My MOH is planning a shower for me and has requested contact information for my FMIL to talk to her about my FI's side of the guest list for the shower.
Last night FMIL was at our place for dinner and I mentioned to her that my MOH was planning a shower and to expect a phone call from her. She then started talking about all of the old friends that she would like to invite to the shower. The problem is, these friends are not invited to the wedding! (she knows this...she is well aware of the wedding guest list). I explained to her nicely that all etiquette sources I have read indicate that all shower guests must be invited to the wedding and that inviting others is insulting to them and can appear gift grabby.
Well, she completely disagreed, saying that she has been to many showers where not all guests were invited to the wedding and that it is perfectly fine because the shower itself is a special event and people would be honored to just attend that! I cringed. She also stated that these guests will understand that they not everyone can be invited to the wedding and they will be fine with it.
She was very adamant that she was correct, and completely dismissed my opinion and any of the sources I mentioned.
I did not argue with her further after that. I simply stated that I did not think it was proper etiquette based on my research, but left it at that. This morning, however, I am stewing about it. I feel terrible that these people may bring a gift but are not invited to the wedding. But I also do not want to turn this into an issue between me and FMIL.
What should I do? Just leave it alone and let her invite who she wants? She really wants these people to be invited.
