Is my baby really invited? I can't tell...

babylov

Hello all,I have recently been invited to a good friend’s wedding. Our invitation was addressed to me, my husband “and family”. (we have a 4 month old son). I was also told by the bride that she is inviting children. I was later told though (by the mother of the bride), that there were no allowances for space for the baby—no chair to put a booster on and no room for a stroller or car seat. Does this mean that he’s really not invited? If you choose to invite children to your wedding, are you supposed to consider where they will go? Or is it ok to assume the parents will hold them on their laps all night?

danieliza1127

If the invitation says "and Family" and you know kids are invited, then yes your baby is invited.  Since he's 4 months old, they might be assuming that you'll be holding him, using a stroller, or a carrier.

Knittibell

I would also think that the baby is included, but if she's a good friend, why not give her a call and ask her?

ohwhynot

Your baby is invited, as per the "and family" on the invitation.  I'm not sure I understand the rest of your question, though:  Why can't your baby be held by you or your parter and/or be in a carrier at your feet?  

babylov

Thanks for the replies. Yes, I plan to call and ask. I'm trying to get my ducks in a row before I do--it might be an uncomfortable conversation. I don't know if I'm expecting too much to ask for a chair (not a place setting at the table obviously) or a little real-estate to bring in a car seat. If it's true that there are no allowances for space for him, than it doesn't seem like he's invited to me...am I being too baby-centric?

shellydiane820

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-really-invited-cant-tell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:daf7908c-949f-4501-b25c-cd2075b70235Post:a60668de-e317-4353-9133-454d5ecd4af2">Re: Is my baby really invited? I can't tell...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the replies. Yes, I plan to call and ask. I'm trying to get my ducks in a row before I do--it might be an uncomfortable conversation. I don't know if I'm expecting too much to ask for a chair (not a place setting at the table obviously) or a little real-estate to bring in a car seat. If it's true that there are no allowances for space for him, than it doesn't seem like he's invited to me...am I being too baby-centric?
Posted by babylov[/QUOTE]

No, you sound prepared.  If I had gotten this call I wouldn't have minded answering questions.

danieliza1127

She might not give you a chair, but there would be space to put a carrier on the floor.  My MOH had a 3 month old at my wedding and she brought in his stroller and he slept in that.  My other BM had a 1 month old and when she wasn't holding her, she was in a carrier.

ohwhynot

How much real estate does a car seat need?  I can't imagine that people are going to be packed in like cattle in traincar, here.  If there's room for women to put down their purses, there's room for a standard-issue car seat.  I think you're overthinking this. 

quotequeen

I think they just meant they're not going to give him a spot at the table.  But you can put the carrier on the floor next to your chair.

babylov

Yes-hopefully you're right that there will be some floor space. Her mom seemed pretty adamant about the "no space anywhere" thing, and I just wasn't sure what to say in the moment. Hopefully a conversation with the bride will illuminate...

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-really-invited-cant-tell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:daf7908c-949f-4501-b25c-cd2075b70235Post:7d8a8705-16b9-4506-bb8a-00aae14ad49b">Re: Is my baby really invited? I can't tell...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes-hopefully you're right that there will be some floor space. Her mom seemed pretty adamant about the "no space anywhere" thing, and I just wasn't sure what to say in the moment. Hopefully a conversation with the bride will illuminate...
Posted by babylov[/QUOTE]

What a strange thing for her to say.  So she envisions people standing shoulder to shoulder with no room to turn or move?  I wonder if she has some sort of hidden agenda and is trying to discourage (against her daughter's clear wishes, as indicated by the invitation) people from bringing babies.

I'd ignore it - clearly in any kind of party space there will be plenty of room for a baby carrier!   Dress your little one extra cute and have a great time!

Birdie1483

I would ask your friend and probably expect the answer to be yes, your baby can come.

It just sounds like the bride's mom is being a Momzilla.

kebmtm071605

The MOB's wording sounds weird and rude to be honest, given that the bride invited your child.  Bring the baby in the carrier snapped into the stroller.  I wouldn't advise putting him on the floor just b/c people could trip over him.

strlzfan11

I would agree that mom is being a momzilla.  There's a chance that mom & bride has a disagreement about whether or not children should be invited and mom is pissed that she lost so she's giving guests with kids a hard time.  I can't think of a single wedding I've been to that hasn't had some space out of the way of the guests that you could put the carrier if you chose to hold him all night.  Also, once dinner is over there's a good chance that there will be an open seat at your table if guests will be moving around either on the dance floor or visiting with other guests they may know.  I wouldn't worry too much about it if I were you right now.  Send the RSVP back for your while family and if someone calls you about bringing the baby, you can address the situation then by gently reminding that "and family" on the invitation means that your son was invited.

LD1970

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_baby-really-invited-cant-tell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:daf7908c-949f-4501-b25c-cd2075b70235Post:7d8a8705-16b9-4506-bb8a-00aae14ad49b">Re: Is my baby really invited? I can't tell...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes-hopefully you're right that there will be some floor space. Her mom seemed pretty adamant about the "no space anywhere" thing, and I just wasn't sure what to say in the moment. Hopefully a conversation with the bride will illuminate...
Posted by babylov[/QUOTE]
Maybe the MOM is trying to discourage the attendance of babies?

Theresa626

I think the bride and her mother need to have a conversation because they probably have a difference of opinion. Ask the bride directly.  However, you might want to find a sitter anyway.  You won't have much fun if you can't stay out late and drink and it will be a loud environment for your baby.  

babylov

Thanks all for the comments.
Yes, we might end up going the baby sitter route regardless, especially if it's going to wrankle the MOB--seems like too much stress!