Honeymoon Fund

bmpasick · June 2010

My mom is throwing us an engegement party/shower in NY in just a few weeks so now I am under all of this presssure to register somewgere. My fiance and I live together and might be relocating soon after the wedding. I really dont want to just register for things I dont really know that I want and I also dont want a buch of stuff to have to pack up and move! What we really need is $$ for our honeymoon!

How do I go about asking for that so people dont spend $$ on things I dont really want right now?

erica913 · June 2010

We created a website through honeyfund.com. You make a list of items and give them a cash value (for example, a convertible to rent for the day and it's maybe $150). Guests then print off a certificate for "a convertible rental" and give you a check or cash for $150, so it's LIKE they're buying you stuff. We just kind of spread the word and so far no one seems offended - in fact, most of our family thinks we're brilliant! There are always some who like to give "stuff" so we did register for a few things, but we're really pushing the honeyfund! Good luck!

pirategal03 · June 2010

Registering for cash, aka a honeymoon registry, is frowned upon in a lot of circles. Many people consider it very rude. Plus, the point of a shower is so people can shower you with gifts and ooh/ahh as you open them. Registering for cash doesn't go along with having a shower. If you do create a honeymoon registry be sure to read the fine print. Some places charge a fee, so even if your guests think they're giving you $50, you may only get $45 of it.

The best thing to do would be to create a small registry for physical gifts. And let your mom spread by word of mouth that you're registered at JKLstore but are really saving up for the honeymoon. Don't go putting that in writing anywhere.

If you truly don't want to register for physical gifts you should decline the shower.

Beth0882 · June 2010

Re: a honeymoon registry, I would say the following:
(1) they are not for everyone. A lot of people will say they are rude as it is basically asking for cash. I fee that this depends on the person, as each person will know how their friends/family feel about it. Obviously no one will say "that is rude" to your face and will tell ou it is a good idea, but only you will know if your friends/family are big on tradition and etiquette or if they would be comfortable with it.
(2) some of the sites, I think honeyfund is one of them, charge a fee. So if a guest pays $150 in for something, you will get less than $150 because the website keeps a percentage. I think there are some out there that don't charge fees though.

Another option is to just let your bridesmaids and family know that you would rather have cash, and if guests ask, the bms and family can share that info. My mom has already had several family members call her up and ask ifwe would rather have a present off our registry or cash so she can share that information without us being rude. Good luck!

EDIT -- my post crossed with Mary's (I got distracted while typing) so sorry its all a repeat of what she said!

pirategal03 · June 2010

Evidently it can't be said enough, Beth. And since we're repeating eachother I want to reiterate something, friends/family aren't going to say to your face that they think it's a bad idea. That's what internet strangers are for

.

If you're interested. Search the Registering & Gifts board or the Honeymoon board for some other opinions.

meredithl618 · June 2010

I agree with pps.

Personally, I feel that it is weird to do a honeymoon registry. Some people think there's no problem at all with it, but it just rubs me the wrong way.

Pinky09 · June 2010

You get money from the wedding..just use that towards your honeymoon, rather than actually asking for money.

I wouldn't have a "bridal shower" if your not registering, just call it an engagement party.

alliegator8 · June 2010

We have 2 registries including a honeymoon registry. We went with honeyfund because there was no fee to use it (although we did pay the $29 for the upgraded site). We love it and have gotten good feedback about it. Most people were going to give us cash at the wedding. So we thought this would be a fun twist to "just giving us money".

For those who are more traditional, we also registered at Bed Bath and Beyond. At my shower this past weekend, most of the girls got me something off there. Now we were in the same situation, living together and not needing too much. So we picked little stuff that could be upgraded to nicer/ better quality (like finally getting rid of the measuring cups I had in college).

I think the honeymoon fund is an awesome idea. But I think it is good to have a second registry for those who might want to give you a physical gift. Then they don't have to get you something off your honeymoon registry if they don't want to.

jacobrooks · June 2010

I did a honeymoon fund through honeyfund.com and we did a registry at target too. That way people have a choice if they don't like the honeyfund.com idea. Also, just know that people are still going to give you cash regardless of wherever you register.

sunnysarahinNC · June 2010

I had a close friend get married last weekend, and she was worried about registering too. In the end, she just registered for stuff they didn't have yet, even though most was not the traditional "china and crystal etc."- hers was more a wish list! I think people appreciate the option, but agree with the above- you WILL end up with cash/checks! idk about honeymoon fund- I don't know if it's my thing, but do what you're comforable with!

good luck!

MorrisGirlWed21652 · June 2010

i know it's not a popular option on this site, but if you check out others, it's totally acceptable. which just shows that it is not a hard and fast rule and that it really is just a matter of opinion. in general with registries its good to have a couple of options. i still think an alternative option is great. as a guest, i totally prefer to buy friends experiences they want or things they actually need. i'm not in favor of registering just to register and then having to take it all back -- so wasteful. check out depositagift.com i think you'll like it and NYers will get it.

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