Wishin' and hopin' and...

Okay, I'm tired of venting to my friends about the matter (b/c I'm sure they're tired of hearing it too!)  so I'm venting to y'all instead--here goes. :)

My BF and I have been dating for almost 5 years now. He talks frequently about how he's saving big chunks out of his paycheck each cycle to put into savings for a house; "our house". He has also already disclosed that he expects us to move into an apartment together after the lease at my current house runs out in July (I graduate from my university in June-woot!). However, he absolutely REFUSES to even casually discuss the topic of marriage--our future marriage, or someone else's. He doesn't get freaked out by weddings, though, as we went to two this summer and he enjoyed himself, even talked about wedding stuff with me a teeny bit. But, after that, he has once again clammed-up about weddings. 

This is beyond frustrating. I'm not trying to rush him into anything, especially since I'm still in school and would like to be graduated and making money before we start planning a wedding (as my recently engaged roommate can attest, they're just so expensive!). It's also extremely disconcerting because although he mentioned once (after me sobbing, asking if I was "wasting my time" waiting on him--it was a deep moment of terrible weakness, I'm not proud of it, but it got him talkin!) that he definitely plans to be married to me, no doubt, when every other instance shows him obviously ignoring or dismissing me when the subject comes up, I forget any assurance he tried to instill in me in that solitary conversation. 

One of his very close friends let slip to not one, but TWO of my best friends that he knows for fact that my BF will propose sometime around my graduation. So, now, anytime I discuss my overwhelming disappointment with my best friends I either get the same (well-meant but highly frustrating) reply of "oh, stop worrying, you know it's going to happen soon!' or "that's really weird, me and *insert bf's name here* started talking about it after __months" etc. So, I wanted to hear what y'all think (if you didn't fall asleep halfway through my long-winded post haha). 

Ultimately, I know that my BF loves me and he sees a future with me, but his complete dismissal of talking about it crushes me every time. I'm not pining for an engagement right away, just some sort of reassurance that I'm not the only one who is looking forward to marriage.

Again, sorry it's so long and whiney and alksdjflaksdj :)
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