Inviting groom's friends to shower?

agu101

My mom is asking for a prelim shower guest list, so I'm trying to come up with one for her.  What are you ladies doing regarding inviting females that are friends of the groom?  My FI has a lot of female friends from college that I don't know very well.  They're definitely invited to the wedding, just not sure if I should also be including them for the shower, or if it should just be people that I'm friendly with?  
What about wives of the groomsmen that you may not know at all?  Most of them I've only met once, and it's usually been at their wedding.
TIA!

kateguess22

Hi agu101, I take it that your mom is hosting your bridal shower? Did she give you an idea of what size she is okay with? I know this is just your prelim shower guest list, but it could help you out if she could tell you what number she is comfortable with. I have thrown a bridal shower before, and the bigger it is the more expensive it is and the more work and time it is.

For my bridal shower, because we are on a tight budget, and because I'm having a small family-only wedding, I'm only inviting female relatives of mine and my fiance's who I am close with. In your case, I wouldn't invite the female friends of your fiance's who you don't know very well or the wives of the groomsment that you don't know at all. Just your closest female friends and relatives and your fiance's mom of course, any of his sisters, and any other of his female friends or family that he is very close to. If you haven't met them or hardly know them, that's a sign that he isn't very close with them!

I am also sending an invitation to my aunt who lives on the other side of the country even though I know she probably won't be able to make it. She's really important to me and I really do want her there so I want to send her one as a gesture. So keep that in mind and just invite the people who are really important to you and your fiance. You don't have to invite EVERY female on your wedding guest list.

Hilraythebride

For my shower, the host (my FI's Aunt) told me I can invite as many people as I want.  I think this makes it harder because I don't want to seem grabby and greedy if I invite to many people. I have about 20 people including my family that I want to invite so far.  I may invite a few girls from my FI's side that we have hung out with together a few times.  People won't be expected to be invited if they don't know, have never met, or really hung out with the bride.  Don't feel bad if you don't invite everyone!!

SparrowSong

I'd aim for around 20-30 guests total, close friends, immediate family, close family friends or friends of your parents. Inviting every female on the wedding guest list can come across rather gift grabby imo, plus huge showers can be pretty long and tedious. If I were in your position I would not invite the partners of your husbands friends, 

jessicabessica

I would not invite your FI's female friends or the female SOs of his male friends if you don't know them at all.  I didn't have them on my shower list, especially since my shower was in my hometown and our friends are all over--while some of my friends did come in for it, I woudln't expect my H's friends that I met a couple of times to do so.  I did invite my H's aunts and female cousins--they didn't come, because they were all out of town, but that seems to be how they do it in his family, so I wanted them to feel included.  

Beachy730

IMO if they wouldn't be invited to your wedding on their own, they shouldn't be invited to your shower.  So your FI's friends' spouses and GF's I wouldn't imvite, unless you are really close with them and do things alone with them (girls dinners, drinks, etc).  

His friends from college I definitely wouldn't invite unless you personally have a relationship with them.  

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-grooms-friends-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b9c448c1-cffe-4bb3-b80d-559e3ab9ea1bPost:b0adb490-9b50-4bca-9008-a0f2d55d90c4">Re: Inviting groom's friends to shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>IMO if they wouldn't be invited to your wedding on their own, they shouldn't be invited to your shower. </strong> So your FI's friends' spouses and GF's I wouldn't imvite, unless you are really close with them and do things alone with them (girls dinners, drinks, etc).   His friends from college I definitely wouldn't invite unless you personally have a relationship with them.  
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>I like this advice. However, my BIL's then-FI was invited to my shower, as it would have caused a huge uproar to exclude her. She sat there and bitched the whole time about how she didn't know me well enough.</div>

rebarobert2012

I don't think it's necessary to invite the groom's female friends to your shower unless they are also your close friends.  I'm only planning to invite my family, my fiance's immediate family, and my close friends to mine.