Is this appropriate?

KayOld8988 · January 2012

My finace and I are planning a very intimate wedding to which only immediate family are invited. The month after, we are having a large, casual party for all of our extended family, friends, coworkers, etc. Is it appropriate to register for gifts? I have mixed feelings about it, personally, but I also don't want to be caught in a situation where people are asking because they want to buy a gift for us, but have no where to get ideas.

Thoughts?

Mrs.B6302007 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_this-appropriate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:89ed63e2-cb24-46fc-84d1-04cf8dedea62Post:1f237f67-32c2-4473-8630-e7dbdb743c9b">Is this appropriate?</a>:
[QUOTE]My finace and I are planning a very intimate wedding to which only immediate family are invited. The month after, we are having a large, casual party for all of our extended family, friends, coworkers, etc. Is it appropriate to register for gifts? I have mixed feelings about it, personally, but I also don't want to be caught in a situation where people are asking because they want to buy a gift for us, but have no where to get ideas. Thoughts?
Posted by KayOld8988[/QUOTE]

No. If they don't get invited to the wedding and reception, then any parties you throw afterwards are not gift-giving, wedding related events.

ETA: On second thought, it can't hurt to have a small registry of JIC. Your family who are attending the wedding might need to use it as well. My answer was more of a "don't expect anything" answer since this is not a wedding event. I definitely wouldn't advertise because then the casual party guests might feel that it's a wedding reception which it shouldn't be. If someone asks, then you could mention that you have a very small registry.

calliopeia2013 · January 2012

I actually would register- if I were one of your party-but-not-weddding guests, I'd probably want to at least get you something small off your registry. I agree that you shouldn't advertise it, because that would look like you were expecting gifts, but it'd be nice to be able to tell people if they ask.

TiffannieF · January 2012

I don't see the harm in registering. I wouldn't put it on the invitation to the after party but just in case people ask or want to send you guys a present I think its a good idea.

meganb1977 · January 2012

Agreed, make a small registry in case anyone asks but don't broadcast the info.

MyNameIsNot · January 2012

I wouldn't register. I would be afraid that people would think the non-wedding event was meant to be a gift collection party.

I would avoid doing anything "wedding" at the later party for similar reasons.

MNVegas · January 2012

Casual parties are not normally gift giving situations but chances are there will be some people who will want to get you a gift. You could do a very small registry.

Agree w/pp, don't advertise the registry, do not put in on invitation or website. Only give out the information if someone asks you directly. You don't want to look gift grabby to people you did not invite to your wedding.

jessicabessica · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_this-appropriate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:89ed63e2-cb24-46fc-84d1-04cf8dedea62Post:8225f6ff-d3c9-4a19-a0a7-6df273a3ba0b">Re: Is this appropriate?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't see the harm in registering. <strong> I wouldn't put it on the invitation</strong> to the after party but just in case people ask or want to send you guys a present I think its a good idea.
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]

Registry information never goes on invitations, except for showers if the hostess decides to do so.

bridesally2012 · January 2012

To me it sounds like your casual party is a second wedding reception (which I think is appropriate and perfectly fine, but all social circles might not agree) and if I was invited to it I would bring a gift and want you to have a registry. So register, the worst that can happen is that you waste an afternoon shopping for things you can't afford on your own. Of course you shouldn't advertise the registry, but no one should advertise their registry.

Madisonpenny · January 2012

I would register. Technically anyone who wants to buy someone a wedding gift have up to 1 year after the wedding to do so..

StephBeanWed61502 · January 2012

I'd have a registry in case people ask about it, but I wouldn't proactively promote it to anyone except the guests who are invited to the actual wedding.

KayOld8988 · January 2012

Thank, ladies! your responses pretty much reinforced what I was thinking anyway. What a great resource to get answers to wedding questions!

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