc-0e0c63ce601d">Re: Should we? or Shouldn't we?</a>:
[QUOTE]This is your wedding and no one else's.  While you might compromise on types of food or music at the reception to please your guests, the one thing you should never ever compromise on is the actual wedding ceremony and vows.  Your ceremony is about you two and God only.  It is not about anyone else.  They are privileged to watch it but you are not putting on entertainment for them and other than providing seating, programs and air conditioning, you should not be expected to accomodate them.  If you think for even one second you will look back on your wedding and regret not having the eucharist then you should have a full mass.   
Posted by Theresa626[/QUOTE]

I understand what you are trying to say, but the way you put it is actually not quite correct.

Actually, it IS for the people. The people gathered are witnesses of the sacrament as the church. The sacrament belongs to the church. The people are also offering (hopefully) their communion up for the benefit of the couple and their marriage.
When a couple starts to think that the wedding is only about them, then they start to play with the mass, adding things that don't belong, and forgetting that the liturgy is a public act, and also forgetting that the whole purpose of their marriage is to imitate Christ's love for the church and to bring graces upon others.

Another thing to remember is that the mass can be evangelistic. We can't put boundaries on the graces of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. By people simply witnessing the mass, even if not Catholic, they are transformed, even if they don't realize it immediately.

clearheavens

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_should-shouldnt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:2163c33e-911d-4325-bb58-8551483c38fdPost:5f88bee4-3c63-4fb1-b231-2b7d6edf7668">Re: Should we? or Shouldn't we?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Another thing to remember is that the mass can be evangelistic.</strong> We can't put boundaries on the graces of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. By people simply witnessing the mass, even if not Catholic, they are transformed, even if they don't realize it immediately.
Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

<div>Ditto this.</div><div>
</div><div>I'd say, go for it.</div>

bibliophile2010

If both of you are Catholic, I agree with PPs and say go for it!!

xoxosbt

Whether or not you should have a Catholic Nuptial mass should not be based on who your guests are. It is based on your faith and beliefs.  If you are both Catholic, and you ask for God's grace to bless your marriage in the highest form of prayer (the Eucharistic celebration) -- then go for it.

If you're still in doubt, and you're really concerned about your guests more than what you believe in, do a Catholic ceremony without the full mass.  It will only last about 15-20 minutes.

If it's too much for your non-Catholic guests, they'll probably just come to the reception, anyway.

Reflect... on what is important to you.

crb3754

Thank you ladies

My FI isn't catholic. He is Lutheran but he doesn't go to church or anything. he comes to mass with me every once in awhile. Our priest offeredvto do a combined ceremony but my FI said no we can do a catholic only mass since he doesn't go to the Lutheran Church. I am just going to do a full mass. It's my wedding and it's my sacrament and it's what I have always dreamed of. A lot my FI family have told me they love catholic weddings and are looking forward to it because they're so beautiful.

I ordered my dress yesterday!!!! So excited for June!!!

Thanks again for the encouragment ladies ♥