Question about Catholic Ceremony (kinda long)

KSerafin17 · October 2012

Hey Ladies-- I am hoping someone can help me out here. I was raised Catholic my whole life, but have not really been a part of the church for a long time. At first, I wanted to make my parents (mostly my father) happy by getting married in a Catholic Church. After joining a church, reserving out date, and planning the wedding around that...I have changed my mind.

The church we orginally reserved is an hour away from our reception venue. I don't like the fact that it is so far way and my guests will have to make that drive. I did look into a church closer to the venue, by the time tables didn't work out.

I have talked to my parents and my FMIL and they have all assured me that they do not mind if we do not get married in a church. My dad's only stipulation was that he prefer it be indoors, not out. That is fine with me.

Now, the question....I am wondering if we can still have a Catholic ceremony at our venue if it is indoor. I know through my research, many priests will not marry us outside of the church, but I wasnt sure if that was OUTSIDE, or all together outside the walls of the church. Of course I tried to call the priest, but he is seriously the busiest man alive apparently and I can NEVER get a hold of him so in the meantime, i thought id ask you ladies.

TIA!

DMoore421 · October 2012

NO, a catholic priest cannot marry a couple outside of the church... at least as far as i know they never can. Even if it is indoors, it is not in a church so they can't do it.
You could probably find a minister that can follow a general ceremony (without the mass portion) but he will not be a catholic priest and it will not be considered married in the church.

I was raised catholic and as far as i know I am the only person getting married in my family that really has no ties to the church anymore so it is a learning experience for the rest of my family as everyone has always been married in the church...

Jlp818 · October 2012

Are you both confirmed?
If so, sadly no, a priest cannot marry you anywhere but a catholic church.

KSerafin17 · October 2012

Thank you ladies. This is what I thought! umpf. So that leads me to another questions... should we still go through with our Pre Cana classes this winter? Also, if we do not get married by a catholic priest in a church, can our children still be raised and baptized in a Catholic Chruch? I am sorry to sound so ignorant when it comes to these things, I just have not been part of the Catholic church for so long and it is easier to ask you ladies than be judged by someone in the chuch when I ask them!

Jlp818 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_question-about-catholic-ceremony-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:ced6c976-b651-473a-9e31-bebe3c5e3b87Post:513d04bf-0822-4940-a1d3-4fa757495b4b">Re: Question about Catholic Ceremony (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you ladies. This is what I thought! umpf. So that leads me to another questions... should we still go through with our Pre Cana classes this winter? Also, if we do not get married by a catholic priest in a church, can our children still be raised and baptized in a Catholic Chruch? I am sorry to sound so ignorant when it comes to these things, I just have not been part of the Catholic church for so long and it is easier to ask you ladies than be judged by someone in the chuch when I ask them!
Posted by KSerafin17[/QUOTE]

You can still go through with the Pre Cana classes if you want! But if you are not getting married by a priest you don't have to.
Yep! You can still baptise your kids and raise them catholic even if you don't get married in the church. (One of my sisters got married outside with a JP and both her kids are baptised!)
(We are Roman Catholic)

KSerafin17 · October 2012

Well that makes me feel a little better because I know we will want to have our children baptized. I think we may still go through the Pre Cana as well if the priest allows us- just to help us prepare for marriage.

If this were you, would you feel comfortable asking the priest for any suggestions on someone who would marry us or would you just tell him that you want to get married outside the church and look for options on your own.

I dont know why, but the church intimidates me. I feel bad that i havent gone in so long that when I need something, I feel guilty ...

Jlp818 · October 2012

I think it would totally depend on the priest. If he seems nice enough and open, let him know your situation and maybe he can help you figure something out!
The church can definitely be intimidating! (We are not regulars either.) Are you planning on becoming part of the church? Trust me they want you back so they should be willing to help you back into the fold. Try to find a church with a welcoming community. There are less stuffy ones out there!

KSerafin17 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_question-about-catholic-ceremony-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:ced6c976-b651-473a-9e31-bebe3c5e3b87Post:ee471081-885f-415e-8795-9d4c07929dff">Re: Question about Catholic Ceremony (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it would totally depend on the priest. If he seems nice enough and open, let him know your situation and maybe he can help you figure something out! The church can definitely be intimidating! (We are not regulars either.) Are you planning on becoming part of the church? Trust me they want you back so they should be willing to help you back into the fold. Try to find a church with a welcoming community. There are less stuffy ones out there! :)
Posted by Jlp818[/QUOTE]

Thank you for all your responses. You are truly made me feel better about all of this :). We already joined a Catholic Church by our house that we have been attending in preparation for the wedding we thought we were going to have there and I do intend to keep going and eventually raise children in that church. So I am hoping all this will help our cause when I ask the priest about getting married outside the church haah!

Again, thank you so much!

Jlp818 · October 2012

You're welcome!!

drandreasalazar · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_question-about-catholic-ceremony-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:ced6c976-b651-473a-9e31-bebe3c5e3b87Post:bf37a4bb-1e4f-4de1-a2c8-5be0609b7654">Question about Catholic Ceremony (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Ladies-- I am hoping someone can help me out here. I was raised Catholic my whole life, but have not really been a part of the church for a long time. At first, I wanted to make my parents (mostly my father) happy by getting married in a Catholic Church. After joining a church, reserving out date, and planning the wedding around that...I have changed my mind. The church we orginally reserved is an hour away from our reception venue. I don't like the fact that it is so far way and my guests will have to make that drive. I did look into a church closer to the venue, by the time tables didn't work out. I have talked to my parents and my FMIL and they have all assured me that they do not mind if we do not get married in a church. My dad's only stipulation was that he prefer it be indoors, not out. That is fine with me. Now, the question....I am wondering if we can still have a Catholic ceremony at our venue if it is indoor. I know through my research, many priests will not marry us outside of the church, but I wasnt sure if that was OUTSIDE, or all together outside the walls of the church. Of course I tried to call the priest, but he is seriously the busiest man alive apparently and I can NEVER get a hold of him so in the meantime, i thought id ask you ladies. TIA!
Posted by KSerafin17[/QUOTE]
no

ftrmrsweatherdon · October 2012

I went to a wedding once that was a Catholic Wedding Outside.

Sounds impossible right?

The couple with their parents went to the church the night before the actual wedding and got married in the church. The next day the priest came out to the site and "re-married" them. Although they were already married under the church!

Its an option if you really would like to make your father happy but still have your dream wedding.

KSerafin17 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2013-weddings_question-about-catholic-ceremony-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:26a515ec-8009-4599-b81d-5edee3b3fb3cDiscussion:ced6c976-b651-473a-9e31-bebe3c5e3b87Post:2dfc98c9-099b-41c7-9db7-1189ade84341">Re: Question about Catholic Ceremony (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I went to a wedding once that was a Catholic Wedding Outside. Sounds impossible right? The couple with their parents went to the church the night before the actual wedding and got married in the church. The next day the priest came out to the site and "re-married" them. Although they were already married under the church! Its an option if you really would like to make your father happy but still have your dream wedding.
Posted by ftrmrsweatherdon[/QUOTE]

I actually talked to my mom and dad the other day and they are totally fine with the wedding not being in a church. My dad kept saying "it is your day, whatever you want". I was pretty suprised. I am not sure how they would react to an actual ceremony the night before, plus my venue is an hour from where we live and where our church (the one we belong to) is located so I don't think the logistics of that would work. Thank you though for the information it is helpful!

Question about Catholic Ceremony (kinda long)

Re: Question about Catholic Ceremony (kinda long)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards