How to address invite to couple that's divorced with shared custody of child.

studiodeb

Help!  I've done a lot of research on all the etiquette boards and this is one I can't find.  We are including children in our wedding and understand that their names are to be included on the wedding invites (we are not doing internal envelopes and so are listing all guests names on the external invite envelope).

We are friends with a couple that has divorced and shares custody of their daughter.  Do we list the daughter on BOTH of their invites?  Or only one? Note we are also allowing each of them to also bring an adult guest if desired.

Help!

manateehugger

I'd just write the daughter's name on both parents' invites. That way neither of the parents feels slighted. You know there's only one of her, so it's not a big deal if they both RSVP for her. 

Have you thought about how you're going to do the seating arrangement of the exes and the daughter?

Edited for grammar.

OliveOilsMom

Does the daughter live with one parent more than the other?  If so, I would put the daughter on that invite.  As for the seating, I would probably ask the parents separately, how they would prefer the seating go.  If they don't mind sitting together, do that, but if they want to sit apart.  Perhaps have an extra chair with the other parent, so the daughter can go visit both parents throughout the wedding and have a place to sit.