Dear Prudence,
I've been dating a kind, sensitive, wonderful man for about a year.
Three months ago, I unexpectedly became pregnant, despite meticulously
using several forms of birth control. While I may be open to the idea of
having children someday, I was recently unemployed, about to lose my
apartment, and not in the right place to bring another life into the
world. I had an abortion. I'm confident my decision was the right one,
but I'm afraid it will destroy my relationship. My boyfriend lost his
own father to a tragic accident at a young age and was raised by a
horrible single mother. She abused and berated him, convincing him it
was somehow his fault his father had died. Amazingly, he’s grown into a
healthy, well-adjusted young man. However, as an only child, passing on
his father's genes and breaking the cycle of abusive parenting are very
important to my boyfriend. It would devastate him to know I robbed him
of that opportunity. Should I tell him about the abortion? I feel like
he deserves to know, but I can't imagine breaking his heart that way.
How do I live with the guilt?