NFP support

bezwedding · February 2013

I have been a lurker here for a while but after today, I feel like positive support is needed.
Fi and I are getting married in July and have done a great job timing our to do list. This month I decided to read TCOYF and start charting. So far my chart looks like a mess, but I feel like stress over my job and lack of sleep is causing that. Today during lunch one of my co workers who is Catholic made a comment about how the Catholic Church feels about BC and I mentioned NFP. My entire lunch group informed me of how it is an awful idea and doesn't work. I know better, but with charting going rough right now, it really stung. Did anyone else have a tough first chart or does anyone know anything about sleep deprivation and its effects on charting?

monkeysip · February 2013

I just got into charting a few weeks ago, but I've had an instructor, and I feel so much more confident with one! I love her!

I really recommend an instructor if you can find one. I'm assuming you're doing both temp and mucous? I'm doing Creighton, so mucous only, so I can't help you with temps.

But all the ladies here are super helpful, and I know someone here will have something for you. Just throwing my support out there! You'll figure it out, so don't worry about the negativity from others!

lalaith50 · February 2013

YES. Pretty much everyone has a terrible first chart! Stick with it is my biggest advice. However, if there is actually anything "wrong" with your body (eg, not ovulating, etc,) then it will be very frustrating especially if you aren't working with an instructor who can help you to analyze your chart and understand it. There are many different methods of NFP, but since you're reading TCOYF you might want to check out the classes offered by CCL - http://register.ccli.org/

And yes, certainly stress and lack of sleep can affect your cycle! Stress can delay or prevent ovulation, and not sleeping can really mess up your temps, so it's hard to tell anything.

Finally, be sure to check out the Living the Sacrament forum, where you can get tons more NFP-specific advice and encouragement!

http://livingthesacrament.com/Forum/index.php

bibliophile2010 · February 2013

Patience! I think everyone has a rough first cycle or two. Like PPs, I really recommend working with an instructor -- the troubleshooting and encouragement they provide really can't be matched. I'm not sure whether you had charted through a full cycle or not, but I think things start to get easier/look better when you are working on the second chart.

If you are comfortable providing specifics, either we or the ladies at LtS, as Lala indicated, will happily help you out!

Also, unfortunately, lots of people "out there" don't understand/trust/believe NFP works. Your confidence in the method will come, and they will either come around or stop talking about it. Remember, no method of ABC is 100% effective either, and the effectiveness rates of both NFP and ABC are about the same.

agapecarrie · February 2013

Took me a very long time because it revealed that I had some health issues that needed to get figured out.

Recently, I just had minor surgery to do a biopsy-- because my charts revealed that I had some issues-- one of the possibilities could have been cancer. Wouldn't have found that if I wasn't charting.

NFP is more effective than any kind of other birth control at avoiding pregnancy.

Also, possibly get an instructor. If this method doesn't work well, try another one.

chelseamb11 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-support?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3846bcd6-f248-4223-b40e-24cd9e7014c2Post:be304a50-0edd-4aed-886d-8fb9ccfe70c5">NFP support</a>:
[QUOTE]I have been a lurker here for a while but after today, I feel like positive support is needed. Fi and I are getting married in July and have done a great job timing our to do list. This month I decided to read TCOYF and start charting. So far my chart looks like a mess, but I feel like stress over my job and lack of sleep is causing that. Today during lunch one of my co workers who is Catholic made a comment about how the Catholic Church feels about BC and I mentioned NFP. My entire lunch group informed me of how it is an awful idea and doesn't work. I know better, but with charting going rough right now, it really stung. Did anyone else have a tough first chart or does anyone know anything about sleep deprivation and its effects on charting?
Posted by bezwedding[/QUOTE]

Doesn't work? They should take a peek in my uterus.

professorscience · February 2013

It amazes me how many otherwise educated people can be so ignorant about the science of a woman's cycles. I even had a friend who charted to get pregnant give me a very long and unwelcome lecture about how NFP would not work and I would be pregnant within a month of marriage.

I agree that the first chart always is crazy. I actually switched from STM (the method taught in TCOYF) because my sleep schedule was so irregular that I could never get an accurate temperature. If you are experiencing a lot of stress, I definitely recommend learning a mucous-only method. Check with your church or with your diocese, as most of them will advertise NFP classes.

As for your coworkers, I think you'll just have to let them go. I love getting into arguments with people now over whether or not charting works, but I definitely wasn't too confident when I started because I just didn't know that much.

Calypso1977 · February 2013

yes, the first chart is always wonky (especially if you are coming off of hormonal BC).

stay the course, it works!!! you will always encounter naysayers, sadly, many of whom are catholic.

Riss91 · February 2013

Hang in there! It takes a few cycles to really get comfortable with it. Please feel free to ask questions here, many of us have been using NFP for years. Don't get discouraged by people that simply don't know any better. You can likely talk circles around them when it comes to the functionality of a woman's reproductive system. The funny thing is, when couples have trouble concieving, the first thing an RE has them do is start charting. If you check out the "Getting Pregnant" board on the Nest, it's all about EGCM and charting. It is sad that doctors only talk about these methods when a couple is having trouble. They are so beneficial to every woman.

It is likely your coworkers are only aware of the "rhythm" method which is outdated and NOT one of the NFP methods currently in place. Just ignore them, or, when you feel confident about it - give them some more information.

TeaForMe · February 2013

I just wanted to add my support, too! I remember starting out and thinking I would never get the hang of it. But I did! I also vote for thinking about another method if I find after a few months that it is just not working for you. The temping was not going to work for me after I had a baby so I switched to billings which has worked better for me. And finding an instructor is definitely a great idea. As for your friends, it is likely they are just misinformed. My good friend admitted to me recently, "when you first told me about nfp I thought it was a bunch of garbage. But I read the book (TCOYF) and I believe it now!" She is still not using nfp, but at least sees it as a reliable method of preventing pregnancy.

MedStudent13 · February 2013

I would recommend the TCOYF program. It's just $40 and it takes all the guess work out of coverlines, recognizing peak days, and projecting the start of your next cycle after ovulation based on the average length of your luteal phase. It will also automatically recognize any temps that look out of whack and/or need to be adjusted due to waking up early/late.

TeaForMe · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-support?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:3846bcd6-f248-4223-b40e-24cd9e7014c2Post:2eb2e19c-6a66-4cc9-8ef3-dcf8f69fc68c">Re: NFP support</a>:
[QUOTE]I would recommend the TCOYF program. It's just $40 and it takes all the guess work out of coverlines, recognizing peak days, and projecting the start of your next cycle after ovulation based on the average length of your luteal phase. It will also automatically recognize any temps that look out of whack and/or need to be adjusted due to waking up early/late.
Posted by MedStudent13[/QUOTE]

I am probably mistaken, but when I looked at the TCOYF charting software program (is it ovusoft or something?), I thought it had a disclaimer that it shouldn't be considered accurate for avoiding purposes? That it was really only meant for TTC. I don't know exactly why it wouldn't be accurate if all the information is there, but who knows.

newlyseliski · February 2013

Welcome to the board!! My first chart was absolutely mad and my cycles are also generally insane! I also opted for a CM-only method (Creighton) due to PCOS, irregular sleep schedule and any change in stress tending to throw things off for me. If figuring out the charting on your own is frustrating, it's a worthwhile investment to work with an NFP instructor to get the hang of things. We all hang around and would be happy to answer any questions as you figure stuff out!

bezwedding · February 2013

Thank you all so much. I just needed to hear words of confidence from people who understood. I am totally in a great city to be using NFP and my doctor knows about it and supports it to. I have an appointment tomorrow to work on my sleep issues. I think that problem is fixable. You are all fantastic! Thanks again.

MedStudent13 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-support?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3846bcd6-f248-4223-b40e-24cd9e7014c2Post:4d89c659-9f7a-4651-acb0-4c9e36649003">Re: NFP support</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: NFP support : I am probably mistaken, but when I looked at the TCOYF charting software program (is it ovusoft or something?), I thought it had a disclaimer that it shouldn't be considered accurate for avoiding purposes? That it was really only meant for TTC. I don't know exactly why it wouldn't be accurate if all the information is there, but who knows.
Posted by TeaForMe[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, it's also called OvuSoft and it does have a disclaimer on it, but so does my Basal Thermometer. They have to put that on there to avoid getting sued probably... Especially because there is no explanation of the rules on the program itself. However, there are plenty of people on the TCOYF forums that use it to TTA, one poster even admitted to not even owning a copy of the book. </div>

[Deleted User] · February 2013

I actually just started charting about a month ago after going off of the pill in July. My chart is all wonky and I am still getting the hang of it. I am trying to educate H as well. I am going to buy TCOYF this weekend and start reading it.

We have been TTC and it has been pretty frustrating b/c we haven't been able to conceive just yet. My doctor actually recommended I start charting b/c he thinks I am not ovulating. He wanted to throw me on Clomid and my H said no. So after talking to a friend at church, she recommended an NFP only doctor (the only one in central Ohio) and I go to see him (with my charts in hand) in a little over a month. We pray he gets to the root of the problem and won't just throw me on meds like my ob/gyn wanted to do. He is also an ob/gyn and I may end up switching doctors if I like him. I guess he is popular b/c his waiting list is pretty long.

bibliophile2010 · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nfp-support?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:3846bcd6-f248-4223-b40e-24cd9e7014c2Post:0abe6104-60d4-49b7-8468-8e41b242f06b">Re: NFP support</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually just started charting about a month ago after going off of the pill in July. My chart is all wonky and I am still getting the hang of it. I am trying to educate H as well. I am going to buy TCOYF this weekend and start reading it. We have been TTC and it has been pretty frustrating b/c we haven't been able to conceive just yet. My doctor actually recommended I start charting b/c he thinks I am not ovulating. He wanted to throw me on Clomid and my H said no. So after talking to a friend at church, she recommended an NFP only doctor (the only one in central Ohio) and I go to see him (with my charts in hand) in a little over a month. We pray he gets to the root of the problem and won't just throw me on meds like my ob/gyn wanted to do. He is also an ob/gyn and I may end up switching doctors if I like him. I guess he is popular b/c his waiting list is pretty long.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

I think you're going to see a world of difference with the new doc. For example, while there is nothing morally wrong with Clomid, after 6 months of TTC coming off the pill is not the time. Your cycles may well still be wonky just from coming off the pill -- it can take awhile. Plus, based on what you've written, there is no indication of a basis to say that you're not ovulating.

Additionally, since he's an NFP-only doctor, there is no way he's going to prescribe the pill, especially if you are TTC, but likely at all. He'll probably look at/for obvious issues, hormone levels, etc. to make sure things are cycling correctly (or moving toward it) and go from there.

It realllllly bugs me when doctors (or anyone really) claim that the pill helps to regulate your cycle, when all it does is mask whatever cycle you body is doing naturally (among other things). And this is coming from someone who is generally verrrrrry forgiving of all that doctors don't know (because I know that they simply are not taught otherwise, most of the time) about NFP, fertility, etc.

Please keep us posted on how things go! *hugs* and *prayers*

agapecarrie · February 2013

Ditto Biblio--

Clomid is morally ok--- it helps things go correctly, but when the body is recovering from the pill, it can take quite awhile.

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