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Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

Honeymoon Registry - tacky or no?

I noticed some threads that referred to these types of registries as tacky. When I first read about the idea in a magazine and I told my fiance about it and we both thought the idea would be perfect for us. We absolutely love to travel and we thought the excursions and fun little items that they would purchase for us would be like a scavenger hunt. And maybe get to try things we normally would not have done.

We were also going to register at Target or something to make sure we had something for everyone's budget and to not "bully" or make someone feel pressured to spend more than they care to.

So.....you tell me - tacky or no? Undecided
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Re: Honeymoon Registry - tacky or no?

  • edited December 2011
    My vote is tacky.  The reason why is because the point of wedding gifts are to help you start your new life together.  If you already have everything that you need either register for up grades or don't register at all.  People will still probably give you cash gifts and you can put that towards your HM, but asking people to pay for part of your vacation seems rude to me. 
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  • juliels53juliels53 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Tacky. I agree, asking for someone to pay for a vacation is rude. I think a small Target registry is appropriate and if someone would rather, they'll just give you cash.
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  • edited December 2011

    I'm not sure I would say tacky (maybe?), but just not my style.  I personally wouldn't contribute to one.

    IDK how they work, but don't you just get a bunch of cash at the end?  Yes, the guests purchase "excursions and/or spa treatments" for you, but the registry doesn't book any of these things for you (how could they know where, when, etc.?), do they?  And don't they take a cut of the donations?  It just seems like a front to get a bunch of cash, which I guess is tacky.  Why not just register for a bunch of gift cards then?!

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  • LolaBelle515LolaBelle515 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    From my perspective, it's not tacky. I actually really love the idea and would have done it if we didn't already have 3 registries going because we just bought a house and need the stuff.

    Here's why:  I am an "activity" person, rather than a "stuff" person.  I really struggle getting excited about buying people a blender or towels for their wedding....but when it comes to birthdays and other times to buy people something--I tend to get them play tickets or a dinner out or a sports game...that kind of thing. If a friend did a honeymoon registry, I would DEFINITELY love getting them a massage/dinner/whatever for their honeymoon.

    My thought is that if guests aren't into the idea of getting something for a honeymoon, they should definitely have the option of a more traditional registry--but if you'd like honeymoon gifts, I think there would be some guests, like me, that would love to give that to you! 

    PS. Have you read the "rules" on the various honeymoon registry sites. It seemed a little complicated to me, so do check into the details before making a decision...
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  • edited December 2011
    I don't know if I would classify them as tacky - I just think the whole registry issue - period - is uncomfortable. Technically, registering anywhere - be it Target or Honeyfund - is an etiquette faux pas. But sometimes those old rules need to be changed.

    (However, never ever EVER put your registry info on the invitation. That rule should never be broken.)

    I am attending a wedding next month where the couple has a Target and a honeymoon registry. I am a little old-school, so I'm selecting a gift from the Target registry. However, at my cousin's wedding, the registry was small and already fulfilled, and since I knew the couple was hoping to go on a big European honeymoon, I gave them a check.
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  • Bimbi284Bimbi284 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't know that I would go so far as to say they are tacky. I realize that nowadays many couples have already lived together for a decent amount of time before marriage, and may have already made a home together, meaning they might not need all of the things one would typically register for. If that is the case, then I think the HM registry is a good idea and I would think the couple's friends and family would understand that. Its definitely better than simply asking for only cash, as the "gifter" will at least know that their money is going to something that the bride and groom will get to do together, and is still somewhat tied to the wedding celebration. 

    I know of someone getting married next month who is ONLY asking for cash (to the extent that the bridal shower had a quota of $30 per guest), but the groom still lives in his parent's house (not sure where she lives). That, to me, is far more tacky than a HM registry. 
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think it's tacky at all! PP said that it's tacky to have someone pay for your trip but that's not how a honeymoon registry works. You list different activities that you would like to do, like horse back riding, massage, dinner on the beach, breakfast in bed, etc. and you get a check for the total amount of gifts the week before the wedding so actually they can't help you pay for your flight or hotel accomodations, just activities while you are there.

    I can see where some people think it's tacky,  but I'm sure back when people started doing registries of any kind people thought it was tacky and still do. The way that we are doing it is.....we are only registering for activities that we know we want to do and would like to do, then when we go on the honeymoon we will take pics of us doing those activities and we will send a thank you card with a pic of the activity to who bought us that activity. We aren't just looking for cash, otherwise we wouldn't register at all, and we aren't looking for someone to pay for our honeymoon (doesn't work that way) but some people would rather give a gift of a lifelong memory rather than a coffee maker that could be replaced in 3-4 years.

    I think you should register on a honeymoon site and at another place, like you said! Oh one more thing, my FSIL did a honeymoon registry and got $2000 from it and used all of it on their honeymoon to Hawaii and had an awesome time! It was a really big hit at her wedding/bridal showers.
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  • zephyr_mariezephyr_marie member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's tacky either. I know that when my sister and her husband did a honeymoon registry, they actually did use the money towards their honeymoon and I think it's nice to see where your money might be going. So many people don't need traditional gifts and would rather have an amazing honeymoon, and I think that's great. There are a lot of great honeymoon registry sites as mentioned, and we're actually using a cash registry site as well, along with a traditional registry for people who don't like the idea of a cash gift. We're obviously not asking that people give us money, but people want to give us gifts, so really, cash towards our honeymoon would be amazing, so we worded it tactfully - that the best gift is having all of our friends and family there to celebrate the day, but for those who who have asked for what we want or need... here you go.
  • izzyjenniizzyjenni member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Not Tacky!  Enough said.  So many threads on this and it can get heated.  I don't think it is any different than registering anywhere else.  People can give you a gift card to target so why not a gift card for a nice spa/massage or dinner out while on your honeymoon.  We registered on a honeymoon site through our travel agency and no one has to pay extra for purchasing a gift through it.  Also we already paid for our honeymoon and registered at Target/crate and barrel.  This is just extra for anyone who wants to purchase some extras on our honeymoon instead of giving us cash.  Either way, no one has to give us a gift at all.  We are just happy that are joining us on our big day!   Kiss
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  • drdifabiodrdifabio member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I LOVE HM registries and dont think they are tacky at all! I think they are a great way to give your guests options. Have another registry that is "normal" like Target for guest that want to go that route and have a HM registry for guest that want to do something different. It is not like you are requiring them to buy you part of your HM...that is not how registries work at all. I think the more options you give your guest the better. Like Jess mentioned - you do get a card/check or something with the total dollar amount and can spend it on whatever you want while you are there, but Joe and I decided that if someone bought us say a message then that is what we are doing with that money. I would also do some research and find one that doest charge you fees for having it.

  • edited December 2011
    Personally, I don't think its tacky...although I wouldn't recommend saying that on the national boards.  Those girls are mean!

    My fiance and I are doing one, and so far people think its a really neat idea.  We also have two traditional registries (Crate & Barrel and Macy's) but wanted to offer a "fun" option.

    We set up ours through honeyfund.com (I'll give you the link to our page if you'd like) and I thinks its neat for people to look through even if they aren't getting us a gift from it.  It gives people a chance to read about what we'll be doing on our trip.

    If someone thinks its tacky, they don't need to buy us something from it.  They don't need to buy us anything at all!  I think the whole act of registering is inherently tacky, to tell you the truth!

    Anyways, so far everyone I've heard from thinks its cool.  I don't care about the haters!
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  • edited December 2011

    I am not paying for you to have sex in an exotic location, and I would feel weird about asking my relatives to.  My grandmother does not need help me pay for my vacation.

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  • edited December 2011
    Wow Liberty, I don't think that post was neccessary, you already gave your two cents on the matter!

    If you have the mentality you better not register for sheets because if grandma buys you those that will be pretty raunchy to have sex on those all the time!


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  • VeittobeVeittobe member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_honeymoon-registry-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:4cb5e9aa-e1f7-43b6-b69b-a420502826aaPost:13cc7792-37b7-409c-838f-368089b2cb11">Re: Honeymoon Registry - tacky or no?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally, I don't think its tacky...although I wouldn't recommend saying that on the national boards.  Those girls are mean!  Posted by MN_Jen[/QUOTE]

    I totally agree with this!  What is up with that?  Why are people so mean on those national boards?!  Yuck!
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  • edited December 2011

    I would not be asking for anyone to pay for our hotel or the flight down there. I was looking for friends and relatives to sign us up for activities and memorable moments. Like my eco-friendly aunt would probably do a turtle conservation tour and his night-life brother would maybe sign us up for drinks out on the town. During the honeymoon we would take pictures of us doing whatever they purchased for us and send them with the thank you notes. I never intended the idea to be a way to pay for the vacation because we are fortunate enough to be able to that on our own. Its a fun way for our friends and family to help personalize what we do and try new things we would not have before and make them feel like they were apart of it. 

    As for the more traditional people in our lives, I would never expect them to do something they do not agree with. We will be paying for my family's accommodations while they are in town for the wedding. So you could be staying that I am paying for them to have sex to..... (ewwww...)
    Wink

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  • edited December 2011
    Ha! Funny Viejes!
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