October 2012 Weddings

NWR: Frustrated and Stressed Beyond Words. Vent. (long)

Sorry in advance if this gets long. Let me start by saying that I graduated last May with my degree in early childhood education. I am a certified teacher and have been unable to find a classroom position in my area. Last August I was hired in as an assistant in a special education classroom. The children that I work with are on the lower end of the spectrum, where our classroom is the last stop in the public education system before they go to live in a group home, essentially. Because of this we have a lot of aggressive and violent children. Last year this wasn't a huge problem, but this year it's becoming apparent that it is.

We have 4 adults and 6 children and that's still not enough with the behaviors in our classroom. I am coming home with scratches and bruises and not wanting to do anything. The past week I've come home crying pretty much every day. My doctor has referred me to a counselor, but I don't go until October 3rd. A large part of my stress that isn't related to dealing with the children every day, is that I'm the one that has health insurance. Once we get married, FI will get put on mine. 

He works 2 jobs, but insurance isn't available through either. He was diagnosed with Crohn's disease two years ago and cannot be without insurance because he gets an infusion every 8 weeks, which we couldn't afford sans insurance, and if he ever stops the infusions, he can never start them back again. No pressure on me, right? I have been hoping to find another job with insurance so I won't feel so trapped, unfortunately, there isn't enough time between his infusions for me to get a job and the benefits kick in in time. So now I'm stuck in a job that has made me listless, tired, and depressed. I don't want to cook, clean, exercise, or leave the house for anything. 

So in addition to this, I can't convince FI to apply for jobs in his field that will have insurance! He graduated this past May with his degree in Civil Engineering and hasn't had any luck finding a job. Despite everything I've been working on, I found him 15 jobs to look at and apply for on Friday, he hasn't even opened a single email. He says he will do it the next day. When the next day comes around, oh I will after dinner. After dinner? He has to fix the wi-fi on his iPad when he would be applying on his laptop. Once that's fixed? I just want to watch the movie right now. I can't stand that he's okay right now with me being so stressed and has no desire to make the fricken effort to get a job. 

Sorry this was so long, I really needed to get that out. If you made it through, you're wonderful. You girls are fabulous. <3
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Re: NWR: Frustrated and Stressed Beyond Words. Vent. (long)

  • Hi Jen!
    So I 100% relate to your frustrations! My fiance also has Chrons and has to get infusions every 6 weeks at $2000+  pop. right now he has good insurance but it will expire in Dec 2013 because his company is dropping it. He is also in grad school to become a Dr of Traditional Chinese Medicine but since he will have his own practice it means he will have to get insurance on his own. So i TOTALLY understand! What I wanted to ask you though if it is ok is what state do you live in? The reason why i ask is because Obama had created sort of a health insurance plan for people with pre exsisting health conditions. I live in Colorado so ours in called CoverColorado but if you tell me what state you are in, i would be happy to do some research and see what your states version is called. But at least with ours, since my fiance is diagnosed with Chrons he is automatically accepted into the program and the rates are really not that terrible! I think for him it is $257 a month for a $1000 deductable and after they pay 80/20. Also if your fiance gets infusions every 8 weeks, i would assume it is remicade? Do you guys know about the patient assistence program? They pay up to $500 off every single treatment for a year and you can reaplly and be accepted into the program every year for as long as you are making under $75,000 a year. I know thats not a lot but if you pair it with the pre exsisting insurance, it should cover the 20% you would still have to pay. I dont know if any of this helps your situation, i had just done a lot of research for when my FI no longer has insurance becasue like you were saying about your guy, him getting off his medication is just not even an option!
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  • Thanks, glad to know someone else has the same stresses!! We are in Tennessee. He is on remicade. He's currently on his parents insurance, but I'm pretty sure they kick him off as soon as he's married. It's $8,000 every infusion....one of them would break us since neither of us are making much money. Any information you can give me would be greatly appreciated!
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  • Hi Jen,
    omg duh, it says your state right on your icon! I'm sorry!

    Ok so yours is called PCIP and actually seems to have lower rated then Colorado! However i could not find anywhere that says a Chrons diagnosis is guaranteed acceptance into the program so you should ask.

    the site is https://www.pcip.gov/

    Here is the linik to the patient assistence program:

    http://www.janssenaccessone.com/pages/remicade/patientassist/intro.jsp

    The one my fiance is on is called Remistart and I think I was wrong on the money, i think its actually like $8000 a year they will pay out.

    And one last thing, $8000 a session?!?!? is he on a very high dosage? My FI was getting charged at a different hospital $3000 + but then switched to another and the payment was $2000 + for the exact same dosage. on the other hand though he goes more frequently (6 weeks) but his dr had mentioned that it is actually a pretty low dosage. I just thought maybe a different hospital could take off a couple of those thousands?

    Anyways sorry this is so long but I hope this helps, we are in the same boat but i just wanted you to know that there are options and hopefully you wouldnt feel like you have to settle for a job that really seems to be taking its toll on you! I hope things get better for you and if you have any questions just feel free to ask =)
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  • I feel you on FI not wanting to put forth effort to look for another job. I kept showing FI all these job vacancy announcements in the paper and he would be like that sounds good and then leave the paper on the table when he leaves to go to work and then the next weekend I ask him if he still wants the paper and then tells me to toss it. (BTW FI is a truck driver so he is out 5-6 days week on the road). He really wants kids but I refuse to have them as long as he does long haul work as I refuse to raise kids on my own. He needs to get endorsements, he still refuses to get them. If he did he would be making what I make ($15-20K bump in pay). He knows Im dealing with a crappy job situation where I am severly underpaid and treated badly as well and I was looking for a new job but I put it on hold for a couple of months because I know I should wait til after the wedding since I wouldnt be able to take the time off but at least I tried. 
    FI has medical issues too and after the wedding he will go on my insurance because his sucks (we live in MD but his insurance is based iin NE so everything is considered Out of Network so he gets extra bills from going to any doctor).
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  • Oh ladies, I feel you. FI has a very different approach to job hunting than I would. He hasn't had insurance in years. Don't get me wrong, he does not have a chronic diagnosis, but we are much older! Xxjen, bless your heart - school jobs must be frustrating enough, much less with special needs children. I hope you find some hope on the 3rd in. Finding ways to cope.
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  • Teaching jobs are harder and harder to come by now. It used to be that places were begging for teachers, but now with so many budget cuts, they're cutting instead of hiring. FI has a license for middle & high school earth space and environmental science, but he has yet to find a full-time position. He worked for one semester at a school in Indiana and the teaching conditions were so horrible that he never considered going back there. We moved to TN over the summer and he didn't find a single listing he was fully qualified for. Of course, him being a man that just meant he didn't even apply for them until it was too late! He did get a part-time adjunct position in a community college, but the pay is pretty awful, and is broken up into weird chunks (he works for 2 months without getting paid, then gets a paycheck at the end of 3 months in a row - he doesn't get his first check until October 31st!!) so we are pretty much royally screwed as far as income right now. I work full-time while going to school part-time, but I only make minimum wage. I have basic health coverage for myself through my company's on-site medical facility, but no emergency or hospital coverage. He works part-time at the same company, so he has the same coverage.

    I'm glad to see I'm not the only one really frustrated with their FI's job situation. If he'd applied for jobs when we first moved down here in May, he might have had a chance at one, but he was so turned off of teaching by his last position that it's like he forgot that he has a degree (I don't) and therefore should be making a lot more than minimum wage. It wasn't until his paychecks from his last school stopped coming that he finally woke up and by then it was too late! He's going to start substitute teaching next semester (his class schedule now doesn't leave room for it) and I really hope he goes back to full-time next school year, which would mean much much better pay and benefits.
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