2/3 of Weddings do not take place in a house of worship.

Re: 2/3 of Weddings do not take place in a house of worship.

• tropicalpalmleaf

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm not surprised by that statistic actually, but I wouldn't say that a traditional wedding is inexpensive.

  

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• kantonik

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Can't say I'm surprised either...I think out of all the weddings I've been to, only 1 was in a church.
  ...guess not everyone believes in the sacrament of marriage these days...

  
  

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• clearheavens member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I wouldn't be surprised if a large number of those 2/3 of weddings were religious in nature and form, but took place in non-religious places.

  
  

  It's true that God is everywhere, but Catholics have set aside a special place for worship, which is a church.  The church connects us to the community of believers and to those who gather in that space.

  
  

  There are some outdoor Massees like at World Youth Day.  But sacraments of vocations (Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Orders, and Marriage) are to be celebrated in the church.

  
  
  

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• MobKaz member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  At my daughters wedding, I absolutely LOVED what our priest had to say about their choice to marry in church.  He spoke quite abit about current wedding trends, and commented on how proud he was to be a part of their ultimate destination wedding in the House of God :-)

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• agape1cor813

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  It may also be interesting to consider what the divorce rates of Christians/Catholics are versus those who have the big, elaborate non-religious weddings. I believe it's a lot less. (You could say it's because of church teachings on divorce, but still.)

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_23-of-weddings-not-place-house-of-worship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:96da9f59-3563-4ff3-a6b3-2e3543c02637Post:fa48a417-d9b2-4003-b191-43751559a222">Re: 2/3 of Weddings do not take place in a house of worship.</a>:
  [QUOTE]It may also be interesting to consider what the divorce rates of Christians/Catholics are versus those who have the big, elaborate non-religious weddings. I believe it's a lot less. (You could say it's because of church teachings on divorce, but still.)
  Posted by agape1cor813[/QUOTE]
  
  Unfortunately, the rate of divorce among those who self-identify as Catholic is about the same as the general population.
  
  The rate of divorce among Catholics who practice their faith regularly, use NFP, and do a couple of similar things is less than 5%. I'm sure that there are many factors contributing to this, including more willingness to stick it out because of teachings on marriage.
  
  I would, however, guess that most weddings still have a religious nature, mention God, etc. I have never been to one that did not, though I have been to several outdoor weddings.

  

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• ElisabethJoanne member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I've only been to one outdoor wedding. All the rest (a couple dozen?) were in churches. Most were Catholic, and those are trending, in my circles, towards Latin Masses. The one outdoor wedding was evangelical. The couple's pastor officiated, read from the Bible, etc. The bride was one of those Bride Wars types (though NOT bridezilla) who had been planning her wedding long before she met her husband.
  
  It just surprises me that so few girls - from toddlers to unmarried twenty-somethings, no longer dream about going to the chapel. Though of course we see every day on theknot non-religious people who want a church wedding. It takes all types.
  
  I think there's a chicken-and-egg problem with elaborate, religious weddings and divorce rates. More religious people are going to want more deeply religious weddings. More deeply religious weddings drive home the sanctity of marriage. It's hard to tell what's cause and what's effect in a couple's psyche.

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• agapecarrie member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I remember clearly I got this statistic from a talk by a priest (another componenet was an NFP-doctor). The talk was given in Kansas City area. I do not have the reference for it, and I really wish I did, but I wrote down the numbers because they were so impressive...

  
  

  50% (or so) divorce rate

  33% Catholics divorce who marry in the church

  2%  divorce -- Catholics who marry in the church and use NFP

  1% divorce marry in the church, use, NFP, and go to mass weekly

  .09% (thats point zero nine percent) divorce of Catholics who marry in church, practice NFP, go to mass weekly, and pray at home together

  
  

  
  

  Janet Smith has a $1000 guarantee for marriages...but they have to follow her instructions:

  -No sex before marriage...if you have, then wait 2 years before getting married. Use NFP, not contraception

  -Go to mass weekly 

  -Tithe

  
  

  This puts God, sex, and money in the right priority.

  
  

  
  

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• soozy87 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_23-of-weddings-not-place-house-of-worship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:96da9f59-3563-4ff3-a6b3-2e3543c02637Post:9cd29b3c-2bf0-465e-85ab-c22b07db49ea">Re: 2/3 of Weddings do not take place in a house of worship.</a>:
  [QUOTE]Can't say I'm surprised either...I think out of all the weddings I've been to, only 1 was in a church. ...guess not everyone believes in the sacrament of marriage these days...
  Posted by kantonik[/QUOTE]
  
  Whatever happened to "whenever two or more are gathered in my name I am there"....

  ~May 21,2011~

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• agapecarrie member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  soozy,

  
  

  Just as the government has rules about marriages, so does the church for her members. Catholics are bound by canon law form in their sacraments in order for them to be valid. The church holds marriages in such high esteem that she says they need to take place in a sacred space-- The walls of the church building hold much symbolism in regard to the wider church community.

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• soozy87 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  “For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” Matthew 18.20
  
  Doesn't that say that God is with anyone gathered in His name?
  I have never understood why Catholics believe that you must be married in a church. I don't mean to offend you, or anyone else for that matter, I am just wondering. And for the OP to say that marriages that don't take place in a church are more likely to fail, I think that is incorrect. I think that if you invite God into your marriage He will be with you and your husband, no matter if you were married in a church or out in His creation.

  ~May 21,2011~

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• ElisabethJoanne member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I said elaborate religious weddings, not out-of-church weddings. Traditional Jewish weddings are even more elaborate than a Nuptial Mass, and are also traditionally outdoors.
  
  We're on the tip of the iceburg in marriage prep with 2 priests, but we have talked informally about contemporary wedding traditions - unity sand and unity candles and unity wine and unity cords - and my future husband and I have discussed it extensively, too. It seems people recognize how big a deal weddings are, but don't want to use the time-tested means of celebrating that big deal. We think that says something about their ideas about marriage, and life generally. If you're rejecting tradition (and authority) in one area, it would seem you're more likely to reject it in another.
  
  Though I've also read that those who write their own vows have more traditional ideas of marriage than those who just "read from the script." You can recite what the Priest says thoughtlessly, but it's hard to write a religious rite thoughtlessly. [No, Catholic brides, don't go out and write your own vows because otherwise you're being thoughtless. This was a Protestant book.]
  
  But I was thinking more, not about individual couples, but a religion as a whole. The more traditions the religion puts into a wedding, the more, it seems, it has thought about what marriage is. Consequently, individuals steeped in that religion also have better marriages.

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• agapecarrie member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Yes, I'm aware of the scripture, I explained why Catholics have to have marriage inside a church.

  
  

  This is not a contradiction to the scripture, but actually a more fulfillment of it...because as I said, the walls of the church building represent the church and community as a whole.

  
  

  Even MORE so are people gathered in the church. It is also signifying unity with the church. 

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• MedStudent13 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_23-of-weddings-not-place-house-of-worship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:96da9f59-3563-4ff3-a6b3-2e3543c02637Post:901187ca-db63-4388-8e9c-80e65e385a89">Re: 2/3 of Weddings do not take place in a house of worship.</a>:
  [QUOTE]50% (or so) divorce rate 33% Catholics divorce who marry in the church 2%  divorce -- Catholics who marry in the church and use NFP 1% divorce marry in the church, use, NFP, and go to mass weekly .09% (thats point zero nine percent) divorce of Catholics who marry in church, practice NFP, go to mass weekly, and pray at home together [/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>That's really impressive!
  
  </div>

  

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks Agape! I knew I had heard those stats, but couldn't remember them exactly! Now-H and I were used as living models by the priest at our God's Plan for a Joy-Filled marriage class when this point wa being emphasized. Maybe that's why the message stuck, but the numbers didn't.

  

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• Riss91 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_23-of-weddings-not-place-house-of-worship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:96da9f59-3563-4ff3-a6b3-2e3543c02637Post:2d79cded-86e7-4073-be32-345d505b7623">Re: 2/3 of Weddings do not take place in a house of worship.</a>:
  [QUOTE]“For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” Matthew 18.20 Doesn't that say that God is with anyone gathered in His name? I have never understood why Catholics believe that you must be married in a church. I don't mean to offend you, or anyone else for that matter, I am just wondering. And for the OP to say that marriages that don't take place in a church are more likely to fail, I think that is incorrect. I think that if you invite God into your marriage He will be with you and your husband, no matter if you were married in a church or out in His creation.
  Posted by soozy87[/QUOTE]
  
  It's true that God is with anyone gathering in His name, but receiving the sacrament isn't just about God being with you. Catholics are married in a church because sacraments should be received in sacred locations, with an altar, in front of the parish community. It also helps to focus on God and the sacrament.
  
  You could say that you don't need a ceremony or a piece of paper to prove that you love someone and will love them for the rest of your life. Which is true, but most of us go through with a marriage anyway...

  
  

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