Sorry in advance if this gets long. Let me start by saying that I graduated last May with my degree in early childhood education. I am a certified teacher and have been unable to find a classroom position in my area. Last August I was hired in as an assistant in a special education classroom. The children that I work with are on the lower end of the spectrum, where our classroom is the last stop in the public education system before they go to live in a group home, essentially. Because of this we have a lot of aggressive and violent children. Last year this wasn't a huge problem, but this year it's becoming apparent that it is.
We have 4 adults and 6 children and that's still not enough with the behaviors in our classroom. I am coming home with scratches and bruises and not wanting to do anything. The past week I've come home crying pretty much every day. My doctor has referred me to a counselor, but I don't go until October 3rd. A large part of my stress that isn't related to dealing with the children every day, is that I'm the one that has health insurance. Once we get married, FI will get put on mine.
He works 2 jobs, but insurance isn't available through either. He was diagnosed with Crohn's disease two years ago and cannot be without insurance because he gets an infusion every 8 weeks, which we couldn't afford sans insurance, and if he ever stops the infusions, he can never start them back again. No pressure on me, right? I have been hoping to find another job with insurance so I won't feel so trapped, unfortunately, there isn't enough time between his infusions for me to get a job and the benefits kick in in time. So now I'm stuck in a job that has made me listless, tired, and depressed. I don't want to cook, clean, exercise, or leave the house for anything.
So in addition to this, I can't convince FI to apply for jobs in his field that will have insurance! He graduated this past May with his degree in Civil Engineering and hasn't had any luck finding a job. Despite everything I've been working on, I found him 15 jobs to look at and apply for on Friday, he hasn't even opened a single email. He says he will do it the next day. When the next day comes around, oh I will after dinner. After dinner? He has to fix the wi-fi on his iPad when he would be applying on his laptop. Once that's fixed? I just want to watch the movie right now. I can't stand that he's okay right now with me being so stressed and has no desire to make the fricken effort to get a job.
Sorry this was so long, I really needed to get that out. If you made it through, you're wonderful. You girls are fabulous.
