3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls????

pochaco4u

Hi there! Brides-to-be! I need your help for a question that's been bugging me...
My BIG day is set in 3 months! However, during the course of our long engagement, we promised my fiance's niece & li'l bro that they will be our flowergirl and ringbearer.
Now, will it be advisable to have 3 of each (so as not to leave anybody out) or will this be not such a hot idea? Also, if having multiples - what could the other flowergirls/ringbearers do? I mean do they have to carry something or they can just walk the aisle? Please let me know your thoughts! Thx!

kathrynhabibti

IMHO three of each is excessive. But unfortunately I have no ideas as to what the others could do.

TTiger03

My friend had a wedding with 6 kids and no adults.  I was helping her plan everything and suggested she have an adult escort them to the back (down the side... NOT the aisle) after the bride made it down the aisle.  That many kids can make for a lot of distractions.

She had each girl carry flowers in a basket and the boys escorted the girls down with a linked arm.

They were all a little older except her daughter (2 yr old).  The daughter ended up being carried by the bride's sister who was the one who escorted all the kids back outside the ceremony room.

It can be done.  As said above, if you already asked all 6, you really need to keep all 6.  Little ones (and adults) will have a hard time being "demoted".


ETA:  You need to find an adult who won't mind missing your ceremony and entertaining the kids if you do like she did.  All the kids were nieces and nephews and the sister didn't mind missing the ceremony.  She watched the ceremony video later. 
It wasn't my ideal, but since the sister didn't care, it worked. 
BTW, I was busy setting up the reception and missed the ceremony too.

[Deleted User]

well, to begin with, there are only 2 rings, so there's no reason to have 3 ringbearers.

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_3-ringbearers-3-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:abefb8d7-0932-4dfc-a955-56fbca830cc2Post:b3029452-222a-42d7-b2af-7c7437a2b1b4">Re: 3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls????</a>:
[QUOTE]well, to begin with, there are only 2 rings, so there's no reason to have 3 ringbearers.
Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

<div>I thought kids were just accessories anyway?</div>

skippylouwho

I just don't get having to have a gob of kids in a wedding ceremony. I'm there to see two adults get married, not be entertained by a pack of little kids.  That's just my opinion.

TTiger03

If you have already asked 3 boys it will be awfully hard to take it back now.  Even though there are only two rings, you can still have them walk the aisle.  I don't see that as any different than having a little boy who is too young the carry the actual rings so he just walks with a pillow and the best man has the rings.

Actually, thinking about it, my friend isn't the only bride I knew with that many boys. My cousin's wife's sister had 3 ring bearers and no flower girls.  I didn't go to the wedding, but my aunt said that everyone thought it was cute.  The bride included all her nephews.  There were no girls in the family at the time and all the boys are close in age so it would be really hard to single one out.  Family was important to her, so she couldn't dream of not having any of them.
I believe the boys walked together and all carried a little pillow.  None of them had the actual rings.

It's your wedding, so you decide who you want to participate.  If you decide on all three boys and girls (six total), I hope I gave you some good options of what they can carry/ do.

If you haven't asked the others yet, perhaps you can find other age appropriate jobs for them that don't include walking down the aisle.

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_3-ringbearers-3-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:abefb8d7-0932-4dfc-a955-56fbca830cc2Post:60987461-a205-4e78-917b-46494b3c30ac">Re: 3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls????</a>:
[QUOTE]If you have already asked 3 boys it will be awfully hard to take it back now.  Even though there are only two rings, you can still have them walk the aisle.  I don't see that as any different than having a little boy who is too young the carry the actual rings so he just walks with a pillow and the best man has the rings. Actually, thinking about it, my friend isn't the only bride I knew with that many boys. My cousin's wife's sister had 3 ring bearers and no flower girls.  I didn't go to the wedding, but my aunt said that everyone thought it was cute.  The bride included all her nephews.  There were no girls in the family at the time and all the boys are close in age so it would be really hard to single one out.  Family was important to her, so she couldn't dream of not having any of them. I believe the boys walked together and all carried a little pillow.  None of them had the actual rings. It's your wedding, so you decide who you want to participate.  If you decide on all three boys and girls (six total), I hope I gave you some good options of what they can carry/ do. If you haven't asked the others yet, perhaps you can find other age appropriate jobs for them that don't include walking down the aisle.
Posted by TTiger03[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That story made my head spin.</div><div>
</div><div>My second cousin's wife's sister twice removed had a wedding....

</div>

LesPaul

How old are they?  Have you already asked all 6 of them?  Seems like a bit much - you will need an adult to specifically assist these children in their roles.  Sounds like trying to herd kittens.

KentuckyKate

How many BMs and GM do you have?  If it's a large wedding party, it may seem a little more balanced than if it's just a MOH and BM, although I still think 6 children seems a little pageanty.

Also, keep in mind that you will have to invite the kids and all of their parents to the RD (and probably some of their siblings, too) and you would buy each child a gift, so it will quickly add a lot to your budget.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I went to a wedding with 4 flower girls and 3 ring bearers. It was excessive. 

Basically... they just walked down the aisle to their parents. They ranged in age from 2 to 7. 

TTiger03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_3-ringbearers-3-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:abefb8d7-0932-4dfc-a955-56fbca830cc2Post:53f6dd62-4800-407b-9f51-584e51359c5a">Re: 3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls???? : That story made my head spin. My second cousin's wife's sister twice removed had a wedding....
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]


What do you call the sister of your cousin's (not second cousin, BTW) wife?

Sorry you didn't get it.

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_3-ringbearers-3-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:abefb8d7-0932-4dfc-a955-56fbca830cc2Post:8d579f13-9d1a-4fcd-bbe8-672fb87220e2">Re: 3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls????</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls???? : What do you call the sister of your cousin's (not second cousin, BTW) wife? Sorry you didn't get it.
Posted by TTiger03[/QUOTE]

<div>Haha, no I got it.  It just sounded like a long title.</div>

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 3 Ringbearers & 3 Flower Girls???? : What do you call the sister of your cousin's (not second cousin, BTW) wife? Sorry you didn't get it.
Posted by TTiger03[/QUOTE]
Oh hmm. I don't think there's actually an easy title for that one!

lenergyrlah

cousin's sister-in-law is a little shorter although still long...is that the same thing as a cousin once removed?

squirrly

I think having a FG and RB is a little over the top to begin with.  3 of each is nuts.  If you haven't asked them yet, don't.

Once upon a time, when I was little, my sister and I were asked to walk around with enormous (heavy) silver bowls of birdseed for people to throw at my cousin and her new H as they left the reception.  That's all I've got for other "duties."

Why not have a kids dance at the reception instead?  Have all of them out on the dance floor with you and your H, and call it a day.