MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's

DCordell

I made my selection, asking two friends to be MOH and another to be a bridesmaid.
One MOH is my BF of over 10 years is now apparently not speaking to me ( I think personal addiction related issues- it was an iffy choice I made out of love and loyalty to ask her in the first place).
My FI has asked a couple of times if there is anyway I could involve his sisters in the wedding, I keep saying I don't know.. since it really isn't going to be all that formal of an event. I don't plan to do programs, and the only seating during the ceremony will be for parents and grandparents- everyone else will stand.
I have 2 daughters 19 & 17 from a previous marriage that are giving me a hard time about not being bridesmaids.. In a humourous way..
Lastly we have a 3 yr old together who will be our flower girl, I suggested maybe my 2 older girls could walk down with her..
It seems like a small wedding party turned into a big ol mess
My FI has selected 2 GM

Advice on how to include everyone-

ILoveToRobot

MUD?

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:cf08f40b-f48f-44b2-8e3b-7d99d8b1eb9c">MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]I made my selection, asking two friends to be MOH and another to be a bridesmaid. One MOH is my BF of over 10 years is now apparently not speaking to me ( I think personal addiction related issues- it was an iffy choice I made out of love and loyalty to ask her in the first place). My FI has asked a couple of times if there is anyway I could involve his sisters in the wedding, I keep saying I don't know.. since it really isn't going to be all that formal of an event. I don't plan to do programs, and <strong>the only seating during the ceremony will be for parents and grandparents- everyone else will stand. </strong>I have 2 daughters 19 & 17 from a previous marriage that are giving me a hard time about not being bridesmaids.. In a humourous way.. Lastly we have a 3 yr old together who will be our flower girl, I suggested maybe my 2 older girls could walk down with her.. It seems like a small wedding party turned into a big ol mess My FI has selected 2 GM Advice on how to include everyone-
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]

That is very very rude.

specialk84

Everything Eagles said.

Oh, and if I was one of your older daughters, my feelings would be really hurt that you chose an "iffy" friend with addiction problems to stand up for you instead of me. That, and the kid you had with your FI gets to be a part of the process.

DCordell

Have any of you had weddings where your teenage daughers were bridesmaids, if so how did it work out? 

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:4ad3ae10-27a3-4433-9a28-1101eb9747a4">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]Have any of you had weddings where your teenage daughers were bridesmaids, if so how did it work out? 
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]

<div>both of my girls were teens and were BM's in my wedding.  Why on Earth wouldn't that work out?</div>

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:4ad3ae10-27a3-4433-9a28-1101eb9747a4">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]Have any of you had weddings where your teenage daughers were bridesmaids, if so how did it work out? 
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]

I haven't, but why would it be a problem? They wear the dress and stand up with you -- it's pretty basic.

HockeyFan4

wow.  sounds like you have some issues you need to resolve with your children before you worry about anything else.

Simply Fated

Looks like you're willing to give your older daughters the shaft in favor of the kid you had with your FI.
If you think it'll work out with the new kid being the flower girl, why do you think it wouldn't work out with your older kids being your bridesmaids?

I'd add your own kids to your side. He can have his sisters on his side.

And everyone lives happily ever after.... with very sore feet because they had to stand during your ceremony.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:4ad3ae10-27a3-4433-9a28-1101eb9747a4">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]Have any of you had weddings where your teenage daughers were bridesmaids, if so how did it work out? 
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't have kids, so...no. However, when SIL got married, both her boys stood up with her. When some of my other friends with kids have gotten married, their kids were always involved.  Plenty of my friends have also been BMs in their parents' weddings.</div><div>
</div><div>One of the regs here got married on July 4th. Her daughter is 21, and I'm pretty sure she was at least a BM, if not MOH.</div><div>
</div><div>How on earth would it be weird? </div>

DCordell

 Without including every conversation I have had with both of my daughters with whom I have a great relationship with, about the wedding, and their role I suppose it would be hard to give advice. Thanks for your effort.

 I think my request for advice on how to include everyone that I love would better suited elsewhere.

Snippylynn

Myself and my two sisters were BM's in our mother's second wedding. Was not an issue at all. 

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:f5d5b376-96c4-4005-bd5c-4b2bc2ad577e">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE] Without including every conversation I have had with both of my daughters with whom I have a great relationship with, about the wedding, and their role I suppose it would be hard to give advice. Thanks for your effort.  I think my request for advice on how to include everyone that I love would better suited elsewhere.
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]

Don't get all butthurt.

specialk84

If you want to include your daughters, ask them to be BMs. If your FI wants to include his sisters, he can ask them to stand on his side.

Regardless of all of that, asses need seats. Period. Scrounge up some chairs.

MrsL2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:f5d5b376-96c4-4005-bd5c-4b2bc2ad577e">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE] Without including every conversation I have had with both of my daughters with whom I have a great relationship with, about the wedding, and their role I suppose it would be hard to give advice. Thanks for your effort.  I <strong>think my request for advice on how to include everyone that I love would better suited elsewhere</strong>.
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]

What is that supposed to mean? They gave you their advice, which you had asked for. Like someone had said, have your daughters as bridesmaids and his sisters on his side. If your daughters are "joking" about not being in the wedding chances are they are a bit upset about it and just don't want to hurt your feelings.

I do not have any kids of my own, but my aunt had gotten remarried about 10yrs after her first husband had past, their daughter was 18. She was the MOH and everything worked out fine for them. Plus I thought it was very sweet and personal for her to have her daughter up there.

DCordell

I asked for advice on how to make it all work out... Advice on how to include everyone- were my exact words.

In none of my replies did I say that having my daughters be bridesmaids "would be wierd"
In none of my post or replies did I say that I didn't want my older daughters to be in my wedding.
And I do certainly resent the implications that I am giving my two older daughters the "shaft" to include my youngest daughter.

Maybe I should have made this a little more clear for you all.

I really do feel as a women trying to do the very best I can for everyone I love, I am really dissapointed here.

DCordell

Thank you Snippylynn,

kaitlynmichelle

Find some chairs for your other guests.

I was a bridesmaid when my mom married my step-dad.  I was 11 or 12.  It felt great to be included in their big day, so the girls 'jokingly' giving you a hard time about not being included probably isn't really a joke.  Especially with your youngest being a flower girl.  

DCordell

No one is butthurt, because there won't be any chairs.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:48295355-fd1e-42b8-9bd9-8089147c9f07">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]No one is butthurt, because there won't be any chairs.
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]

<div>I can't tell if this is supposed to be a joke or if you just have a poorly placed comma.</div><div>
</div><div>If it's a joke, nice one. Please ignore the following:</div><div>
</div><div>If it's a poorly placed comma and you meant to write "No one is butthurt because there won't be any chairs," I'm going to assume someone is lying to you. Not having chairs for your guests is just as bad as saying you aren't going to feed anyone at your wedding. It's one of those things that you JUST DON'T DO because it's incredibly rude.</div>

achiduck

Please do not ask your guests to stand. Having recently been to a cocktail wedding where there was only seating for 10% of the guests I can tell you first-hand how much it sucked. My feet hurt and I left early.

Provide a seat for every bum. If it's a cost issue to rent chairs, then cutback elsewhere. I'd much rather go a dry wedding or one without many flowers than have to stand.

DCordell

Thanks everyone, I have it figured out now.

MrsL2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:ab599a53-66a1-4d7b-bd37-3626906f7ec5">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's : I can't tell if this is supposed to be a joke or if you just have a poorly placed comma. If it's a joke, nice one. Please ignore the following: If it's a poorly placed comma and you meant to write "No one is butthurt because there won't be any chairs," I'm going to assume someone is lying to you. Not having chairs for your guests is just as bad as saying you aren't going to feed anyone at your wedding. <strong>It's one of those things that you JUST DON'T DO because it's incredibly rude.
</strong>Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

I now do agree with this. Last year when we were talking about what I would like for a wedding it was going to be at my parents house. If we did it there then there was no way we could have chairs because everyone would be rolling down a hill backwards. I am now very happy that we changed the place we plan to have our wedding.

I guess that is the only way I would say chairs would probably make things worse not better.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:28808b63-3bd5-4396-87b3-4e783427d2b5">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]I asked for advice on how to make it all work out... Advice on how to include everyone- were my exact words.
Posted by DCordell[/QUOTE]
We did give you advice on how to include your daughters and his sisters.

It works the same as though your daughters were your friends. They wear a dress, they walk down the aisle.
On his side, his sisters can either wear the same or similar dress as your girls will be wearing or he can choose something else.

MrsL2014

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:f02fb8ce-ecd4-4710-8af7-d9d2c451bb75">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's : We did give you advice on how to include your daughters and his sisters. It works the same as though your daughters were your friends. They wear a dress, they walk down the aisle. On his side, his sisters can either wear the same or similar dress as your girls will be wearing or he can choose something else.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

For the pic what is the site about? I looked at it for 2 seconds but since I am at work I dont get a lot of time to look at things. :)

DCordell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:8a1e5264-c79f-4c7f-9e91-3bd0ea3541bc">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's : I don't think you do, I think you're taking your ball and going home. Guess what, dude?  If I show up at a wedding that doesn't have a chair for me, I'm taking the herniated disc in my back, the nerve damage in my leg, and the tear in my knee home, along with my gift. 
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

Actually, I do. I have recieved some great advice and now I need to go and plan!

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moh-bridemaids-daughters-and-sils?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:71a014f6-de95-4113-be20-b53c409d2a9bPost:e283fedc-5e26-490a-affd-fc2e24761aa4">Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH- Bridemaids- Daughters and SIL's : For the pic what is the site about? I looked at it for 2 seconds but since I am at work I dont get a lot of time to look at things. :)
Posted by MrsL2014[/QUOTE]
Do you mean the pic in my sig?

It's to show support for marriage equality. You can make the white knots yourself and, like, carry them with your bouqet, which is what some girls on here did.
If you use the site, they'll send you a free one. If you want a kit for making a bunch of them, it's, like $25 for a set of 300.

You can also make a seperate (non-profit) donation to the site and it goes to raising awareness for marriage equality.