It's NOT a real kind of party.

kimbertreeeee

FI didn't say much to me last night after the conversation with his mother until right before bed. He said, "I don't really know what to believe here. I called (FBIL) first to get as much information as I could before I called (MIL) and he said he didn't know anything about the party. He asked (FSIL) while I was on speakerphone, and she didn't know anything about the party. I called (MIL) and she had no idea what I was talking about either. I told her I would be really pissed and would not stay at that party, and she promised it wasn't happening." I told him exactly what my conversation was with FSIL again, and he said, "I don't know. I'm not mad at anybody, but I'm really confused."

This morning I wake up to this email from FMIL:

Kimberlee,

I have always had a good relationship with my son, and I believe I have been very welcoming to you, which is why I am so very thrown by your attempt to sever that bond. I know you will be his wife very soon and I have no desire to compete with you on any level. I assumed you knew that I am not a child who plays silly games. I am hurt, but I can find it in my heart to forgive you.

Love,

(FMIL)

I texted FSIL last night asking what the deal was, and she didn't respond. I called this morning and again, no response. I am so mad and confused.

EDIT: This is an update to THIS post.

AddieCake

That's so bizzare. I forget from your previous post how you even found out about the party. I'm a little uncomfortable that your fiance said he didn't know what to believe. Was he implying you made it up or were wrong? 

SKPM

In Response to Re:It's NOT a real kind of party.:[QUOTE]I am hurt, but I can find it in my heart to forgive you.Love,FMIL Posted by kimbertreeeee[/QUOTE]
FFS. What does she need to forgive you for? The whole follow up is confusing; FSIL is just denying that she ever said anything? I'm sorry that your future inlaws are so weird.

AddieCake

Thank you, Stage!

renegade gaucho

So either your FSIL made up the party in order to make you feel bad and create animosity between you and FMIL, or the party is real and she's now clamming up because she doesn't want to be on FMIL's $hit list for telling you about it. Did she know you were on speakerphone when she feigned ignorance?  Did you ask her why she told you about this party if she doesn't know anything about it?  If not, I think you need to speak to her directly, either in person or over the phone, and ask her to clear things up.

As for FMIL, I agree with PP that responding over email might not be the best approach.  You mentioned in your other post that she's made no secret of the fact that she doesn't like you.  How has your fiance dealt with her when she's treated you poorly in the past? 

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_its-not-a-real-kind-of-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e8afba22-3b2e-4059-8fb2-e9c27451d4daPost:a505d8ac-68d1-4c0c-8abe-1182c00a751b">Re: It's NOT a real kind of party.</a>:
[QUOTE]Did she know you were on speakerphone when she feigned ignorance?  Did you ask her why she told you about this party if she doesn't know anything about it? 
Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>OP wasn't on speakerphone. Fiance, BIL and SIL were. 

</div>

ZeroOrchestra

So it's either FMIL or FSIL, hopefully they are not in it together. The whole thing is really bizarre. I agree that a sit down with you, FI and SIL would be a good start. I'm sorry, and I hope you are able to get to the bottom of it, and that FI understands this is in no way any of your doing.

Jager1219

Just wanted to add - OP I've been following your post & it just so happens that I have good friends who are moving to Chicago at the end of the month.  Tonight they're having a "Last Hurrah" (literally that's what they called it) which is basically just a goodbye party.  Just found the timing of it funny.

daveANDkristen

Geez, I really don't know what to say.  This situation is craptastic all around.  I would speak to your FSIL whenever she calls you back and ask her what she really knows.  I would also probably apologize for getting her involved, although it wasn't your intention, and just explain that you felt it was important that your FI know about these plans. 

Ignore the email from your FMIL.  Speak to her in person whenever you are comfortable, but it doesn't sound like you have shitt to apologize for, so she can stuff her "forgiveness"

QueerFemme

I would call your FBIL and FSIL and set a time to talk with you AND your FI.  Ask her point blank, in front of everyone whether the party was true, and if not, why did she tell you that the party was going to happen.    If they don't respond to your calls, have your FI call.  And honestly, I would ignore the email from FMIL until you talk to everyone else.

You don't have anything to be forgiven for.  And, once this is cleared up, you can talk with FMIL in person and say that there was either a huge miscommunication (or misinformation) and you had every right to talk to your FI about your concerns about it or you can tell her to shove it, if the party turns out to actually have been true.

Simply Fated

There is a really good chance here that FSIL is denying it so she doesn't get in trouble for tattling. I don't blame her.

button6004

OP, I feel your pain. My FMIL sends me emails like that and it drives me crazy. Your best bet is to ignore her email, though if she's anything like mine she will keep emailing you weekly. I seriously would be shocked if this party didn't happen even after your FIs conversation with her. If she truly wasn't planning something which I doubt she will now. Good luck and definitely keep us posted. At the very least, feel free to PM me anytime to vent I think we both have crazy FMILs in common.

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:It's NOT a real kind of party.:[QUOTE]Well I blame her. She's a liar. She broke a confidence and then got stuck in the middle and is lying to get out of it. Terrible. Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]
The FSIL did OP and fianc a favor by letting her in on the plan. They're throwing her under the bus and THAT'S terrible.
FI should have asked to speak to her without people on speakerphone.

MillieMae92

I honestly don't mean this disrespectfully, I mostly lurk on here, but is Simply Fated a troll? I feel like every post is dramatic, unnecessarily mean, and it's like the full post was just skimmed through, not really read, but I feel like no one responds to her like other trolls. I don't feel this way about any other posters except for obvious trolls, so I'm just asking if I'm missing something. If not, my apologies, I think we just have a different way of communicating.

emeejeeayen

I think FSIL is choosing your FMIL's side, and I think that's effed. Call her out on it. 

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:It's NOT a real kind of party.:[QUOTE]I honestly don't mean this disrespectfully, I mostly lurk on here, but is Simply Fated a troll? I feel like every post is dramatic, unnecessarily mean, and it's like the full post was just skimmed through, not really read, but I feel like no one responds to her like other trolls. I don't feel this way about any other posters except for obvious trolls, so I'm just asking if I'm missing something. If not, my apologies, I think we just have a different way of communicating. Posted by MillieMae92[/QUOTE]
lolwut?

Peledreamsofrain

Haha, does that make her our official Knot bodyshield?  Way to go SF, taking them for the team!.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_its-not-a-real-kind-of-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e8afba22-3b2e-4059-8fb2-e9c27451d4daPost:7186d463-4c07-4cce-8df3-cfe7efc00d9e">Re: It's NOT a real kind of party.</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha, does that make her our official Knot bodyshield?  Way to go SF, taking them for the team!.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]
Just doing my part to help the masses.