Jack & Jill Shower

normon

Hi, don't know anything about Jack & Jill showers but my friend's son and daughter in law might be having one.  Generally, who pays for it?  Bridesmaids?  Or groomsmen too?  Also, I guess they're talking about charging $25 per person for the shower (at someone's house) which I've never heard of for a shower before but maybe that's how these are done?  Is the charge usually instead of a shower gift?  Any information would be appreciated. 

bostonbride214

I've heard of two versions of a J&J shower...the first being a co-ed shower, inviting the couples to attend instead of only the female guests.

The other is typically guests are invited to pay a "fee" to attend the J&J shower and it is supposed to be a fundraiser for the bride and groom's wedding - it sounds like that is what you have been invited to. These don't usually go over well with the guests who are invited to help fund the wedding they will be attending, just my two cents

Shazzie116

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_jack-jill-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:eacbdbce-bffb-46ee-a19f-dd32034372bePost:0a2c1784-82a8-46e4-a1a6-f18a25315d70">Re: Jack & Jill Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I've heard of two versions of a J&J shower...the first being a co-ed shower, inviting the couples to attend instead of only the female guests. The other is typically guests are invited to pay a "fee" to attend the J&J shower and it is supposed to be a fundraiser for the bride and groom's wedding - it sounds like that is what you have been invited to. <strong>These don't usually go over well with the guests who are invited to help fund the wedding they will be attending</strong>, just my two cents :)
Posted by bostonbride214[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. In some social circles I've heard it's run of the mill, but it's really frowned upon in general. If it's a shower intended to give gifts to the couple, cool, but if you're expected to pay a "fee" that goes towards their wedding? That just doesn't sit right with me. 

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noodle_oo

Wow, I have never heard of a "fee" for a shower and I would be pretty offended if invited to that.  If so, i wouldn't get a gift (figuring the fee was the gift).

Weird!

karmellah

if you need help from me, just ask and i will help in anyway i can. dont charge me a fee to celebrate with you though.

Galaxy8227

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_jack-jill-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:89Discussion:eacbdbce-bffb-46ee-a19f-dd32034372bePost:0a2c1784-82a8-46e4-a1a6-f18a25315d70">Re: Jack & Jill Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I've heard of two versions of a J&J shower...the first being a co-ed shower, inviting the couples to attend instead of only the female guests. The other is typically guests are invited to pay a "fee" to attend the J&J shower and it is supposed to be a fundraiser for the bride and groom's wedding - it sounds like that is what you have been invited to. These don't usually go over well with the guests who are invited to help fund the wedding they will be attending, just my two cents :)
Posted by bostonbride214[/QUOTE]

I've only been to the first version.  It was just like a regular shower but with much more alcohol :)  I think the bridesmaids paid for it, but I'm not 100% sure about that.  There was no cover charge, I do find that kind of shower to be odd and I would be offended by it. 

vtbm

I've been to one Jack & Jill and we weren't charged. I think the bridesmaids hosted it. I've never heard of being charged. That's awful!!

soxgal12

I was the MOH in my friend's wedding and her mother INSISTED on having a J&J AND a traditional shower.  I thought this was way too much, but was eventually overruled.  Anyways for the J&J invited guests had to buy a ticket for $10, of which all of the money went to the bride and groom.  We had it at a local elks club, so the room was pretty cheap.  On top of that, the bridal party each had to make an entree for the buffet (we provided food to the guests) and bring a $75 raffle prize.  We sold raffle tickets for the prizes as well as had a 50-50 raffle and all of those proceeds went to the bride and groom as well.  We did get a DJ so everyone could dance and we paid him with a portion of the proceeds.  There was also a cash bar for people who wanted to drink.   I personally think this is way to much to ask of people and it was a lot of work for the bridal party, but everyone seemed to have fun and enjoyed it.  Again, I am not recommending this by any means, but just telling you how it was done for the one J&J I was part of!  Good Luck!

Shazzie116

If I were invited to a J&J and had to pay a fee to go towards the wedding, I'd send them a card with directions to the nearest city hall. Seriously.

thedivaone

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_jack-jill-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:89Discussion:eacbdbce-bffb-46ee-a19f-dd32034372bePost:87bc1cad-b2d4-420b-8c03-15a0345c87f8">Re: Jack & Jill Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]If I were invited to a J&J and had to pay a fee to go towards the wedding, I'd send them a card with directions to the nearest city hall. Seriously.
Posted by Shazzie116[/QUOTE]
 This, Shazzie, is why everyone around here loves you.  Seriously, that's the best response.  I can't *imagine* asking my guests for the shower to kick in money to pay for it or the wedding.

october010bride

I think these are terrible but they are really popular in western mass and in western pa, not sure where your friends are from. I was just invited to one in western ma by a friend from college.. the party was for someone I didn't even know!

I told my friend that her friend and fi can pay for their own damnn wedding.

JBs_Bride

I would definitely send regrets to a Jack and Jill where the guests were charged for admission.  I would never fathom asking my friends and family (or in october's example, random strangers) to pay for my wedding. Talk about balls!

jquirke9881

I would not go to a shower where I was expected to pay an admission fee.  I think it is thoughtless and rude. 

blondie82784

When my FI was in a wedding they did a jack & jill type thing and the four men & women who were in the bridal party paid....
 
A fee to go to a shower thats a little odd.. I would be declining if someone told me I had to pay ,when im already going to be giving a gift isnt that enough?

jacquikev

I have never heard of an admission fee to a shower! How odd! However I have been to a few J&Js and it was paid for by the bridal party and help from the parents.