Anyone else having regular breakdowns?

michellep1 · March 2012

I'm usually a very calm person. I don't fly off the handle and I cry at most once or twice a month. Lately, I have been so ridiculously stressed out from all the wedding stuff that needs to be done that I'm crying all the time! Over the stupidest things, if I can even figure out the reason!

I had a huge hysterical-crying breakdown on Sunday night because FI picked out grey suits for the wedding when the ONLY instructions I gave him were to get black tuxedos. He wouldn't even wear a grey suit to an interview because it's too casual; I don't know why he thought it would be appropriate for the most important day in our lives. If we were having a casual or outdoor wedding then fine, I think they're very nice in those cases. But its a very formal wedding in a Catholic church, my dress has a cathedral train, they would look so out of place!

I normally would have responded by getting mad and then deciding what to do from there, but no, I threw a fit which is totally unlike me. Is anyone else turning into a lunatic?

KJeffs · March 2012

YES!!!!! I'm crying over everything, No one wants to listen to me stress and worry so that just makes it worse...Nothing is getting done on time and all I hear is "it will be fine, quit worrying" That does not help!!!

janeash · March 2012

I understand completely. I think FI has think I've lost my mind. We are hardly even talking about wedding stuff anymore because all we end up doing is arguing about it. He finally decided to back off, give me a budget and let me do whatever I want with the budget.

Mostly, I have been freaking out about school and work and I have complete breakdowns about that all the time. Poor FI is getting so sick of hearing the same thing over and over again and he is trying to be supportive and I am being stubborn and stupid! I am acting like such a baby all the time and I'm not usually like that so the only reason I can think of is too much stress!

I'm the same as you....don't cry very often....but I have been losing it lately. It's at least once a week now. SO can't wait for my term to be over....hopefully I stop freaking out then!!

[Deleted User] · March 2012

Aw, I feel for you. Every bride has a meltdown at some point. It's stressful when you have a vision of the perfect day and it just doesn't seem to be going that way. But for me, I want to remember focusing on our marriage and not just the wedding. My FI doesn't do everything perfect and everything will not go perfect. But I want to have fun planning our wedding and I'm trying not to let the 'little' things stress me out.
It's good to vent too, like you're doing!

chelseakopperud · March 2012

I'm sorry ladies.... hang in there! Our weddings will be here and over with before we know it!! Try to just enjoy the process and embrace this amazing time in your life!

janeash · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-having-regular-breakdowns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9cb46f9a-88d2-4c64-81e5-2948069ecdd2Post:a92fe334-1fc5-47a4-8d9f-07ff6358dba5">Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns?</a>:
[QUOTE]YES!!!!! I'm crying over everything, No one wants to listen to me stress and worry so that just makes it worse...Nothing is getting done on time and <strong>all I hear is "it will be fine, quit worrying" That does not help!!!</strong>
Posted by KJeffs[/QUOTE]

<div>I AGREE!!! Telling me to calm down doesn't make me calm down!!! </div>

michelletobin · March 2012

I haven't gone lunatic yet, and I

never cry, I mean NEVER. It really takes a lot for me to cry, but I cried Saturday because I couldn't find the right flower girl dresses. I have spoken to many couples and they all say that the things they stressed over before the wedding was so silly that they can't even remember what it was anymore. Just remember that you are marrying the man you LOVE and that is so much more important than a grey suit. You will have so many things to overcome as a couple so you will need to remember that the color suit he wears to the wedding is small in comparison. This is suppposed to me the happiest day of you life, so try not to make it a stressful occassion. My fiance has to remind me of that every time something doesn't work out. Despite the color suits, or the girls dress or how the bridesmaids wear their hair, really won't matter when you are standing together at the alter ready to commit yourselves to each other for a lifetime. Hang in there and remember why you are getting married in the first place. Good Luck!!

MMRoberts11 · March 2012

I've been having a few extra break outs but I've just been trying to be extra careful about not touching my face and making sure I wash it daily and really scrub.

Zimsgirl · March 2012

If something goes wrong WR or NWR, I get so worked up. I'm always under a lot of stress and if I can't find something I start freaking out and cry.

diamondx423 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-having-regular-breakdowns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9cb46f9a-88d2-4c64-81e5-2948069ecdd2Post:00b02feb-5939-4724-b7cd-fd5455bd78a4">Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns?</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been having a few extra break outs but I've just been trying to be extra careful about not touching my face and making sure I wash it daily and really scrub.
Posted by MMRoberts11[/QUOTE]

Ha, I think she meant emotional breakDOWNs. Not pimples =)

Cassandra999 · March 2012

I did have a few of those freak outs, but lately I just don't care as much. I just want the day to be here, the details are less important to me now. I just want to be married and done with planning. This may not be a healthy place to be either, but it's less stressful!

cwill6212 · March 2012

YES!! I am a bit sensitive normally... so under these presured, stressful circumstances, multiply that by 100. I am SO tired of hearing: "Stop worrying, it'll be fine!" Just ready for the day to get here so I can not feel like a frazzled mad woman anymore!

daria24 · March 2012

In the six years that we have been together, I think FI has seen me cry maybe 5 times. Last night I lost it though while we were talking about the officiant because he just wouldn't give me a straight answer and I just burst into tears "I just want you to be happy why won't you just tell me what you WANT." And then I sobbed because I feel like I've been doing all this stuff on my own and I have zero privacy at work so I can't make any phone calls that are wedding-related, while he has a nice office with a door, plus he only works Tuesday-Thursday so he has time to be calling people.

It's also really frustrating planning things long distance because there isn't a whole lot I can do RIGHT now, most things are done the 1 weekend a month I am in PA and I have lost any sense of patience.

Ash61612 · March 2012

I am kinda at the point where I keep saying "It is what it is". My bridesmaids created drama at my shower, I am 99% sure my junior bridesmaids mother is pulling her from the wedding, my hosts for my shower back home backed out of hosting and FI still hasn't picked what tux's his brother, our dads and him will wear. I was stressing myself out and nothing was getting accomplished so I am just letting things be.

L&J2012 · March 2012

I've been really emotional lately, and I think it's a combination of not getting enough sleep and the wedding. The food tasting was one of the most stressfuls parts of planning last month on our way to the jeweler's FI had to pull over and hold me because I was crying about it. Last week I didn't get much sleep and I didn't want to curl because I was tired and I started crying out on the ice for no reason whatsoever. At work I'd be on the verge of tears or actually crying. Friday night I broke down. I've been sleeping better since Saturday night so I've been a little better since then, but I'm not one to show my emotions easily so it's very uncharacteristic of me. Ugh!

Elizabeth80 · March 2012

Wow Ashley! I'm sorry that your WP is the source of your drama. Thankfully we're good (so far) in that arena. But my brother is pulling his daughter (JBM) from our wedding. I def don't get why people go crazy when it comes to weddings. You always hear about the bride being a 'bridezilla' but it might be because family and friends have mentally gone MIA!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-having-regular-breakdowns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9cb46f9a-88d2-4c64-81e5-2948069ecdd2Post:9e6543e7-4a6d-4d2c-afab-75ee8f11b77f">Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am kinda at the point where I keep saying "It is what it is". My bridesmaids created drama at my shower, I am 99% sure my junior bridesmaids mother is pulling her from the wedding, my hosts for my shower back home backed out of hosting and FI still hasn't picked what tux's his brother, our dads and him will wear. I was stressing myself out and nothing was getting accomplished so I am just letting things be.
Posted by Ash61612[/QUOTE]

Ash61612 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-having-regular-breakdowns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9cb46f9a-88d2-4c64-81e5-2948069ecdd2Post:cd2603fe-6852-41b4-a230-72fbca16f7ee">Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Wow Ashley! I'm sorry that your WP is the source of your drama.</strong> Thankfully we're good (so far) in that arena. But my brother is pulling his daughter (JBM) from our wedding. I def don't get why people go crazy when it comes to weddings. You always hear about the bride being a 'bridezilla' but it might be because family and friends have mentally gone MIA! In Response to Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns? :
Posted by Elizabeth80[/QUOTE]

yeah I was shocked too, even my mom was commenting how surprised she was at the way they are acting. But I am letting it go

kks4471 · March 2012

2 weeks ago FI played a mean prank on me, and I completely lost it

I was absolutely bawling while laying on the cold wood floor. I blamed wedding stress for making me lose my marbles. Fortunately FI and I are fine now, he apologized and we've moved on. I hadn't cried that much in years.

khafner2 · March 2012

I think it is only natural for all the stress to get to us. Thankfully with the wedding I've held it together. However, we attempted family pictures. One of the twins would not cooperate so we ended up with no family pictures and no pictures of the baby. FI was being an a$$ and all he kept saying was it was such a waste of $100. I cried like a baby and explained to him I was just trying to capture memories with my family. He felt like a huge jerk afterwards.

kelsey+brandon · March 2012

I HATE it when someone tells me to calm down when I get upset. More than likely, you just made me even madder.

And I totally understand that it's supposed to be a fun and exciting time that you're supposed to enjoy...trust me, I've been enjoying it for 16 1/2 months now. I also understand that I am so over this phase. Does it mean I'm not thrilled to be marrying FI and all the exciting things that are ahead of us? No. I'm just ready to be married to the man for crying out loud.

This is the largest party most of us will ever plan...and despite all of our FI's best efforts, we're planning this thing by ourselves. It IS stressful and who doesn't need a good cry every once in a while? I know I do.

janeash · March 2012

If anyone is feeling sad/frustrated/on the verge of a breakdown/etc today, you should watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb8AeSh1rGs. Definitely just made me smile!

Ash61612 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-having-regular-breakdowns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9cb46f9a-88d2-4c64-81e5-2948069ecdd2Post:a7341bf6-7ef4-4104-8fee-7cbafd70312b">Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns?</a>:
[QUOTE]I HATE it when someone tells me to calm down when I get upset. More than likely, you just made me even madder. And I totally understand that it's supposed to be a fun and exciting time that you're supposed to enjoy...trust me, <strong>I've been enjoying it for 16 1/2 months now. I also understand that I am so over this phase. Does it mean I'm not thrilled to be marrying FI and all the exciting things that are ahead of us? No. I'm just ready to be married to the man for crying out loud.</strong> This is the largest party most of us will ever plan...and despite all of our FI's best efforts, we're planning this thing by ourselves. It IS stressful and who doesn't need a good cry every once in a while? I know I do.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

I am right there with you on this. Once we get married, we will have been engaged for 19 months and we started planning immediately after we got engaged. I am just over the planning process and want to live together, go to bed together and wake up beside him in the morning

kristin183 · March 2012

Yes, normally I am so calm and a go with the flow kind of person. But lately little things are bugging me. I think if it was just one or 2 of these things at a time I would be okay but when it all piles on at once it can be too much.

sweet_melissa81 · March 2012

Of course, my coworker is a moh in a wedding and the bride is just as crazy as I am and it makes me feel better!

I think he never should have picked out the tuxes without you around or getting your approval. I'm surprised they let him do that. My fiance stopped in to men's wearhouse and another tux place and they both told him to bring me in. One guy walked over to him and said, "you know whatever you pick out won't be good enough for the woman." Everyone, was laughing, but he only went without me because I asked him to look into it and I was at class.

Does he still have time to change the tuxes?

My groom and his gm are wearing grey tuxes which is what my fiance wanted and I let him have it. I love them, but I understand your pov about getting married in a church or if black tuxes was "your vision."

MMRoberts11 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_anyone-else-having-regular-breakdowns?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:9cb46f9a-88d2-4c64-81e5-2948069ecdd2Post:ab8796f1-861a-4c28-847c-66d09de0a424">Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns? : Ha, I think she meant emotional breakDOWNs. Not pimples =)
Posted by diamondx423[/QUOTE]

Haha. Yep, I read that completely wrong and just skimmed very poorly over the responses.

To answer the question correctly, occasionally. I probably have a full on breakdown about once a year. For whatever reason I get a ton of stress that just builds up and then have a night of being a balling mess. The next day I have a slow, relaxing day and I'm good for another year.

michellep1 · March 2012

Omg, thank you so much everyone. I literally feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders to know that I'm not the only one going through this!!! I was really starting to get concerned and I think so was FI because when I told him about this thread he said "well that's good to know that you're not the only one". YES IT IS!!!

About the tuxes: I did tell him to go do it alone, I trusted him because he does usually have a pretty good sense of style. Like a borderline "metro" as some people say. It isn't too late to change them, and he's going to do it probably tomorrow. He's not happy about it but he said he'll get over it, and that makes me feel better because I really don't see myself getting over this, it just wouldn't seem like they were having a special day to me. I did make him cookies to aid the recovery and it definitely helped, he's back to his normal fun self after like 30 mins of pouting.

I definitely agree that people telling me to calm down & it will fall into place is the most frustrating thing ever! My sister said it to me today and I told her that I will NOT calm down!! I was having such a great time & really enjoying the planning for the first 16 months, now I'm ready to just start the marriage!!

Thanks again everyone!

Anyone else having regular breakdowns?

Re: Anyone else having regular breakdowns?

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