this is the code for the render ad
Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

FI's sister?

Hi Knotties! I had a question regarding my FI's one and only sister. While she is only a few years younger than me she is in a totally different world. I'm a mom and have barely had more than a glass of wine in almost 2 years, she is a college student and still likes to party. Don't get me wrong, we get along and I don't care how she lives her life but we just aren't close. She's only seen our 8th month old maybe 15 times. I like hanging with her when we do see her, its just not often. My sister and mother thought perhaps I should ask her to be a BM, but I really wanted to keep our wedding party under 4 and my sister and 3 best friends fill those spots. My FI was married (very briefly--don't ask :]) 3 years ago and his sister was the MOH, even though she wasn't that close to his ex. I feel bad not asking her and I guess what I'm asking is if it's something I HAVE to do because etiquette says or if that's something that's flexible. Thanks for the advice! And sorry it ended up being so long!

Re: FI's sister?

  • If your FI wants her in the wedding, he can have her on this side.  I think it's terrible to exclude people you really want up there for the sake of arbitrary numbers, though.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Yes; agree with aerin. Ask him what he would prefer; if he wants her and you absolutely have no give in you as far as bridal party size goes, stick her on his side.  If he doesn't have an opinion on the matter, and you don't think it'll cause bad blood in the family from here on out to exclude her, I don't see it as required that his sister stand up. You can have her do a reading or something.
    This knottie's been ransacked, suckas!
  • My FI sister is doing a reading at our wedding.  In my family/circle of friends the bride picks the female attendants and the groom picks the males.  It's nice to use your FI siblings but not mandatory.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My hubs and I were just having this discussion. Your bridal party is YOUR bridal party. There are people who you go through life with you and people who are there while you're going through life. If your groom couldn't care less then don't stress yourself about it.
    Be still and know... Wedding Countdown Ticker www.weddingwire.com/teamfaison
  • Wow, I am shocked with some of the responses on here regarding this one.

    First of all it is both of your weddings, regardless of how many priors either has had. You said yes to him, so you obviously didn't care about it then.

    Second, its his one and only sister, Its not like there are 5 of them. Find something for her to do, make him happy, you are marrying into his family. The last thing you want to do is start with bad blood. (just my opinion)  So what if it throws numbers off, people are not even gonna notice that. Besides you might ask her and she might say no, so then you are worried over nothing!!!

    Just be smart, don't ruin this for your Fi, you get him the rest of your lives, so if it makes him happy for that one day, give it to him!!
    ~Feels like home to me~
  • my fiance was actually not at all concerned about having her in the wedding. and i was planning on asking her to do a reading if i ended up not having her in the wedding party. thanks for the input though
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards