Wedding Woes

How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding?

I don't know what to do at this point because I am afraid to offend the guest or my future in laws. We have a cousin that we plan to invite who has special needs. Basically, she has severe social issues and brings along a pet wherever she goes in order to help calm herself down. She will probably want to bring this pet to our wedding and I know that the chapel people may not mind since it's a nondenominational place that is really an alter with a bunch of pews and that's it.

But the venue may not let her in if she has an animal with her, because it's not a dog or anything. She has a certificate of authenticity or whatever you call it to say that her pet is her helper in panic situations but no one in the family believes her. Me, I like animals so it's nice to see her hanging out with her pet friend all the time. So I asked the reception place if they can make an exception but because iguanas aren't part of the norm they said they have to get back to me on if they will allow it. I want to know if I should change my reception place or just figure out a way to tell his cousin she can't bring the helper pet to our party??

Re: How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding?

  • Surely this is not the first time this woman has gone to an affair (wedding, shower, graduation, etc) at some type of venue.  As a host, I don't think it's your responsibility to make sure her pet is allowed.  She (or her family/caretaker) should be the one to make sure they can accommodate her "special" needs.
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  • GBCk - does it wear shoes? i love seeing mini-ponies in tennis shoes! too cute!
  • wow, spelling fail on my part. The more time I spend as an engineer, the more they pull me over to the dark side. *headdesk*
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  • wait - that wasn't my spelling fail, it was the original title that got quoted. Ok, I'm losing it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_accomadate-special-needs-guest-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:a3cd2188-db46-46c1-9ea2-7b401fdeb8efPost:0d7a1b23-b909-49b4-b571-3c9863caee25">Re: How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]GBCk - does it wear shoes? i love seeing mini-ponies in tennis shoes! too cute!
    Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

    <div>NO, but it should!</div><div>I think I have a picture of it in a news article--I'll put on FB if I can find it :)</div>
  • Oh, I am pro-skunk in general, just not as a helper pet, where you need people to understand and accept so that you can take your helper animal in the building.  Maybe if they made tiny sneakers for skunks like they do for helper ponies, more animals would be more widely accepted as helpers.  No one can resist an animal in shoes.
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  • edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_accomadate-special-needs-guest-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:a3cd2188-db46-46c1-9ea2-7b401fdeb8efPost:762fbcf2-e92c-4735-9627-5aa3ab68deb2">Re: How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]She puts a small homemade leash on it and lets it sit in her arms. It's quite calm.
    Posted by BessM2B[/QUOTE]



    Okay this has to be fake!
  • Instead of asking your venue if it's OK, you might speak to management and tell them that, under the ADA, she will be bringing her service animal, but it is unusual, so what documentation will they be wanting?  Then, make sure you get the approval in writing, and if there is a specific coordinator assigned to your event, or you can find out the manager on duty that day, make sure they know.  

    As I understand it, part of the problem is that "service animal" is a rather ill-defined term, with no one accrediting authority.  Also, just because she is legally allowed to bring it doesn't mean that the staff will be educated enough on the issue to avoid problems.  It is considerate of you to want to address this in advance.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_accomadate-special-needs-guest-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:a3cd2188-db46-46c1-9ea2-7b401fdeb8efPost:0620c82c-af50-4106-972a-6247dc980b18">Re: How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding? : Okay this has to be fake!
    Posted by HermosaHearts[/QUOTE]

    She had me at "iguana"
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  • Raptor, thank you! That is so helpful, and that is the problem.
  • I agree that if it is legit, it has to be allowed, but isn't an iguana a violation of health codes or something?  Is it just going to poop and pee wherever it is or can they be trained?   Service animal or not, I'll be damned if I'm going to eat next to a puddle of iguana pee.

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    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_accomadate-special-needs-guest-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:a3cd2188-db46-46c1-9ea2-7b401fdeb8efPost:404b2037-937a-472f-be2a-0011776f06ac">Re: How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree that if it is legit, it has to be allowed, but isn't an iguana a violation of health codes or something?  Is it just going to poop and pee wherever it is or can they be trained?   Service animal or not, I'll be damned if I'm going to eat next to a puddle of iguana pee.
    Posted by L&R70707[/QUOTE]

    i'm going to assume, based on my leopard gecko experience, that the iguana only poops (similar to a bird pooping, only a bit more solid), and doesn't pee. my gecko generally only poops once a day if she is eating normally.

    any service anymal can technically have an accident, but then again, so can any guest.

    ETA: also, the gecko has a "bathroom" area in her aquarium. she only goes in one corner, and not anywhere she feels like.
  • I actually wondered the same thing when I heard about service horses for religious reasons.  I've yet to see a horse that didn't let loose whenever and whereever it felt like.  At last an iguana would leave a much smaller mess...
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_accomadate-special-needs-guest-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:a3cd2188-db46-46c1-9ea2-7b401fdeb8efPost:95c550a7-ac9f-4704-abd1-06f755b1f7aa">Re: How to accomadate a special needs guest at the wedding?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I actually wondered the same thing when I heard about service horses for religious reasons.  I've yet to see a horse that didn't let loose whenever and whereever it felt like.  At last an iguana would leave a much smaller mess...
    Posted by RaptorSLH[/QUOTE]

    <div>Service horses wear poop bags like parade horses sometimes do.</div>
  • My dad's a pilot and has service mini-ponies on a few of his flights. Apparently they don't do well on planes, and they stink. One ended up crapping in the aisle. But for fvck's sake those things are adorable.
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