Correct Wording for NO plus one

junebug9879

How do you correctly address the invite to insure that the person knows they can not bring a date? Also, what do you do if they just simply show up with one. We are having a small wedding, and can not handle any additional guests. Any ideas? Thanks

girl2bewed

On the invitation you only address it to the one person, but a LOT of people ignore that, so you should put ___ seats reserved in your honor.

If they RSVP alone and show up with a guest, which would be very rude of them..but it would also be very rude of you to turn them away AT your wedding. I can't imagine they would do this though.

banana468

It's how you address the envelope - not the wording of the invitation.

Address the envelope only to those you wish to invite.  If you want to make it very clear, write out the response cards ot that there are X seats reserved (this can backfire) but write out each person's name so that all the guest needs to do is check next to __accepts or __declines.

Just a word of caution/advice.  If anyone is IN a relationship (dating, engaged, married, living together) then you need to invite the person with his/her significant other.  If you don't invite established social units, you'd be out of line as well.

loop0406

I agree 100% with banana468

If the person you're inviting is seeing someone or married, you must invite them with a guest.

Also, you can include "2 seats are reserved in your honor" along with their name and __accept __decliine on the rsvp card so they can know exactly who you are inviting

misscarolb

Agree with PP, you have to be prepared for this to happen. Some people will r.s.v.p yes and then not show up (my sister had 10 no shows at her wedding of 120 ppl) but some people might show up with a guest when they didn't rsvp for one. At a larger wedding it's smart to have an extra table, or extra seats at a few tables just in case. In a small wedding I'd still have a few extra seats and make sure your caterer is prepared just in case. 

In no way should you turn them away at your wedding. If the invitee is someone close to you and this is a common practice for them, it's up to you whether or not to mention it after-the-fact. But could you imagine if you were brought as a date to a wedding and then the bride made a big stink about how you weren't supposed to be there?

When the day comes, just accept what happens. You'll be much happier for it!

junebug9879

Thanks for the thoughts. But it all comes back to money. Sadly if people are rude enough to bring a guest when they have been told not to, I'm the one left paying for their guests meals. What do I do then? We have no extra money!

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_correct-wording-plus-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:0281a773-a34a-4b9e-84cc-3f7e3b360496Post:b3a8ecbf-cd12-4232-9993-e35bb39de501">Re: Correct Wording for NO plus one</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the thoughts. But it all comes back to money. Sadly if people are rude enough to bring a guest when they have been told not to, I'm the one left paying for their guests meals. What do I do then? We have no extra money!
Posted by junebug9879[/QUOTE]

As long as you're still inviting people in relationships with their SOs, all you can do is give someone at the front of your reception a list of invited guests.  See if that person will do seating assignments rather than do a table of place cards.

If the person has two when only one was supposed to attend, the person says, "Oh, regretfully we only have you down for one."  Then it's the venue's issue to turn the person away.

BUT, if someone responds for more guests than you invited, you can call and explain that the invitation was only for those on the envelope.  Don't ignore a response for extras.