A few months ago, my mom and I had a pretty nasty fight after I let all of the "shoulds" build up and I finally blew -- like, I "should" only have white cake since that's traditional, I "shouldn't" register for a honeymoon since that's tacky, the list goes on and on. We've made up and recovered from the argument, but it's definitely left some scars on me regarding how my family, when push comes to shove, really only cares about appearances and getting their way, even on what's supposed to be a day for me and my fiance.
Now my in-laws are doing the same thing. I invited my soon-to-be sisters-in-law to my bachelorette party (a very small, low-key spa thing), but I did not invite my mom (she was fine with that), my mother-in-law, or my brother-in-law's on again/off again girlfriend who I've never met. WELL, wrong move! My mother in law is "crushed" and the whol family feels they've been slighted that I didn't invite the girlfriend, even though she's invited to the rehearsal dinner and other wedding week events. The solution they came up with is to decline my bachelorette party and have a luncheon for me (read: for mother-in-law and stranger girlfriend) so no one feels left out.
So now, yet again, I am reminded how everyone's feelings but mine and my fiance's matter. I know there's nothing I can do, because I don't want more drama than there already is, but I am sad, hurt and disappointed. And very ready for this wedding to be over with.
For what it's worth, my wonderful finace spoke to his family and completely supports me. I am marrying the right guy :-)