Getting Married on a Military Base - Guests don't understand requirements!

firefightermeg

My fiance and I are getting married on Dover AFB in October. All we are asking is that guests who do not have a military or DoD ID provide their driver's license number and date of birth. Security Forces needs it so the guests can access the base and I have to have the list to them AT LEAST 10 business days before the wedding. I have been fielding TONS of questions on why the information is required! Its getting on my nerves because people don't understand that in a post 9-11 world you can't just waltz onto a major military installation just by saying that you're there for a wedding. Then I get the people who question why we would have it on base to begin with. There are not many places to have an indoor, interfaith (my fiance is Jewish and I am not) wedding in Dover, Delaware to begin with. The venues that are actually nice also cost a pretty penny. The whole ceremony/reception is costing us $2000 for 75 people at the base chapel and at the base club. How do I deal with this? I have most people's info but there are a few stragglers that I feel like I have to drag it out of. Any one ever been in this situation?

Signed,
The soon to be wife of a crusty old Air Force Sergeant.

manjermj

I think it's understandable that people will be confused or want to question it. We have to realize that most people don't have any or a very limited connection to the military, so they probably just don't understand. If people don't get you the information, just give them a call with an explanation and ask for it. Simple as that. 

blackbutterflyxo

I agree with you. We are getting married at The Tides near Patrick AFB and that was my biggest fear that is going to be on post and I would get that question. Luckily is its outside of base. Not to be mean but once you say its military protocol because 9/11 it should click.  But good look on the getting the information

CLI242009

I do not serve, nor does my FI but I would like to give my support to the OP.

 I have retired military in my family so I know from stories how strict security is and I don't see why those you are inviting don't get it. I mean it's for security!  You are walking onto a location that may be housing weapons/fire power that should not be toyed with. 

I hope you do not go through too much stress with this. I completely understand why the military bases need to do this, I wish you luck!!! I would do what blackbutterflyxo said - any mention of 9/11 should make it click. 

Jen4948

I just want to offer you my support-my mother is also wife of a crusty old Air Force Sergeant.  (Actually, he-my dad-was honorably discharged decades ago, but he was serving when they were married.)  I'm sorry these people don't get it-you might have to tell them bluntly that if they don't provide the information, they otherwise can't get onto base and won't be able to attend your wedding, and it's on base because that for you and your FI is the best place to have it.

Chojlink25

I completely get it. We are talking about having our reception at a Navy base in San Diego and they require that kind of information as well. In fact, they require the social security numbers and DOB of the vendors (and employees working) as well. I think with today's society and all of the mishaps with personal information and idenity theft, people have gotten very protective of their personal information. And I agree with manjermj in that most people don't have the knowledge or experience with military to understand it. I think directly calling those that are giving you a hard time and explaining why would help. Or try explaining it in a different way and relate to them with examples like: some jobs have ID cards you need to swipe to get in and out of the building, and in order to visit those people, you have to go to the receptionist and often show an ID and sign a form to get into the building, or even Costco- you have to have an ID to get in there and shop....but you have to give your personal information in order to get that ID and access. I've noticed, in my experience, trying to relate things in a "civilian" way really helps those that don't understand. 

If you have already done that and they are still being resistant, then you might want to go in a more stern approach and simply tell them the facts- without this information, they will not be allowed on base thus, unable to attend your wedding. That is a little more harsh but it is a fact and the reality. 

Hope this helps!

LadyMorvenMacBeth

I'm not in the military, and neither is FI, but my best friend and her husband both serve for the British Army. They had the ceremony on base because they are based in Cyprus and it was the only place people spoke really good English, but the reception was off base. We had to supply a photocopy of our drivers license, and a photocopy of our passport AND a reference of someone on base at the time. Then when we got to the gates we had to get our fingerprints taken. So I get how the tight the security is. I don't see why people don't get it actually. You are going to a place where they hold serious weapons, plus a tonne of other stuff. Did you think you could just stroll in?

People are silly. Just put massive pressure on the people that haven't given you the info you need yet.

Weddinator

Can you get your wedding pics with F22 Raptor plane? With a flames coming from a tail of the plane? I could not even expect they would allow large group of civilian guests to visit AFB.

mysticl

Weddinator said:

Can you get your wedding pics with F22 Raptor plane? With a flames coming from a tail of the plane? I could not even expect they would allow large group of civilian guests to visit AFB.

Yes, they do allow civilians to visit military bases.  My wedding was on a Navy base.  They also hold concerts that are open to the public on military bases.  There are just certain security procedures that need to be followed.  The civilians have to enter through certain gates.  Certain areas of the base are off limits to them.  If they are there for a wedding or similar event (retirement party, birthday party, etc.) they need to be on the list.  No crashers allowed.  

ryanashleyr

We are in the same situation. My husband and I did a quickie wedding last year and are having our "BIG" wedding on McGuire AFB. We also have to get guest's DL number and DOB. I have been trying to spread the information by word of mouth before sending out our invites. I don't know if it helps but this is what our response cards look like: Kindly respond by the eighteenth of October JOHN SMITH: _____ HAPPILY ACCEPTS _____ REGRETFULLY DECLINES JANE SMITH: _____ HAPPILY ACCEPTS _____ REGRETFULLY DECLINES PLEASE INITIAL EACH GUEST'S ENTREE CHOICE: _______ CHICKEN IN WHITE WINE GARLIC SAUCE _______ LONDON BROIL _______ LOBSTER RAVIOLI IN BLUSH SAUCE FOR ENTRY TO MCGUIRE AFB PLEASE INCLUDE FULL NAME DRIVERS LICENSE NUMBER AND STATE ON THE BACKSIDE OF RESPONSE CARD ___________________________________________________________________- I'm hoping that this will be self explanatory and we won't get much push back. I know this sounds mean but it is our special day so if people really don't want to give us that information then they cant come on base. Plain and simple. Good luck with your special day!

mysticl

ryanashleyr said:

We are in the same situation. My husband and I did a quickie wedding last year and are having our "BIG" wedding on McGuire AFB. We also have to get guest's DL number and DOB. I have been trying to spread the information by word of mouth before sending out our invites. I don't know if it helps but this is what our response cards look like: Kindly respond by the eighteenth of October JOHN SMITH: _____ HAPPILY ACCEPTS _____ REGRETFULLY DECLINES JANE SMITH: _____ HAPPILY ACCEPTS _____ REGRETFULLY DECLINES PLEASE INITIAL EACH GUEST'S ENTREE CHOICE: _______ CHICKEN IN WHITE WINE GARLIC SAUCE _______ LONDON BROIL _______ LOBSTER RAVIOLI IN BLUSH SAUCE FOR ENTRY TO MCGUIRE AFB PLEASE INCLUDE FULL NAME DRIVERS LICENSE NUMBER AND STATE ON THE BACKSIDE OF RESPONSE CARD ___________________________________________________________________- I'm hoping that this will be self explanatory and we won't get much push back. I know this sounds mean but it is our special day so if people really don't want to give us that information then they cant come on base. Plain and simple. Good luck with your special day!

Her special day was almost a year ago.  

Knottie3135957

1-it's YOUR wedding so it's YOUR choice on location. If they're whining about location, I would uninvite them. Ain't nobody got time for that!!!
2-If they don't send copies of driver's license, registration, and insurance in time, then they can wait in line with the rest of the people trying to get on base. So tell them to plan an extra hour for vehicle registration (you can still add them to the list that you're sponsoring).

kmmssg

Knottie3937987 said:

1-it's YOUR wedding so it's YOUR choice on location. If they're whining about location, I would uninvite them. Ain't nobody got time for that!!! 2-If they don't send copies of driver's license, registration, and insurance in time, then they can wait in line with the rest of the people trying to get on base. So tell them to plan an extra hour for vehicle registration (you can still add them to the list that you're sponsoring).

Chill out there New Knottie.  Civilians just don't always understand why all of that is needed and with rampant identity theft these days it isn't too hard to undertand their reluctance.  You just need to educate them POLITELY.

Also, the OP hasn't been active here since December 2013.  From her posts after her wedding, things went very poorly in the marriage.

kyrgyzstan

kmmssg said:

Also, the OP hasn't been active here since December 2013.  From her posts after her wedding, things went very poorly in the marriage.

UM. Holy wow. 

kmmssg

WishIcouldbeinthe'stan said:

show previous quotes

kmmssg said:

Also, the OP hasn't been active here since December 2013.  From her posts after her wedding, things went very poorly in the marriage.

UM. Holy wow. 

Yeah, her post history is really sad.

Sammy0709

kmmssg said:

show previous quotes

WishIcouldbeinthe'stan said:

kmmssg said:

Also, the OP hasn't been active here since December 2013.  From her posts after her wedding, things went very poorly in the marriage.

UM. Holy wow. 

Yeah, her post history is really sad.


I think she meant "um holy wow why would you say that?"

kyrgyzstan

Sammy0709 said:

show previous quotes

WishIcouldbeinthe'stan said:

kmmssg said:

Also, the OP hasn't been active here since December 2013.  From her posts after her wedding, things went very poorly in the marriage.

UM. Holy wow. 

Yeah, her post history is really sad.

I think she meant "um holy wow why would you say that?"

Nope. I went and read her posts. I meant wow at her posts.