Surprise wedding

Trajay1967 · August 2012

My fiancé and I are planning a wedding at our home, and our guests will have no clue they are attending a wedding. Once the "party" has started, we will announce that they are at our wedding (not a first wedding for either of us). Any ideas how to decorate, attire for casual but special, or general planning?

Summer2011Bride · August 2012

I just wanted to give my opinion on the surprise wedding thing. Have you considered that if you call it just a party, some guests who have other plans or what not may not attend? Then after they'd be hurt/upset they missed your wedding, and you'll be upset they missed it as well? I just think it has the possibility of turning out badly.

If I had to work or had other plans, I probably wouldn't try to switch my schedule for a party at someone's house. I definitely would try for a friend's wedding. I'd be hurt later that I missed it. Just something to consider.

Peavy · August 2012

Ditto Summer Bride. I don't get the concept of a surprise wedding.

HobokensFury · August 2012

Do a search about surprise weddings and you will find a million reasons about why it's a bad idea.

QueerFemme · August 2012

Yep. Don't do it. You will have people come late or not show at all... because they do not realize that it is an important event. You will likely end up dissapointed.

DramaGeek · August 2012

My cousin surprised us all by getting married at our family reunion. They made sure the VIPs were aware of the ceremony so that they'd be there and then figured "whoever comes, comes" for the rest of it.

They didn't do anything in the way of decor. She wore a very non-traditional wedding dress that her mom made and the groom was very casual in a linen shirt and dockers. It was obviously very, very casual as the guests weren't aware they were attending anything more than a family picnic.

Trajay1967 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_surprise-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:319baddb-59d5-4863-8751-d3929f7e225dPost:a93e681d-39af-4f00-b5bc-cf6fe71acb6f">Re: Surprise wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I just wanted to give my opinion on the surprise wedding thing. Have you considered that if you call it just a party, some guests who have other plans or what not may not attend? Then after they'd be hurt/upset they missed your wedding, and you'll be upset they missed it as well? I just think it has the possibility of turning out badly. If I had to work or had other plans, I probably wouldn't try to switch my schedule for a party at someone's house. I definitely would try for a friend's wedding. I'd be hurt later that I missed it. Just something to consider.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

<font color="#003300">That is something to consider, and yes, we did think about it. Since this isn't a first wedding for either of us, we don't want any gifts. It always seems that people feel obligated to bring a wedding gift, and the only gift we want is their presence. Any suggestions how to handle this? I have, in my last wedding, asked people not to bring gifts, in the invitations, but they still did anyway.</font>

Lora&Burke · August 2012

My fiance' and I also want to have a suprise ceremony in our home, we have a close friend that is ordained and we wanted to send out invitations to our home this year for a "special" Thanksgiving Family holiday at our home and suprise them after they arrive. we have an open area and a large staircase I will be able to come down, so setting up a few extra tables for a "Holiday dinner" will not be ut of the norm, my fiance has been working out of town for 6 months so the family will be happy to come for a big holiday and celebrate his return, and we will drop the big suprise then. Depending on when you get married sending out some sort of special invite for your might get you a better response. i hope it works out for you we really want to go this route so we are still in the thought and planning stage even though we need to finalize our plans in the next few weeks. what do you think? we are also on a budget and it is not our first marriage so we thought this would be perfect. i really hope it turns out great:-)
n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_surprise-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:319baddb-59d5-4863-8751-d3929f7e225dPost:3cb5afb4-8100-4529-858e-507d64757d47">Surprise wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiancé and I are planning a wedding at our home, and our guests will have no clue they are attending a wedding. Once the "party" has started, we will announce that they are at our wedding (not a first wedding for either of us). Any ideas how to decorate, attire for casual but special, or general planning?
Posted by Trajay1967[/QUOTE]

Trajay1967 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_surprise-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:319baddb-59d5-4863-8751-d3929f7e225dPost:1148deef-3ee4-4353-bdec-385577ecf1a6">Re: Surprise wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]My cousin surprised us all by getting married at our family reunion. They made sure the VIPs were aware of the ceremony so that they'd be there and then figured "whoever comes, comes" for the rest of it. They didn't do anything in the way of decor. She wore a very non-traditional wedding dress that her mom made and the groom was very casual in a linen shirt and dockers. It was obviously very, very casual as the guests weren't aware they were attending anything more than a family picnic.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

That is EXACTLY what we were thinking, but we want it to be festive. Our family and best friends are all aware of the date, and what is happening. Thanks, DramaGeek!

FluffyGumDrop2 · August 2012

If your VIP's already know what's going on and won't accidentally miss it thinking it's just a regular party if something happens to come up, then go for it. Most people will try really hard to make sure they can attend a wedding but if they think its just a party and it conflicts with something else they may skip it only later to find out it was your wedding and be disappointed.

You could plan a family picnic for a date that works for most of your family or pick a family orientated holiday and offer to host a big get together. Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving would be the "easiest" ones to get family together for. I think Christmas time might be hard to get families to travel with their kids but they might be up for it since its a family Christmas.

sunridge1000 · August 2012

There was a celebrity couple who famously suprised their guests by calling it a rehearsal barbeque - if you're keeping it small and immediate family only that might work, and ensure they show up, but more casual friends would wonder why they're invited to the rehearsal!

http://www.countryweekly.com/news/newly-married-brad-paisleys-surprise-wedding

sunridge1000 · August 2012

p.s. Trajay actually I would also agree with the other posters asking why would you want to surprise guests?... are there some deeper concerns going on that because it's your second, you're feeling like it's not OK to go through the usual invitation process, and that guests might be judging you for having a wedding at all? So you have to "sneak" them into the event and spring it on them unaware? If so, I feel you on that - it's the second one for FI and I too, and we had to grapple with a lot of that. If you're having a wedding, it's OK to have a wedding. Otherwise maybe take a fabulous trip with your FI and elope in a special ceremony for just you, and you won't have to worry about these kind of details at all. Good luck and best wishes! Jennifer

Trajay1967 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_surprise-wedding-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:319baddb-59d5-4863-8751-d3929f7e225dPost:40bd6b5b-c803-4bba-89ae-0dba14794db8">Re: Surprise wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]p.s. Trajay actually I would also agree with the other posters asking why would you want to surprise guests?... are there some deeper concerns going on that because it's your second, you're feeling like it's not OK to go through the usual invitation process, and that guests might be judging you for having a wedding at all? So you have to "sneak" them into the event and spring it on them unaware? If so, I feel you on that - it's the second one for FI and I too, and we had to grapple with a lot of that. If you're having a wedding, it's OK to have a wedding . Otherwise maybe take a fabulous trip with your FI and elope in a special ceremony for just you, and you won't have to worry about these kind of details at all. Good luck and best wishes! Jennifer
Posted by sunridge1000[/QUOTE]

<font color="#800000">The reason we want to surprise our guests is because often, people feel obligated to get a gift for the bride and groom. As this is not our first wedding, and we have a home with everything we want and need, the only gift we want, is the guest to have fun. The event is basically a "wine event...bring a bottle of your favorite wine to share". we don't want formal, just casual and lots of laughter. Eloping is NOT an option, our families wouldn't appreciate it, and nor could they afford to go on a trip to attend. Thanks so much for your encouragement, ideas and support!</font><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

HalloweenLove13 · April 2013

We are planning a surprise wedding. 50% of the reason we chose a surprise is to avoid the negative opinions of others, similar to some of the posts in this thread.

YOU know your friends and family. YOU know how they will react. YOUR happiness and the happiness of YOUR husband is the only priority.

Happiness always.

ms.edwards · June 2013

I couldn't agree more with HalooweenLove13!! Do what YOU and YOUR fiance want!

NYCMercedes · June 2013

ms.edwards said:

I couldn't agree more with HalooweenLove13!! Do what YOU and YOUR fiance want!

Good grief! This is a year old why resurrect this?

efmcc67 · June 2013

Argh! What's with all the zombie threads??

[Deleted User] · July 2013

@Liatris2010 I'm going to talk to the team about this. thank you!

Surprise wedding

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