September 2012 Weddings

Bummed out

FI and I put together a rough draft of our seating chart, and it went somewhat ok.  Obviously like everyone else, a lot of difficult family situations to deal with, but so far we have everyone sitting at a table.  Good start.  Although FI got all bent out of shape about our head table situation.  We can't fit our entire bridal party at one big head table or that'd be just ridiculous.  So it's going to be me, FI, MOH, and Best Man at the head table.  Then we'll have the bridesmaids with their husbands at a round table nearby, and the groomsmen with their wives/girlfriends at another one.  He thinks this will look stupid, and wants to put all the bridal party at one table together and just spread the SO's around the room whever they'll fit basically.  I kept telling him that I'm sure they'd appreciate being able to sit with their SO's since they won't be with us, but he just won't let it go.  Ugh!

But also, while we were putting together the chart, it really hit me how FEW guests I have at this wedding.  He's from MN, I'm from OH, and we're having the wedding in MN.  Aside from my immediate family, I only have 5 family members attending.  He has 4 tables of family members.  I have a half table of friends, and he has 3 tables of friends.  And to top things off, he just switched jobs, so he even has twice as many coworkers attending because we invited old and new ones.  We got done with the seating chart, and I was just super bummed out.  A big part of the reason I wanted the whole schindig was to celebrate with people I don't get to see often.  There's going to be at least 40 people there I've never even met, and he's met all of my friends, family, and coworkers.  It really feels like a celebration of FI, and I'm just kind of the girl with no friends.  *sigh*

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Josh and Renata's Wedding

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Re: Bummed out

  • I hear ya, I have 2 tables of my family and they aren't even full tables.  It's a bummer but I keep telling myself that those who are there are what's important and that no matter what it's going to be a blast.  Attitudes make or break a situation and I'm choosing to have a positive one through all of the crap that's been going on.  It's been helpful.
  • I went through this two.  I invited something like 25 friends on top of my 6 BM and their SO's.  Only two are coming (well my college friend and his gf who I hardly know so really 1 friend)!  I was pretty bummed about it but I have to say my friends were great about my engagement party, shower, and bachelorette which were local (we live in FL, I'm from FL and wedding is in VA where FI is from).  I have 2 tables of family, 1 of family friends/friends/SO's of the WP since the WP will be at a head table with us.  We ended up with a lot of declines really so we have only 8 tables.  But only 3 are mine and aren't quite full.  FI has two full tables of family members neither of us know. 

    I was bummed but then I started to get excited at a smaller wedding.  And, since there aren't as many people as we were expecting, I'll get to spend sooo much time with my BM who are my best girls!  I went to a big wedding recently that was almost all family and the bride and groom never stopped moving.  They were pulled in 300 directions and while they looked blissfully happy to be married, they didn't look like they got to enjoy themselves and relax as much as I'm hoping I'll get to.  Plus remember, FI's family is now your family and ideally you can blend your friend groups! 
  • I feel your pain! I'm from MI and all of my extended family is from OH. FI and family are from IN, and that's where we live now, so it made sense to have the wedding here. I'm reserving 2 rows at the church for family, and he felt like he was leaving people out by only reserving 5 rows. One of my grandmothers isn't even coming because the drive is too long. We eliminated the whole bride's side/groom's side from the ceremony so it wouldn't be so obvious how uneven our guest list was... :( 
  • There's no reason to make your wedding party and their SOs unhappy all night just so you can have one table where all of the guests' outfits match.  That's just silly: You're totally right on this.

    I totally know how you feel about the guest list, too... I cut my list down, 'cause we wanted a small wedding, but he insisted that he had to invite a bunch of people who are allegedly close to him or his family but I've never even met.  There are going to be strangers at my wedding, and that really, really bugs me.  And his side's going to be way bigger than mine.
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  • Wow, I have the exact same situation!  We are having our MOH, BM and their dates at our table, then a table for bridesmaids and their dates and a table for Best men and their dates.  I'm going to a wedding in a month that my fiance is the best man, and I will be sitting at a separate table from him.  It's awkward and weird, and it angers me because it will be our first event together as husband and wife (and everyone who I talk to about it thinks it's bizarre).  Keep SO's with their dates, go with what you did.  Dates do NOT appreciate being split up, especially at a wedding, and more importantly if they don't know anyone else at the wedding.
    Ditto on the guests.  Our wedding is in Vermont, where my fiancee and his family and friends all  grew up and live. Pretty much my family and bridesmaids are the only ones on my side coming, with a handful of friends.  My guests are about 25% of the total people coming.  It sucks.  As much as people understand that it's expensive to fly into Vermont, it doesn't stop me from feeling slightly like a loser!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Ok I'm kind of going through the same thing... However my wedding is in KY and he's from IN and I'm the one from KY and the one who switched jobs... But my FI has a really big family and most of my friends live out of town. Of the 12 people in the entire bridal party only my MOH lives in our city full time. We tried to get our bridal party and their guests at our massive head table but it just made it TOO big. We have slowly been trying to introduce the SOs to each other or othe important people who will definitely be at the wedding so we can place them somewhere other than with the bridal party. Good luck! I just hit my 6 day mark!
  • I feel your angst.  We are both from MN and relatives in MN and he still has 3x more people showing up than me.  My own brothers and sisters aren't even coming.  :(
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