Fiance doesn't think we need a professional photographer

kat & matt

I need some advice on how to handle this. My fiance has a friend who he says "takes good pictures". I want a professional, experienced wedding photographer. We keep butting heads on this. Any suggestions?

Angelface225

Tell him that in 10 years, all you'll have from this wedding is your rings and pictures? Food and photographer were my 2 priority expenses!

QueerFemme

we almost went this route. We had a friend that does photography on the side. We originally planned on going with her.  She offered to do a quick engagement photo shoot, and we were REALLY dissapointed with the photos.  I'm so glad we did that e-shoot because we ended up switching photographers.

Some of the pictures were out of focus, some of them just had awful shading, which could have been resolved by her just telling us to move our heads one way or another. In a few cases, the photos were awesome, but one of us was slouching or had our hands weird.  An amateur isn't going to pick up on those things.

MoonlightSilver

Ask to see the pictures your FI's friend does. Pull some pictures from your favorite professionals and compare. 

kat & matt

Thanks, ladies

Peledreamsofrain

Clonk your FI on the head for me.  Maybe a couple of times for good measure.  Your pics are how you will remember your wedding.  They better be damn good.

manateehugger

Well, I will say that not everyone DOES care that much about photos, so the idea that anyone who doesn't shell out for a pro photog will end up regretting it is presumptuous. However, it sounds like photos ARE important to you. So stress that to your FI and maybe try compromising on another aspect of the wedding. Cut the cute favors you were wanting to do and go with less/cheaper flowers to help make up the difference in the cost. Or give in and let him have his line dance or pick for the recessional music, etc.

Thank you so much for saying this! Photography is way down the list of priorities for us - kind of a if there's room in the budget thing. But I agree with the rest of this advice, OP. Also, try explaining to him that "taking good pictures" doesn't mean his friend knows how to take pictures of a wedding, pose people, get good shots without being in the way, etc. Also, if it's a budget thing (which it is for us), try to shop around for pro's who are on the less expensive side. 

Edited for spelling.

TeddiD34

IMO, the photographer is the most important $$ you will spend for your wedding. Other than the license, it's the one other place that you MUST have as a priority to spend money on.

You'll regret it in 20 years, looking back at poor quality photos, saying "why didn't we just spend the extra cash"?

wittykitty14

I agree with you.  Not counting the marriage itself, there are really only two things that last longer than the wedding day: any photos/videos and your wedding bands, if you have them.  FI aren't breaking the bank for our photographer, but we made sure to get a good one.  The majority of what we're spending our money on for the wedding was the rings.  We wanted to make sure that we loved what we'd be seeing the rest of our lives.  The same can be said about photos.

I can appreciate that your FI wants to save money and use his friend.  We had a friend do our engagement photos and they look fantastic.  But we still wanted to hire a pro for the wedding.  My friends got married last summer and had a friend do their photos.  They only paid her $200 for doing it, and they were happy.  Personally, I think their photos are horrible (although I'd never say it).  What mattered most to them was that they were married, and they didn't want to break the bank doing that.

Have you seen this person's photos?  They may be quite good.  I wouldn't necessarily discard the idea right off the bat.

If you want to find a compromise between amateur and spending $$$ on a pro, is there a nearby college that has photography students?  While they might not have as much experience photogrpahing events, they'll probably have the training and skills required for taking excellent photos, and would charge less.  Just a thought.

Good luck to you!

lisabeats

My FI didn't have much to say at first, but he actually heard from some other male friends who had recently got married that photography/videography is one of the most important aspects of wedding planning. This made him more interested in finding a professional with more experience, versus the woman we had initially agreed to work with. It doesn't mean you need to break the bank, you just need to find someone you both trust, can enjoy spending the day with, and that has experience "wrangling" weddings.

artbyallie

I'm kind of on the fence about this. On the one hand, yes, you want some good pictures to remember. But on the other hand, you're not going to look at them as often as you think you will. (Says the woman who has 5 bridal portraits on the wall and 2 wedding pictures on the bookcase, all in the living room... but I swear I don't notice them any more.) And too, some amateurs or budding professionals are better than others. Sometimes better than 'real' professionals, honestly.

vanityink

Photographer was high up on our priority list, and I'm so, so glad. I got awful food poisoning the night before our wedding and so the entire day is a little vague to me. It was great getting to see all the pictures since everything was such a blur. 

We also didn't break the bank since we negotiated with our photographer. Since our wedding was "off season" (early April) we got her for about 1/3 going rate. 

LAM524

We have a friend who is a professional and my FI immediately suggested we use him. My feelings when it comes to using friends and family...ummmmmm No! I like the security of having legal recourse if something is done wrong or not done at all, especially something as important as my wedding. I would never 'sue" family or friends. Thankfully my FI agreed and we recently contracted with a non-friend photographer!

amaryann210

As someone who does wedding photography as a side job, I will not work a wedding for a friend.  It's a tough job- you have to be where the action is at all times and if you know the people at the wedding, you're going to be distracted and want to enjoy yourself somewhat.  I agree with PP's who say to take a look at his work, too. 

keochan

We're having 2 4th year photo majors do our wedding, they'll be there the whole day, their portfolios are great and they're very eager to work with us for what we want so they can get more experience and continue their portfolio (they both want to be wedding photogs) and is costing us less than half what pros cost here. Look at the quality of the friend and maybe try to get your fi to compromise 

RWS2011

We had to rework our budget twice, once because I realized that while we could afford a particular amount for the wedding didn't mean we had to spend that much.  FI was happy, as this is his 2nd wedding, and he preferred low key and low cost.  Then, I was laid off.  For about a month, we didn't even discuss the wedding.  Planning was indefinitely on hold.  I did some research and found a way to cut our former (lower) budget in half, but that meant dropping the photographer. 

We discussed it, and he said at his first wedding, they paid for the photographer and book.  They never once looked at it.  Our compromise was to see if our friend, who is a professional photographer and has shot 40+ weddings, could to a portrait shoot with just us and my kiddo before the wedding.  That way, we have a few professional pictures and while the rest of the day is captured by those in attendance.  I feel perfectly comfortable with this decision, and anticipate no regrets.  We would rather spend the money on being able to gather with our family and close friends.

rel1988

We hired a friend of a friend who is finishing up her degree in photography. This was a compromise for us...We couldn't justify spending $2-3k on pictures and she charged us only $500 for both engagement pics, wedding coverage ALL day and we get the rights to all pictures. I know this wouldn't be up to the caliper some of you had, but she is knowledgable in shading, lighting, etc due to her class knowledge and she does a great job.

MoonlightSilver

If I ever (God forbid) need to get married again, and if for whatever reason we decided just to collect the photos our guests take, I would definitely spread via word of mouth that we didn't have a photographer. As a guest, I would take a LOT more photos if I knew the couple didn't hire a professional. 

kat & matt

I made a spreadsheet with 32 tabs of different  photographers (with links and rates). I have some really terrible ones up to the ones I know we can't afford. We are going to look at it together tomorrow.

 I noted on one "looks like the photographer used a disposable camera". Charleston prices are no joke. That cheap photographer was still over $1,000. But you get what you pay for here. I'm pretty sure I can find a less expensive dress to make up for it. Wish me luck!!