I don't want to be "that" bride

breaness

I know that when you hire a wedding coordinator, you're supposed to go through them and not contact the vendors directly... so I need a little advice.

We're using Dennis DeRego as our officiant for our wedding day. Bill from mauidforever.com sent us the wording for Dennis' Hawaiian ceremony and it was beautiful and I loved it so we decided to go with him.

Well I've been googling (bad, I know) and I found his website and on his website he has a "simple" ceremony. It's shorter and it still has a little Hawaiian flare and frankly I like it better. No conch shell blowing or any of that, but I'm afraid that if we did that we'd just crack up laughing at the cheesiness of it all (no offense to those who are doing it!)

Should I contact Dennis directly and tell him that we're using him and we booked through mauidforever on 10-10-11 and we'd prefer the simple ceremony, or should I tell Bill? Or... should I just suck it up and go with what we originally picked.

I can't help but feel like there was some reason that Bill didn't give us the simple ceremony as a choice before.

motoLyn

I can see the dilemma in your situation.  I feel its your wedding day and you should have it the way you want.  I would contact your coordinator and tell him that you were looking at the officiant's website and found a ceremony you like better and have the coordinator fix it for you.  If you prefer email the officiant and Cc your coordinator.  I think that as long as you keep your coordinator in the loop then no harm done to contact the vendor yourself.  I don't know how rigid your coordinator is though.  I know mine would be ok with it as long as I keep her informed.   

ShantinaMarie

I think you should do exactly what you want. My FI's sister got married on Maui in 2006 and I watched their wedding video there really are parts where I was like . ."huh that’s a little awkward" and they said it was for them as well when they had to incorporate specific Hawaiian aspects of it they weren’t aware of before hand.  So if you feel now you might want to change something I would. I booked a coordinator but I found my own reception site after having her book Gannon's I just wanted to be able to dance and Gannon’s didn’t offer that for me. I felt bad but I just thought about the fact its "my day." I also found my own makeup artist. So now that I’m done talking about myself lol sorry about that I think you should do what you want and what will make you happy on your wedding day.

breaness

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_hawaii_dont-want-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:73Discussion:8d5658f8-6860-43b3-8491-83e8bcdde597Post:604e6def-0361-46ee-89b9-204832c8a930">Re: I don't want to be "that" bride</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should do exactly what you want. My FI's sister got married on Maui in 2006 and I watched their wedding video there really are parts where I was like . ."huh that’s a little awkward" and they said it was for them as well when they had to incorporate specific Hawaiian aspects of it they weren’t aware of before hand.   So if you feel now you might want to change something I would. I booked a coordinator but I found my own reception site after having her book Gannon's I just wanted to be able to dance and Gannon’s didn’t offer that for me. I felt bad but I just thought about the fact its "my day." I also found my own makeup artist. So now that I’m done talking about myself lol sorry about that I think you should do what you want and what will make you happy on your wedding day.
Posted by ShantinaMarie[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thanks for sharing all of that. It definitely makes me feel a little better!

</div>

cryssv

If I were in that situation I would contact the coordinator and just be honest that you wanted to check out the offiiant and found his website with a ceremony style you would prefer.
My fear would be if I contacted the vendor myself or somehow made the coordinator feel as though I went over their head or "was that bride" that you might not get 100% from the coordinator if it left a bad taste in their mouth. I know this is our day and all but the coordinator can decide if you get very basic service or over and above service from them

Tanq&Tonic

I think it's less about stepping on toes, and more about ease of communication.  Honestly, if I were you, I would just go through Bill -- you don't have a relationship with Dennis, he probably doesn't know who you are, etc.  Let Bill take care of the logistics and just send him what you want changed.  I think coordinators are pretty accutsomed to making repeated changes as brides think more clearly about specific elements.

AKWinterBride

I agree with all the girls above, talk to you coordinator and if she isn't willing to work with his more simple ceremony - hire him yourself. 

[Deleted User]

Hi!

I totally don't think you need to suck it up. It's not a big deal and you should have the wedding ceremony you envision is best for you.

Your wedding coordinator should be willing to help get the ideas across to your vendor. And it's totally not a lot to ask them to do it for you