Ok to use nickname?

Loganwedding2013 · January 2012

Hello Knotties,

Quick question: I never ever use my goverment (first) name. Not in social circles, not at work and no one except immediate family even knows what it is. So my question is, is it improper for me to use my family nickname on the invites and during the ceremony or is this breaking the rules?

I am really not fond of my name and really don't want all of the 350 guests to know what it is. But I also don't want to do something improper.

What do you ladies think?

SCogs18 · January 2012

I think it would be alright to use your nickname as long as it's appropriate. My FI goes by a nickname (his first name is well known, but never used) and we used his nickname on our Save the Dates and his legal name on our invitations. I honestly hadn't even thought about what we will use during the ceremony.

kate2188 · January 2012

I'm not sure what the proper etiquette is, but even if it is typically to use your legal name, I would think that since the vast majority of your guest list do not know your legal name, it really makes the most sense to use your nickname on the invitation.

Unless it's something really inappropriate... Like if your legal name is Mildred but everyone thinks your name is Grannypanty? Put Mildred on the invitation.

RaptorSLH · January 2012

It's your name, I don't see what it would hurt. I would put the legal name on the wedding certificate, but an invite isn't a legal form.

I'm sure it's not the "proper" way, but who's going to complain? "Logan, do you mind if I, Logan use your nickname on Logan's wedding invitations? Why no, not at all. I, Logan, would be happy to have Logan use Logan's nickname on her invitations."

tenofcups4me · January 2012

I'd use the name you go by. Invitations aren't legal documents; they're simply a means of conveying information to your guests.

cebrady89 · January 2012

It's fine to use your nickname on the invitations, but check with your officiant about the ceremony. He may want your name during the ceremony to match what's listed on the marriage license.

nhahn2206 · January 2012

I'm going to make up my names here, but basically it's like this: My name is Jennifer Nancy H. I have never been called Jennifer by anyone, including my parents. The only time I use the name Jennifer is on legal documents and medical records. My marriage license says Jennifer Nancy H. All of our STDs, invites, etc. just said Nancy H. My officiant had no problem with that and called me Nancy throughout the ceremony. It would have been really weird for her to call me Jennifer when a lot of people don't even know that's my name.

So, do what you'd like. There's nothing wrong with it, and clearly your preference should take precedence in a situation like this.

krizzo17 · January 2012

I actually never thought about this until this weekend, when we met with our pastor and he asked which I would use. Our invitations and save the dates all have my legal name, which I also use professionally, but my fi only ever calls me by my nickname, as does my family. The pastor suggested that we use my legal name throughout the ceremony, except for the vows, where my fiance will call me by my nickname, instead.

Maggie0829 · January 2012

I have always gone by my nickname. Even before I was born my parents decided on my official name but always knew that they would call be by a nickname. I always asked them why they just didn't use my nickname as my official name and neither of them could ever give me a good answer...it is always "huh, guess we just didn't think about it" or "we should have done it that way, because it would have made things a lot easier!"

So when I got married I knew that I would use my nickname because that is what everyone knows me as. Some are even surprised to find out that it isn't my official name. My nickname went on my invites and was used during the ceremony. We did use a friend as an officiant so he had no problems using my nickname but if you are getting married in a church and such you may want to speak with the person presiding over the ceremony to see if they have any rules about nicknames.

aragx6 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-use-nickname?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f549136-9b8c-4f8e-b0f2-e3b68112fa01Post:e7bd465b-ceeb-4466-b5d4-0fe0f29e39ac">Re: Ok to use nickname?</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually never thought about this until this weekend, when we met with our pastor and he asked which I would use. Our invitations and save the dates all have my legal name, which I also use professionally, but my fi only ever calls me by my nickname, as does my family.<strong> The pastor suggested that we use my legal name throughout the ceremony, except for the vows, where my fiance will call me by my nickname, instead.
</strong>Posted by krizzo17[/QUOTE]

That's what we're going to do too. We both have a long and short form of our names and my family has never ever called me by the long form (though professionally some people definitely know me that way now). I have no problem going by the long one, but it would be weird for my FI to call me that.

rebarobert2012 · January 2012

I think it's fine to use your nickname, especially since that is what most of your guests will know you as.

MyUserName1 · January 2012

OP- as long as your nickname isn't like, Sugar Tits or something, go ahead. It would be weird if I knew you as Jessica but your invitation said Elizabeth.

Maggie- My name is Noelle Christina but my parents liked the name combo Haley Noelle better. I asked them why they didn't just name me Haley Noelle and call me Noelle. Their response: "huh, guess we just didn't think about it" Maybe our parents should have talked.

Maggie0829 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ok-use-nickname?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f549136-9b8c-4f8e-b0f2-e3b68112fa01Post:916911cd-2659-4f44-ada3-eaf8581d215f">Re: Ok to use nickname?</a>:
[QUOTE]OP- as long as your nickname isn't like, Sugar Tits or something, go ahead. It would be weird if I knew you as Jessica but your invitation said Elizabeth. <strong>Maggie- My name is Noelle Christina but my parents liked the name combo Haley Noelle better. I asked them why they didn't just name me Haley Noelle and call me Noelle. Their response: "huh, guess we just didn't think about it" Maybe our parents should have talked.
</strong>Posted by MyUserName1[/QUOTE]

Hahaha...my name is Mary Margaret, yet they always knew that they would call me Maggie (nickname for Margaret). I told them that if they just named me Maggie it would have saved years of my life constantly correcting teachers, coaches, co-workers, etc. In the last few years of college, I finally was fed up with correcting people so I just answered to anything LOL!

From my parents crazy thinking, I have learned that if I do have kids I will name them what I want to call them...no confusion, no nicknames, just straight forward and to the point.

krizzo17 · January 2012

haha I was hoping you'd share your legal name, but I didn't want to be rude and ask.

Both my grandmother (dad's mom) and her daughter are named "Leopoldina". This sort of makes sense for my Grandmother, she was the only one of her siblings born in the US. But everyone has always called her Dina or Diana. So what does she do? Names her daughter Leopoldina. But rather than calling her Dina, Diana, whatever...she calls her Susie. Also, random people in my family go by Tony/Toni whether or not it's even remotely related to their name.

Ok to use nickname?

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