Another "kids at the wedding" question....

amandacharlie101313

My FI and I have 5 kids in our wedding party, 3 FG & 2 RB.  All are young cousins, between the ages of 3 & 9, and we are very close to all 5.  I couldn't imagine our wedding without them.  Now here is our problem.  There are 2 other children who we are very close to that are not related.  One will be 8 the day of the wedding and the other 10.  We don't want our wedding to turn into "romper room" so we want it to be "adults only" or "invited only" but a lot of our family members have young children and I'm afraid that if we don't say "adult only reception" our family members will assume that they can bring their kids, even if they aren't on the invitation. But I also don't want to say "adult only" and have 2 extra kids there that aren't family.  Any suggestions on how to avoid uninvited children coming to the wedding?

bigfootjax

TLDR

arendiva

I would just address the invite to the intended adults and if they rsvp with the addition of their kids than call them up and clearify that the invite was for them only. You don't need to justify, argue, defend or explain your reasoning. They aren't invited.

Meegles4

What diva said. I have a TON of friends with infants or small children. None of them questioned me about bringing their kids. It's pretty common in our circle to not have kids at weddings, so I think people pretty much "got it". I did have one person ask me if her kids would be invited (before invitations went out) and I politely explained that we were being very limited in the children at the wedding and that her kids wouldn't be invited. It's awkward, but not unbearable if you have to do it.

PJSPJS

I think amandacharlie is afraid that even if the couple RSVPs just for themselves and does not add kids' names to the RVSP card, they may still bring small children along with them. I think she's trying to preclude this possibility.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

IMO, it's fine to invite some kids and not others. It's your wedding. Invite who you'd like.

Don't justify not inviting anyone else's kids in any way. If they RSVP for the kids just say, "I'm sorry, we won't be able to accomodate them." Or, "I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding, but the invitation was only for you and John." Don't say you can't afford to invite children, don't have room, are only inviting children close to you, etc. It just gives people room to argue.

MrsGandthebeag

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_another-kids-at-the-wedding-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e608cc1-069e-4b6a-ba3d-e9f8232037e5Post:e2922b2b-7256-4116-9ba8-f396f7f05e0a">Re: Another "kids at the wedding" question....</a>:
[QUOTE]I think amandacharlie is afraid that even if the couple RSVPs just for themselves and does not add kids' names to the RVSP card, they may  still bring small children along with them. I think she's trying to preclude this possibility.
Posted by PJSPJS[/QUOTE]

<div>If she's having a plated meal where people chose their meal she'd be able to tell if they add their kids or not.  If it's a buffet I guess this could happen.</div>