Wedding Etiquette Forum
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too early for shower invites>

I alread know the answer is most likely yes, but my mom is driving me nuts and I just want to vent.  The date for my shower is the saturday before mothers day......May 11th.  For some reason, my mom thinks that she needs to send out invites the first of April because it's right before mothers day and people might need time to plan?  So now of course she is hounding FI and I to get the registry done (we haven't even picked a place yet). 

I have a ton of stuff going on this month.  I'm trying to finish my thesis, I have another independent research project going on, job hunting, and I have an internship.  The majority of these things will be completed and off my plate by April 1st, but mom is all, you need to do your registry now because I want to order invites.  I know no matter what I tell her she isn't going to budge on sending the invites out so early, I just really wanted to vent that now I have to push aside things that are priority to me so I can go register

Re: too early for shower invites>

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    I would've said a month before, so 4/11, but really if it's going to make your mom happy, 4/1 isn't going to kill anyone.  People don't necessarily buy something from the registry the second they get an invite.  In my experience, most stuff doesn't get bought until the week of.  I think it's okay if you don't have time right now to register.  You can always add stuff along the way.
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    I'm not sure what the formal etiquette is, but I think invites for my shower was sent out more than a month ahead. My shower is on March 23rd, but the invitations were sent out by mid February. Not sure if it was proper or not, but I didn't really think about it since I'm not hosting it... But if its proper etiquette that invites be sent out at least a month ahead, she would need to order them now because it takes time to get produced and delivered to her.

    I don't think you need to have your registry completed before the invitation goes out, but just know where. It looks like most people don't buy gifts until a few weeks before the shower (at least in my case). With my shower being only about 2 weeks away, I only see a few gifts being bought on my registry.
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    Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited March 2013
    As a fellow crazy grad student I can identify. One suggestion I have is to start a registry online with things you know you could use, just to give guidance to any early gift purchasers. You could always add to it instore later. We actually did both of ours online, and tinkering with them for a few minutes is a fun study break. We used WS and BBB, and both have very user friendly websites. My FI has been quite involved with the registries, maybe yours would be helpful as well. I do think your mom may have a point about people needing extra warning for an event near Mother's Day. GL! Edited for reading fail about the date
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    Yeah.  I guess what's hard is that we have a lot of stores to choose from in the area......BBB, Macy's, Target, Kohl's, and we wanted to visit a few of those stores and then choose 2 to register at (and possible a universal on amazon so FI can get some man items haha).  I told my mom she needs to wait at least another week before we pick our stores. 

    Also as far as the invite delivery time......I ordered 100 wedding invites, response cards and hotel/direction cards yesterday from 123print.com.  My order has already been processed and delivery is expcect between march 13-17.  With that time frame, and for only 30 shower invites, I don't really think my mom needs to place an order rightthissecond.  She can definitely wait a week or 2 more.
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    Belle0720Belle0720 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    How about letting her order the invites now, but instead of including the registry information on the invites, include registry inserts/cards with the invite?

    My sister (MOH) just talked to me a couple days ago about ordering invites for my shower that isn't until June 8th. I just told her I thought she should wait another month in case any details change between now and then. But I understand wanting to get things ordered early just in case. My STDs took over 2 weeks from the order date to arrive. Baby shower invites for my friends shower took 1 week to arrive, but then a few were misprinted, so it took a few more days to get the full order.
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    If you have time to post on here, you have time to start a registry online. Also, someone is being gracious enough to throw you a shower, the least you can do is go spend an hour registering, it is really not that difficult. If I recall you are a June bride, which means there is like 3 months before the wedding, I would say you are late to the party if you have not registered yet. If you truly do not have the time, maybe you should decline the shower.  

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_too-early-for-shower-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e62c0b9-c4f0-4bde-8eb6-096e7fb40b79Post:2e924144-931a-45e3-bb9f-f23be23100e7">Re: too early for shower invites></a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: too early for shower invites /> : This.  I know it's a PITA, but FI and I added a ton of stuff online since we just don't have the time to go to the store.  For instance, I made my entire Crate & Barrel registry online since I don't have time to go to the store. Also, regarding invites, tell her to check out Shutterfly, that's where my shower hosts got mine.  They came ultra fast, were cheap, and your mom can usually find percent off coupons to apply to your purchase which help a ton. 
    Posted by mrskaiser22[/QUOTE]

    I actually would prefer to register online, but FI is very I want to touch and see the stuff in person.  Since he hasn't really expressed much interest in anything wedding related I figure I ought to respect this request.  I'm sure after we start an actual registry I will add more online though.  Yeah, I suggested mom go through 123print.com, they are quick to process and deliver as well.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_too-early-for-shower-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e62c0b9-c4f0-4bde-8eb6-096e7fb40b79Post:008942c3-4470-44cb-a5be-973a256c6108">Re: too early for shower invites></a>:
    [QUOTE]If you have time to post on here, you have time to start a registry online. Also, someone is being gracious enough to throw you a shower, the least you can do is go spend an hour registering, it is really not that difficult. If I recall you are a June bride, which means there is like 3 months before the wedding, I would say you are late to the party if you have not registered yet. If you truly do not have the time, maybe you should decline the shower.  
    Posted by sparkles776[/QUOTE]

    It's not like I'm looking to put off registering for another month.  I'm asking my mom to allott us 2 weeks.  This weekend is completely out as FI and I have an out of state wedding to attend.  We can find time to go the following week and that's what we plan to do.  And I agree with the other poster about registry inserts.  If my mom wants to order the invites now so be it and I can give her the registry cards we get when we do pick a store.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_too-early-for-shower-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1e62c0b9-c4f0-4bde-8eb6-096e7fb40b79Post:008942c3-4470-44cb-a5be-973a256c6108">Re: too early for shower invites></a>:
    [QUOTE]If you have time to post on here, you have time to start a registry online. Also, someone is being gracious enough to throw you a shower, the least you can do is go spend an hour registering, it is really not that difficult. If I recall you are a June bride, which means there is like 3 months before the wedding, I would say you are late to the party if you have not registered yet. If you truly do not have the time, maybe you should decline the shower.  
    Posted by sparkles776[/QUOTE]


    This.  Seriously, you post a lot, about things that you "already know the answer to" (your words in OP).  You could have started something online in the time it took you to post this, and respond several times.  If Fi has to "touch and feel", let him do it on his own time.  All of this is not as difficult as you are making it.
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